好多好多疑问
没答案
压制的我好辛苦
每个人都有自己的烦恼
每个人持有的意见不同
没什么谁对谁错的
不喜欢的事情很多
不想看见的事情也很多
没预料到的事情也不是不可能发生的
很多，在我
我觉得不可理喻
不是理由，是借口
原本不应该有的负担
我却必须重重的背负着
有时也会妒忌那些看似无忧无虑的
有时甚至觉得自己所承担的其实根本是多余的
不应该面对的
我却没办法逃开
别人无法了解我面对的种种种种
也没有人可以告诉我我应该怎么面对
怎么解决
一片迷朦中
我只能靠自己的感官
去面对每一件事
做我觉得是对的事
很多很不耐烦的事
终究还是要要紧牙根熬下去
不能否认
我觉得很辛苦
面对的不是一件事情，或是一个问题
而是一个社会
一个世界
原来我小时候所不懂得的世界
所好奇，所向往的社会
是这般丑陋
丑陋得我想逃避
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Friday, December 17, 2010
confess my sin
i know i must confess this (though it doesnt sounds good to me):
recently slept for almost more than 8 hours everyday without much reading after back from hkl.
i doubt is "i'm too tired coz of i'm going hkl everyday at early 630am" an excuse for me to make myself feel better at least not guilty like hell i'm having nw?
trust me that i feel very bad of having so much of SLEEPSSSS!!!
gosh... >_<>tuesday with morrie )by mitch albom should have at least motivated me but what i'm facing now is a little bit like fearing to put hopes and expecting that there will be miracles in life...
in short, i'm afraid of dissappoinment and failing to achieve..
it doesnt sounds good in a young 21 year-old lady...
sound very hopeless and detestable...
i always try not to think this way...
but as day by day..
i work on everyday...
6:30 to 5
classes, clerking, and classes...
prof, specialists and doctors...
library, wards and tutorials...
hostel and hospitals...
is there anything more than that?
i wonder...
my life's just like a bowl of porridge without any dressing..
too boring my life is i suppose...
yaya...i'm just a student...and most of the people will think that what do u want more than this? it's the life of a student!
well, i just have to say that i dun like to be too ordinary!
i just feel that i'm like half-asleep, doing things that i automatically think i have to do...
like everytime we answer the 1st investigations that we need to do for almost EVERY patient is- baseline investigation: FBC a.k.a full blood count..
shit... this really feel sucks some of the time...
p/s: today's little story
went to medicine ward, clerked a patient with jessie- a 79 year-old chinese gentleman
according to him, admitted to hospital due to 1 week coughing with production of sputum and associated with significant chest pain on the left chest.
well, ok, dun make it sound like a presentation...
erm, then we started to ask for history of presenting, past medical history, past surgery, past social...
and in between it, this patient told us much of his young age story, ( which i dun really pay attention to listen to it)
and when we came to family history as jessie noticed that this patient, this gentleman has got some stigmata of chronic liver disease, so she tried to ask for some inherited liver disease like hep A, B, C
jessie asked in this way: uncle, lei yao mou hou ci go di wai chun beng a...lei ngok kei yan yao mou hepA, B, C go di geh?
then u know wat?
out of expectation, the uncle answered: TV tiga (TV3) jao yao la...
then jessie burst into a big laugh and i laughed too...
but as jessie laughed. and i did the same...
then i started to notice there's something wrong going on ..
ah pek seemed laughing but the espression on his face a little bit weird..
and when i got to know that he was actually crying...
it's too late...
ah pek burst into a very chai cham crying...
we freezed our laughing mode and turned into a shocked-surprised-omg mode..
i stunned and so did jessie
...................
we asked what had happened but ah pek was too sad to tell
then we decided to leave ahpek alone before he got into suffocation from his own breath...
we got back to him afterwards when he looked better...
and we apologised...
he started to clarify...
from mumbling little hoarsed voice of his...
i got to know that it's some kind of his marriage problem la..
i tried not to interrupt what he wanna tell for that moment, i think wat he wanted was just a listener as i think the things that he told us, he cant share with anybody else...
like he cant go and tell his children that his marriage is a failure as he found out that he's not ngam key with his wife...and ended up like u have to walk ur life to the end oneself without the loved one ?
he cant share this to his old friends too as i think as ppl grow old, everyone has their own family...takkan ppl wanna listen to ur poor marriage ?
so i just keep on listening to him...
as he talked, he shed his tears...
i'm pretty much willing to give this old man a hug and tell him everything will just be ok (provided, he's diagnosed and confirmed not a TB patient)
his tears flood his little two small eyes...
wondering it would make his vision clearer...
the little pale face of him now had turned red and redder...
and jessie and i use some eye contacts and thinks that it's time to leave him alone...
else, he's gonna cry til dehydrated and the doctors over there might think we've bullied the ah pek..
and yet, he's trying to tell more... but seriously, i would like to listen to him if there's such chance...but at that moment, the best thing to do is to leave..
so we leave in a good way...
asking him not to be sad...
feel a little bit sad of leaving him alone at that moment though we have no other choices better than that..
after the incident, ah pek actually leave a msg in my heart:
dun hurt the one u love; egoism sucks the most! hahaha!
"in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, and in joy as well as in sorrow, I promise to love you unconditionally, to support you in your goals, to honor and respect you, to laugh with you and cry with you, and to cherish you for as long as we both shall live."
being grateful that i live in a lovely family where, My Dad loves My Mom, and My Mom loves My Dad too~^^
ah pek, seriously hope u will get well soon :)
recently slept for almost more than 8 hours everyday without much reading after back from hkl.
i doubt is "i'm too tired coz of i'm going hkl everyday at early 630am" an excuse for me to make myself feel better at least not guilty like hell i'm having nw?
trust me that i feel very bad of having so much of SLEEPSSSS!!!
gosh... >_<>tuesday with morrie )by mitch albom should have at least motivated me but what i'm facing now is a little bit like fearing to put hopes and expecting that there will be miracles in life...
in short, i'm afraid of dissappoinment and failing to achieve..
it doesnt sounds good in a young 21 year-old lady...
sound very hopeless and detestable...
i always try not to think this way...
but as day by day..
i work on everyday...
6:30 to 5
classes, clerking, and classes...
prof, specialists and doctors...
library, wards and tutorials...
hostel and hospitals...
is there anything more than that?
i wonder...
my life's just like a bowl of porridge without any dressing..
too boring my life is i suppose...
yaya...i'm just a student...and most of the people will think that what do u want more than this? it's the life of a student!
well, i just have to say that i dun like to be too ordinary!
i just feel that i'm like half-asleep, doing things that i automatically think i have to do...
like everytime we answer the 1st investigations that we need to do for almost EVERY patient is- baseline investigation: FBC a.k.a full blood count..
shit... this really feel sucks some of the time...
p/s: today's little story
went to medicine ward, clerked a patient with jessie- a 79 year-old chinese gentleman
according to him, admitted to hospital due to 1 week coughing with production of sputum and associated with significant chest pain on the left chest.
well, ok, dun make it sound like a presentation...
erm, then we started to ask for history of presenting, past medical history, past surgery, past social...
and in between it, this patient told us much of his young age story, ( which i dun really pay attention to listen to it)
and when we came to family history as jessie noticed that this patient, this gentleman has got some stigmata of chronic liver disease, so she tried to ask for some inherited liver disease like hep A, B, C
jessie asked in this way: uncle, lei yao mou hou ci go di wai chun beng a...lei ngok kei yan yao mou hepA, B, C go di geh?
then u know wat?
out of expectation, the uncle answered: TV tiga (TV3) jao yao la...
then jessie burst into a big laugh and i laughed too...
but as jessie laughed. and i did the same...
then i started to notice there's something wrong going on ..
ah pek seemed laughing but the espression on his face a little bit weird..
and when i got to know that he was actually crying...
it's too late...
ah pek burst into a very chai cham crying...
we freezed our laughing mode and turned into a shocked-surprised-omg mode..
i stunned and so did jessie
...................
we asked what had happened but ah pek was too sad to tell
then we decided to leave ahpek alone before he got into suffocation from his own breath...
we got back to him afterwards when he looked better...
and we apologised...
he started to clarify...
from mumbling little hoarsed voice of his...
i got to know that it's some kind of his marriage problem la..
i tried not to interrupt what he wanna tell for that moment, i think wat he wanted was just a listener as i think the things that he told us, he cant share with anybody else...
like he cant go and tell his children that his marriage is a failure as he found out that he's not ngam key with his wife...and ended up like u have to walk ur life to the end oneself without the loved one ?
he cant share this to his old friends too as i think as ppl grow old, everyone has their own family...takkan ppl wanna listen to ur poor marriage ?
so i just keep on listening to him...
as he talked, he shed his tears...
i'm pretty much willing to give this old man a hug and tell him everything will just be ok (provided, he's diagnosed and confirmed not a TB patient)
his tears flood his little two small eyes...
wondering it would make his vision clearer...
the little pale face of him now had turned red and redder...
and jessie and i use some eye contacts and thinks that it's time to leave him alone...
else, he's gonna cry til dehydrated and the doctors over there might think we've bullied the ah pek..
and yet, he's trying to tell more... but seriously, i would like to listen to him if there's such chance...but at that moment, the best thing to do is to leave..
so we leave in a good way...
asking him not to be sad...
feel a little bit sad of leaving him alone at that moment though we have no other choices better than that..
after the incident, ah pek actually leave a msg in my heart:
dun hurt the one u love; egoism sucks the most! hahaha!
"in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, and in joy as well as in sorrow, I promise to love you unconditionally, to support you in your goals, to honor and respect you, to laugh with you and cry with you, and to cherish you for as long as we both shall live."
being grateful that i live in a lovely family where, My Dad loves My Mom, and My Mom loves My Dad too~^^
ah pek, seriously hope u will get well soon :)
Sunday, December 12, 2010
-untitled-
what the...
i thought i just started my weekend but hell know it's already sunday night...
weekends passed like a blink of eye..
yet my energy havent fully gain back through this short break..
burdens are there, problems havent solved...
i guess being an adult simply means u have to face every prob independently on ur own?
seriously, just on YOUR OWN...
sigh~ never think that i will be in this stage of life where i don't find myself high enough to be proud of or down enough to be self-pity...
guess i just don't feel good enough with the culture that i'm living now...
aarrgghh...
STRESS makes life tough...
looking back the past that i've strived over...
there were really a lot...
some of them make me even feel like forgetting it for life..
it would be nice if there's a medicine or some kind of syrup to drink to delete certain part of my memories which could probably become my obstacle to continue my path..
the more i experience, the more i feel like running away *though i know it isn't the way of living..
and ya ya...=.= i know it's the way to mould me throughout the process and become a better man...
but the process really takes a lots of pain...
accepting some of the facts of the world and society, is neither an easy or tough job to me..
for certain certain things, it may passed just -like-that..
and i would just don't give a damn and live my life happily after that.
while some of the occurence, you may not... or in other words, you can hardly accept that this could actually happened to you.. ( ya...what?? YOU! the unlucky one)
life isn't easy and it's always difficult some of the times..
but it isn't an excuse for anyone to give up i suppose...
there must be something interesting or something beautiful waiting for us ahead..
but before that, how much you've earn before u can get the sweet fruits as return?
i wonder how much should i pay for it...
i thought i just started my weekend but hell know it's already sunday night...
weekends passed like a blink of eye..
yet my energy havent fully gain back through this short break..
burdens are there, problems havent solved...
i guess being an adult simply means u have to face every prob independently on ur own?
seriously, just on YOUR OWN...
sigh~ never think that i will be in this stage of life where i don't find myself high enough to be proud of or down enough to be self-pity...
guess i just don't feel good enough with the culture that i'm living now...
aarrgghh...
STRESS makes life tough...
looking back the past that i've strived over...
there were really a lot...
some of them make me even feel like forgetting it for life..
it would be nice if there's a medicine or some kind of syrup to drink to delete certain part of my memories which could probably become my obstacle to continue my path..
the more i experience, the more i feel like running away *though i know it isn't the way of living..
and ya ya...=.= i know it's the way to mould me throughout the process and become a better man...
but the process really takes a lots of pain...
accepting some of the facts of the world and society, is neither an easy or tough job to me..
for certain certain things, it may passed just -like-that..
and i would just don't give a damn and live my life happily after that.
while some of the occurence, you may not... or in other words, you can hardly accept that this could actually happened to you.. ( ya...what?? YOU! the unlucky one)
life isn't easy and it's always difficult some of the times..
but it isn't an excuse for anyone to give up i suppose...
there must be something interesting or something beautiful waiting for us ahead..
but before that, how much you've earn before u can get the sweet fruits as return?
i wonder how much should i pay for it...
Saturday, December 11, 2010
sitiawan... :(
T_T
i guess i cant back home alr...
at first i planned to go back during christmas...
but hell know the mock exam is actually start from 20th to 31st..
and if there's two short cases and one long case...
i dun think that Mr.C can make it all within one week lorrr...
T_T
my hope burst into pieces...
:''(
after mock then there's another professional exam 2 in two weeks time..
guess wont have mood to go back also since it's like a sky-like-big exam..
aiks....
i still left with some energy before i get burned out...
:(
sitiawan, i'm so far away from u...
i guess i cant back home alr...
at first i planned to go back during christmas...
but hell know the mock exam is actually start from 20th to 31st..
and if there's two short cases and one long case...
i dun think that Mr.C can make it all within one week lorrr...
T_T
my hope burst into pieces...
:''(
after mock then there's another professional exam 2 in two weeks time..
guess wont have mood to go back also since it's like a sky-like-big exam..
aiks....
i still left with some energy before i get burned out...
:(
sitiawan, i'm so far away from u...
Friday, December 10, 2010
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
†
the cross †
i hope it keeps me believe in miracles and faith~
and remember of who i am...
thanks mom...
muacks... 
i hope it keeps me believe in miracles and faith~
and remember of who i am...
thanks mom...
muacks...
21st rocks!!
a very beautiful memory that u guys had gave me..
thanks guys --> u know who u are...^^
haha!
- being pranked in sunway mall...
- being dumped in toilet and get lost to find my housemates back...*in case u guys dunno i'm gt no sense of direction =.=
- catching lots of photos as we're celebrating christmas more than like my birthday XP
- HART chicken buffet ... XD
- trapped in the car park of sunway and the two malays that gave us a helping hand...^^
it was all about "huh?! serious??" and
"omg, u guys are driving me crazy!"
XD
the day before my birthday was tired and exhausting as i was having headache since the morning of the day...
- and then the next day, 29th was all about being fooled but i laughed a lot!!
LOL...
being surprised by some of the "people"
and basically i think the night of 29th was all about wasabi and Durian...
wonder secret recipe got so many durian cakess??
wasabi was awesome!!! until the moment i thought somebody so sweetly feed me a small little sushi, but my tongue found out that it's actually another prank...LOL...
wasabi takes the responsibility of making me sore throat??
>.<
the steamboat was awesome!! XP
i do LIKE the place very much!!
thousands of words of appreciating which i cant really speak out..
you all make my day...
*gam dong...
i shouldnt doubt my Buddies ~!!
haha!!
thanks guys --> u know who u are...^^
haha!
- being pranked in sunway mall...
- being dumped in toilet and get lost to find my housemates back...*in case u guys dunno i'm gt no sense of direction =.=
- catching lots of photos as we're celebrating christmas more than like my birthday XP
- HART chicken buffet ... XD
- trapped in the car park of sunway and the two malays that gave us a helping hand...^^
it was all about "huh?! serious??" and
"omg, u guys are driving me crazy!"
XD
the day before my birthday was tired and exhausting as i was having headache since the morning of the day...
- and then the next day, 29th was all about being fooled but i laughed a lot!!
LOL...
being surprised by some of the "people"
and basically i think the night of 29th was all about wasabi and Durian...
wonder secret recipe got so many durian cakess??
wasabi was awesome!!! until the moment i thought somebody so sweetly feed me a small little sushi, but my tongue found out that it's actually another prank...LOL...
wasabi takes the responsibility of making me sore throat??
>.<
the steamboat was awesome!! XP
i do LIKE the place very much!!
thousands of words of appreciating which i cant really speak out..
you all make my day...
*gam dong...
i shouldnt doubt my Buddies ~!!
haha!!
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
我不是伟人
只是不明白
很多事情
没得解释
该怪自己
还是说服自己那根本不是我想的那样？
怎样都好
我想那并不重要
因为世界太大
你改变不了它
只有改变自己的态度
让自己在这世界不用费太多力气
也可以过得很快乐
常想
没什么事是大不了的
可是
真的没什么事是大不了的吗？
纵使背负着伤口
我还是会继续走下去
期许你明白我有时真的不能成为你的伟人
因为我也是凡人之躯
有疲惫的时候
压抑被无心伤害
对自己说：都会过去的
再多的道歉
并不是我要的
只希望你不要再用嘲笑的眼光在我伤口上撒盐
那会让我觉得很羞愧
很难过
希望你觉悟这一点
很多事情
没得解释
该怪自己
还是说服自己那根本不是我想的那样？
怎样都好
我想那并不重要
因为世界太大
你改变不了它
只有改变自己的态度
让自己在这世界不用费太多力气
也可以过得很快乐
常想
没什么事是大不了的
可是
真的没什么事是大不了的吗？
纵使背负着伤口
我还是会继续走下去
期许你明白我有时真的不能成为你的伟人
因为我也是凡人之躯
有疲惫的时候
压抑被无心伤害
对自己说：都会过去的
再多的道歉
并不是我要的
只希望你不要再用嘲笑的眼光在我伤口上撒盐
那会让我觉得很羞愧
很难过
希望你觉悟这一点
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
幸福的定义
其实你很幸福
只是你不知道
有时候对你的不知足
感到有点反胃
不是每个人都可以像你一样
做什么事都好
请想想还有那些连三餐都成问题的小孩
那些连房子都没有的小孩
还有那些遭遇比较不幸的小孩
凡事不一定要拥有
才是幸福
只是你不知道
有时候对你的不知足
感到有点反胃
不是每个人都可以像你一样
做什么事都好
请想想还有那些连三餐都成问题的小孩
那些连房子都没有的小孩
还有那些遭遇比较不幸的小孩
凡事不一定要拥有
才是幸福
Monday, November 15, 2010
stuck in shit where it's really a shit!
shit..
suddenly stress up...
gastric acid secreted ..
wat the...
i cant control my life well...
wat i want i cant really get it
wat i hope, i cant reach it..
nth can be done...
unlike exam u can work hard for it..
unlike if u're fat, u can slim down by work out...
shit..
please help me to get out from this shit..
i hate this feeling of being stucked in SHIT!
this is really shit...
why am i always been blamed so innocently!
don't doubt wat i've done and wat i've put effort on...
u're sooo realistic and u're still pretending that u're a snow white ter-makan the toxic apple??
i just wonder how u can get urself to be such cheap and still jual-ing mahal.
SHIT ~!!!
get away from me!
>=(
suddenly stress up...
gastric acid secreted ..
wat the...
i cant control my life well...
wat i want i cant really get it
wat i hope, i cant reach it..
nth can be done...
unlike exam u can work hard for it..
unlike if u're fat, u can slim down by work out...
shit..
please help me to get out from this shit..
i hate this feeling of being stucked in SHIT!
this is really shit...
why am i always been blamed so innocently!
don't doubt wat i've done and wat i've put effort on...
u're sooo realistic and u're still pretending that u're a snow white ter-makan the toxic apple??
i just wonder how u can get urself to be such cheap and still jual-ing mahal.
SHIT ~!!!
get away from me!
>=(
Thursday, November 11, 2010
叙忆
首序: 写这篇的推动力，来自女巫
朋友们：
我也真想念你们
虽然不至于梦见你们
但，前几天回家时，
很巧的
我也想起那间教室
我们吵吵闹闹的样子
还有学校后面的那棵黄花树
那棵曾经成为我们拍写“真集”背景的树
还有那个我们不曾尽力去跑过的操场
校园的铃声
校门
办公室
校长室
同学
厕所
食堂
阿·~
真怀念~
好久没看见你们了~
离上一次raya好像蛮久了~
大家都看似很忙~
没空约出来见面
是我们太不懂得珍惜那时候的我们
还是时间总是过得快
转眼毕业也四年了~
想回南华的一切一切
还真的会会心一笑
不知怎么当别人问起我的母校
我总很骄傲的说出“南华”二字
总觉得南华很了不起
我们这一批学生很了不起
天不怕地不怕
拽拽的
串老师
爱老师
整老师
没什么事是我们没做过的
如今
有的在国外，
有的已为人妻/夫
当初缘分的力量把我们聚在同一间建筑物里
创造的回忆
你们是否会一辈子记得?想念？
朋友们：
我也真想念你们
虽然不至于梦见你们
但，前几天回家时，
很巧的
我也想起那间教室
我们吵吵闹闹的样子
还有学校后面的那棵黄花树
那棵曾经成为我们拍写“真集”背景的树
还有那个我们不曾尽力去跑过的操场
校园的铃声
校门
办公室
校长室
同学
厕所
食堂
阿·~
真怀念~
好久没看见你们了~
离上一次raya好像蛮久了~
大家都看似很忙~
没空约出来见面
是我们太不懂得珍惜那时候的我们
还是时间总是过得快
转眼毕业也四年了~
想回南华的一切一切
还真的会会心一笑
不知怎么当别人问起我的母校
我总很骄傲的说出“南华”二字
总觉得南华很了不起
我们这一批学生很了不起
天不怕地不怕
拽拽的
串老师
爱老师
整老师
没什么事是我们没做过的
如今
有的在国外，
有的已为人妻/夫
当初缘分的力量把我们聚在同一间建筑物里
创造的回忆
你们是否会一辈子记得?想念？
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Dear God,
Father, i know that You hear every prayer...
but now here i'm praying to You to listen to my heart...
stay and never let go any tears that i've dropped...
sweep them away as Your mighty hand will heal the wound...
lead me and walk beside me as You are the only one who know me the best...
You know what i need and what suit me the best...
live inside my heart as i know Your love towards me will never fade away...
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."
matthew 11:28
Lord, i need Your grace to flow in me...
right now and forever...
but now here i'm praying to You to listen to my heart...
stay and never let go any tears that i've dropped...
sweep them away as Your mighty hand will heal the wound...
lead me and walk beside me as You are the only one who know me the best...
You know what i need and what suit me the best...
live inside my heart as i know Your love towards me will never fade away...
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."
matthew 11:28
Lord, i need Your grace to flow in me...
right now and forever...
Monday, November 1, 2010
hello november~
here comes the 11th month of the year...
i'm looking forward to my headphone that might be received on 29th of the month~
XD
i'm looking forward to my headphone that might be received on 29th of the month~
XD
Friday, October 8, 2010
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Sunday, October 3, 2010
别丢下我
当我数声唤你
你并没有回应我时……
我才明白
无助的形状是什么……
一直以来
我以为我能够明白身为家人
站在一旁
拿着湿布为你抹着身体
偶尔为你轻轻的咳声而紧张兮兮的那种担心
我自以为是的以为
我能够了解
什么都做不了
就只能静静的守着的感觉
直到昨天
我才明白什么叫做无助、
什么叫做担忧
我以为
我能够做些什么
但
当我被明确的告知
我是什么都不能为你做的时候
我只能低下头、叹了叹气
心口被压制的感觉
从眼角流露
小心的检查着紧闭双眼
近乎让我认不到的你
慢慢的发现你的身体
被多少支管插着
心就如同被那管子一样的穿插过
看到一个，痛一次
再注意到一个，再痛一次
终于
我忍不住
走出了加护病房
呆坐在那里
无助的影子越来越大
我是多么的痛恨自己
漠视他人的眼光
我吸了吸鼻水
顶着通红的双眼
再次进入病房……
我告诉自己：我必须弄个明白到底是怎么一回事！
走到你床前
我随手挑了个ｘ光片
还没来得及挑起整张
听见一个刺耳的声音怒骂着我
我不甘的心情终于霎那被释放
接下来是一番一字一句的理论
第一次
我像是失去理智般的
任由怒气牵着我走
伴随的却是崩溃的委屈
直到我被拉着离开病房
我再也不说一句话
总是按耐不住心头似狂风大浪般的情绪
抽蓄的向家人解释着我的无能
直到我累了
昏昏沉沉的……睡着了
离开前
我再次回到病房
唤你，
你依然不醒
我好不容易压制下来的情绪
差点霎那再次决堤
才明白原来你的不回应，
可以让我这般的痛苦
听完终于见面的医生解释关于你的
我无奈带着沉重的心离开
眉头深锁
直到……
两个小时后
来自妈妈的一通电话
说你醒了
嘴角才稍微微扬
我会默默地为你祷告……
我能为你做的，也就只有祷告……
你并没有回应我时……
我才明白
无助的形状是什么……
一直以来
我以为我能够明白身为家人
站在一旁
拿着湿布为你抹着身体
偶尔为你轻轻的咳声而紧张兮兮的那种担心
我自以为是的以为
我能够了解
什么都做不了
就只能静静的守着的感觉
直到昨天
我才明白什么叫做无助、
什么叫做担忧
我以为
我能够做些什么
但
当我被明确的告知
我是什么都不能为你做的时候
我只能低下头、叹了叹气
心口被压制的感觉
从眼角流露
小心的检查着紧闭双眼
近乎让我认不到的你
慢慢的发现你的身体
被多少支管插着
心就如同被那管子一样的穿插过
看到一个，痛一次
再注意到一个，再痛一次
终于
我忍不住
走出了加护病房
呆坐在那里
无助的影子越来越大
我是多么的痛恨自己
漠视他人的眼光
我吸了吸鼻水
顶着通红的双眼
再次进入病房……
我告诉自己：我必须弄个明白到底是怎么一回事！
走到你床前
我随手挑了个ｘ光片
还没来得及挑起整张
听见一个刺耳的声音怒骂着我
我不甘的心情终于霎那被释放
接下来是一番一字一句的理论
第一次
我像是失去理智般的
任由怒气牵着我走
伴随的却是崩溃的委屈
直到我被拉着离开病房
我再也不说一句话
总是按耐不住心头似狂风大浪般的情绪
抽蓄的向家人解释着我的无能
直到我累了
昏昏沉沉的……睡着了
离开前
我再次回到病房
唤你，
你依然不醒
我好不容易压制下来的情绪
差点霎那再次决堤
才明白原来你的不回应，
可以让我这般的痛苦
听完终于见面的医生解释关于你的
我无奈带着沉重的心离开
眉头深锁
直到……
两个小时后
来自妈妈的一通电话
说你醒了
嘴角才稍微微扬
我会默默地为你祷告……
我能为你做的，也就只有祷告……
Thursday, September 30, 2010
wishing you a happy birthday.
hAppY bIrThDaY to...........
AAABBUUUU~~~~
wish you a unforgetable 21st birthday ever~
appreciate the day when u're born 21 years ago...
fake cake for u~
here it is....nnnaaahhhh............
♫ ♪ Happy birthday to u~ ♫ ♪
♫ ♪ Happy birthday to u~ ♫ ♪
♫ ♪ Happy birthday to ABU~ ♫ ♪
♫ ♪ HAPPY BITHDAY TO YOU~!!! ♫ ♪
AAABBUUUU~~~~
wish you a unforgetable 21st birthday ever~
appreciate the day when u're born 21 years ago...
fake cake for u~
here it is....nnnaaahhhh............
♫ ♪ Happy birthday to u~ ♫ ♪
♫ ♪ Happy birthday to u~ ♫ ♪
♫ ♪ Happy birthday to ABU~ ♫ ♪
♫ ♪ HAPPY BITHDAY TO YOU~!!! ♫ ♪
Monday, September 27, 2010
灰色的舞宴
她
渐渐的是越来越不被发现
渐渐的是越来越看不见
近乎是没人发现
因此
于是
世界被分裂
变得暗淡无光
跨不过的深渊
让她觉得越来越孤独
所有的笑声泪水
像似被一层透明的玻璃隔音反弹
笑声只有自己听得见
而哭声
只会让眼泪崩溃
即便努力的奔向光明
但
黑暗总是吞噬她
刺眼的光
永远照着的不是她
就算瞬间的烟火将她点燃
但
当一切熄灭，只剩云烟
只会让她觉得相对于光明的黑暗更可怕
总是在心中点燃小小的火把
但每一次狂风暴雨
总让她的心越来越沉重
她总是期待着悦变
但殊不知太多的经历使她厌倦
使别人更无法进入她的世界
灰姑娘的梦
最后至少也穿上了她心爱的玻璃鞋
而她背负的梦
却不像灰姑娘般有南瓜车，跟华丽的舞宴
没人晓得或在乎
她赤裸裸的一双脚
流过多少的血
人说她脆弱
她宁说人冷漠
*其实她对世界来说并不是那么重要
也许就算有天她消失了，世界依然喧哗
渐渐的是越来越不被发现
渐渐的是越来越看不见
近乎是没人发现
因此
于是
世界被分裂
变得暗淡无光
跨不过的深渊
让她觉得越来越孤独
所有的笑声泪水
像似被一层透明的玻璃隔音反弹
笑声只有自己听得见
而哭声
只会让眼泪崩溃
即便努力的奔向光明
但
黑暗总是吞噬她
刺眼的光
永远照着的不是她
就算瞬间的烟火将她点燃
但
当一切熄灭，只剩云烟
只会让她觉得相对于光明的黑暗更可怕
总是在心中点燃小小的火把
但每一次狂风暴雨
总让她的心越来越沉重
她总是期待着悦变
但殊不知太多的经历使她厌倦
使别人更无法进入她的世界
灰姑娘的梦
最后至少也穿上了她心爱的玻璃鞋
而她背负的梦
却不像灰姑娘般有南瓜车，跟华丽的舞宴
没人晓得或在乎
她赤裸裸的一双脚
流过多少的血
人说她脆弱
她宁说人冷漠
*其实她对世界来说并不是那么重要
也许就算有天她消失了，世界依然喧哗
Bruno Mars - Just The Way You Are [Official Video]
^^
specially dedicated to our Princess Chow Tze Suen who happened to be my roomate at the same time
hahaha~
hAppy 21ST BIRTHDAY~
stay sweet and cute~
you're always the sweetest roomate ever~
=D
FOrEver 21~st
Saturday, September 25, 2010
妈妈
妈妈在电话里挂念我
上次欲言又止她还记得
一眼识破她的我问她是不是想念我
她却急着找借口说钢琴搁浅在一旁很久了
爸爸在中午也给我打电话
妈妈问我有出门吗
因为她知道我若待在家
也许进肚子的就不是什么正经的了
瞒不过她的我
被她的叹气声弄得眼湿湿
又问着最难回答的问题：
下次回家是几时
我支唔以对
…………
上次欲言又止她还记得
一眼识破她的我问她是不是想念我
她却急着找借口说钢琴搁浅在一旁很久了
爸爸在中午也给我打电话
妈妈问我有出门吗
因为她知道我若待在家
也许进肚子的就不是什么正经的了
瞒不过她的我
被她的叹气声弄得眼湿湿
又问着最难回答的问题：
下次回家是几时
我支唔以对
…………
Friday, September 24, 2010
惋惜
很久不代表恒久
看见他们亲密的合照
我自作多情的为你感到难过
终于
我明白你在那瞬间撕破丑陋真相
需要多大的勇气
承受多大的刺激
虽然我并不清楚当时的你是在怎样的情况下，怎样的心情下
揭露他其实也耐不住美丽的诱惑
但是，想必你当时下定决心作出像现在的改变
足以证明你当时的创伤有多大
为你现在的改变感到骄傲
至少你比以前活的快乐有自信
更完美了
要相信自己是特别的
他负了你
不是因为他忘记了当初之间的美妙感动
只是因为习惯了你对他的真诚
变得不珍惜了
腻了
于是掉入花花世界
你应该祝福他
并且感激他
是他让你明白你可以活得更好
不必在他的范围里围绕
离开虽然痛苦
但，是为了给两个人自由
潇洒的转身离开
为这错误的开始
作出美丽的结束
别浪费你的真诚
把它留给一个更值得你付出的人
原来
太久的感情
不是稳固
而是危机
看见他们亲密的合照
我自作多情的为你感到难过
终于
我明白你在那瞬间撕破丑陋真相
需要多大的勇气
承受多大的刺激
虽然我并不清楚当时的你是在怎样的情况下，怎样的心情下
揭露他其实也耐不住美丽的诱惑
但是，想必你当时下定决心作出像现在的改变
足以证明你当时的创伤有多大
为你现在的改变感到骄傲
至少你比以前活的快乐有自信
更完美了
要相信自己是特别的
他负了你
不是因为他忘记了当初之间的美妙感动
只是因为习惯了你对他的真诚
变得不珍惜了
腻了
于是掉入花花世界
你应该祝福他
并且感激他
是他让你明白你可以活得更好
不必在他的范围里围绕
离开虽然痛苦
但，是为了给两个人自由
潇洒的转身离开
为这错误的开始
作出美丽的结束
别浪费你的真诚
把它留给一个更值得你付出的人
原来
太久的感情
不是稳固
而是危机
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Thursday, September 16, 2010
转载
其时，我很累了 其实，一直没有人懂我。我习惯假装坚强，习惯了一个人面对所有… 我不知道自己到底想怎么样 有时候 我可以很开心的和每个人说话，可以很放肆的； 可是却没有人知道，那不过是伪装，很刻意的伪装 我可以让自己很快乐很快乐， 可是却找不到快乐的源头，只是傻笑。 我不习惯把事和别人说，因为我不习惯别人用可怜的眼光看我。 其实，我很珍惜身边的人，只是生活的压力让我善于遗忘，把那些记忆通过通遗忘 我以为遗忘可以让自己快乐起来… 可是，我感觉到的却是更多的寂寞… 黑夜来袭，周围的空气很冷… 一个人坐在草地对着天空发呆… 也不知道自己脑子里在想什么… 怀念过去，仅此而已… 其实，我也很渴望有一个人能懂我；能走进我的心… 其实，我很累了，真的想放下所有… 可是现实的压力只能让我背着这些慢慢走… 登QQ进入自己的空间
看看有多少人还在意着我，来看过我，我有多少空间动态… 接着 下拉，再下拉… 更重要的是自己关心的那个人的动态… 却只是看看，并不打扰… 何时发现，我不再爱写日志，即使有最新的日志，前面也会带个[转]… 不是我变的懒了，而是我疲惫了…
情愿用别人的语言，来抒发自己的情感…
挂了QQ，却不上线 挂了QQ，却不聊天 只是反复着‘展开分组’和‘关闭分组’…
上线，是为了打发寂寞； 隐身，是为了躲避失望；
就这样 挂了QQ，隐了身，看着别人的一点一滴变化…
何时 我不喜欢追逐打闹，却很想和以前一样活蹦乱跳 何时 我让自己变得沉默 ， 却很想多了解身边所谓的朋友
我喜欢在很静很静的深夜，关了灯让寂静把我包裹，却又害怕黑夜…
我也会偶尔的和朋友聚聚， 或开心 或失望
偶尔，也会寂寞的拿起手机翻开通讯录，一遍一遍的… 却不知道该打给谁、、、、、 再好的东西都有失去的一天，再深的记忆也有淡忘的一天；再爱的人也有远走的一天；该放弃的决不挽留，该珍惜的决不放手！
*有人说这论文说得很像我
……
看看有多少人还在意着我，来看过我，我有多少空间动态… 接着 下拉，再下拉… 更重要的是自己关心的那个人的动态… 却只是看看，并不打扰… 何时发现，我不再爱写日志，即使有最新的日志，前面也会带个[转]… 不是我变的懒了，而是我疲惫了…
情愿用别人的语言，来抒发自己的情感…
挂了QQ，却不上线 挂了QQ，却不聊天 只是反复着‘展开分组’和‘关闭分组’…
上线，是为了打发寂寞； 隐身，是为了躲避失望；
就这样 挂了QQ，隐了身，看着别人的一点一滴变化…
何时 我不喜欢追逐打闹，却很想和以前一样活蹦乱跳 何时 我让自己变得沉默 ， 却很想多了解身边所谓的朋友
我喜欢在很静很静的深夜，关了灯让寂静把我包裹，却又害怕黑夜…
我也会偶尔的和朋友聚聚， 或开心 或失望
偶尔，也会寂寞的拿起手机翻开通讯录，一遍一遍的… 却不知道该打给谁、、、、、 再好的东西都有失去的一天，再深的记忆也有淡忘的一天；再爱的人也有远走的一天；该放弃的决不挽留，该珍惜的决不放手！
*有人说这论文说得很像我
……
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Suffocation
i feel like shouting like how chemical romance do in this mtv.
or like Linkin park, maybe?
sh*t!
call me a emo girl i dont care..
call me nuts i dont care..
call me key siao i dun care..
idiot i am, being fooled around by emo emo things...
personally i dunno why, how come and what cause me this..
i don't feel like leaving home tomorrow!!!
i feel like i gt lots of important role to play in home
i got plenty of reasons for me to stay at home
FIRST,
i need to help my mom to light up the stupid cooking thing..
coz dunno why the stupid cooking thing need to use lighter to light up instead of turning the gas thing...*aiks...i oso dunno wat am i talking...in short, my mom need my help!!*
second,
i helped to massage my dad "accidentally" once and he said it's been a long time no ppl massage for him...
so i guess i should continue to play a role as a massage machine at home specially for my dad...
i don't know why, these kind of chores which i used to refuse to do last time, now seems to be so addicted and enjoyed to do it..esp when i saw my dad was actually loves it so much! aarrggghhh!!!
thirdly,
d*mn! i havent play with my bro yet!! * though i think he's not in the mood to play with me...
i should say i would like to kacau him before i go back...
forth,
i shall spend some time to go somewhere with my family.. still, i think i gt plenty of things to share with my parents!
fifth,
i havent taste "red wine chicken mi sua" yet!! T_T
sixth,
gosh, i need to witness the building progress of TESCO at manjung!!
seventh,
aiya...! etc etc...
simply because i just love this land.. my home!!
simply because i hate that yellow building and those wearing stupid sun glass, pretending to be yeng, fierce hateful guards...
simply because i'm sick of thinking hard of wat to eat...
simply because i hate to do my laundry on my own...
in short, i'm not satisfied!! aarrggghh~~ too bad!
cut my life into piecesss.
bull-sh*tting
learned sth last nite...
guess what, went to public bank, then on the way back, sense sth wrong with the speed of the car...
then confirmed by some weird sound from the left back tyre...
i stopped at a blessed place where it's actually in front of my dad's shop, then was totally frustrated by seeing the tire totally PUNCTURED!!
panic at the same time i was a bit impatient..
dah lah public bank wanna banking money also need to wait for about 30 mins..
those ppl queue in front of me all banking like thousandsss and each of them took bout minutesss to settle with their money..
thought of can fly back to home and continue with my work then happened this stupid thing on me...
but fortunately my mom was with me, then i felt rather safer..
called for savior...(of course my dad it's..)
happened to be so malang that my dad was about to take bath,
called my uncle, and same thing, my uncle was having bath...
so???
wait lor........................................
until the time they both reached, i was abit gone nuts..
anyway, i was hoping to at least be helpful..
but God!! the tire was like thousand kilo weighed..
cant even tried to pull it up...
dad was abit tired of loosening the screw..
but yet, i cant help...
*speechless*
i hope that i were a boy badly on the moment..
sth crossed my mind: if nex time i drive back home, in the middle of the road, at night somemore, tire get punctured. then how? one ppl... Gosh, takkan wanna wave the hand and ask for help? even if someone do stop and trying to lend me a hand, i oso scare scare lor..
duh... anyway, learned how to change a tire...
and i guess no matter how heavy it is, by the time if i really face this prob, i will do it alone...hahahaha! at least i know the way...
thank God anyway, to put me in such condition, though i was impatient and felt bad, but somehow, i think i gain benefits from the incident...
-TODAY-
tmr going back to a place and start mourning with the pathetic life...
gosh!!! wat kind of feeling it is..
havent really get satisfied with the entertainment yet didnt really catch up with my homework... sh*T
my life is in a mess!! the exam is coming so soon....j-u-s-t right at the corner, and i'm totally out of the situation now! still craving for another excitement of celebration or trip or watever..
dun feel like back to the reality yet..
aarrgghh!! wat to do???
life is bored~ =______=|||
guess what, went to public bank, then on the way back, sense sth wrong with the speed of the car...
then confirmed by some weird sound from the left back tyre...
i stopped at a blessed place where it's actually in front of my dad's shop, then was totally frustrated by seeing the tire totally PUNCTURED!!
panic at the same time i was a bit impatient..
dah lah public bank wanna banking money also need to wait for about 30 mins..
those ppl queue in front of me all banking like thousandsss and each of them took bout minutesss to settle with their money..
thought of can fly back to home and continue with my work then happened this stupid thing on me...
but fortunately my mom was with me, then i felt rather safer..
called for savior...(of course my dad it's..)
happened to be so malang that my dad was about to take bath,
called my uncle, and same thing, my uncle was having bath...
so???
wait lor........................................
until the time they both reached, i was abit gone nuts..
anyway, i was hoping to at least be helpful..
but God!! the tire was like thousand kilo weighed..
cant even tried to pull it up...
dad was abit tired of loosening the screw..
but yet, i cant help...
*speechless*
i hope that i were a boy badly on the moment..
sth crossed my mind: if nex time i drive back home, in the middle of the road, at night somemore, tire get punctured. then how? one ppl... Gosh, takkan wanna wave the hand and ask for help? even if someone do stop and trying to lend me a hand, i oso scare scare lor..
duh... anyway, learned how to change a tire...
and i guess no matter how heavy it is, by the time if i really face this prob, i will do it alone...hahahaha! at least i know the way...
thank God anyway, to put me in such condition, though i was impatient and felt bad, but somehow, i think i gain benefits from the incident...
-TODAY-
tmr going back to a place and start mourning with the pathetic life...
gosh!!! wat kind of feeling it is..
havent really get satisfied with the entertainment yet didnt really catch up with my homework... sh*T
my life is in a mess!! the exam is coming so soon....j-u-s-t right at the corner, and i'm totally out of the situation now! still craving for another excitement of celebration or trip or watever..
dun feel like back to the reality yet..
aarrgghh!! wat to do???
life is bored~ =______=|||
Friday, September 10, 2010
累
憔悴啊~
回来后足足睡了一整天却还是觉得想冬眠
来自朋友的评语都是两个字--憔悴
不知是不是因为早上上课，下午就赶回家的关系
连续两天，我都提不起精神~
Sigh~
累啊累~
回到家，看见掩不住开心的妈妈
煮了一大堆东西“伺候”我~
我想我还是幸福的~
虽然目前的我总是闷闷不乐
想说老豆去赎回了我的号码
maxis还是在手
可是没电话可用
暂时还是丢在一旁
至少，我的号码还是被保存了
那天听着朋友说着他的故事
我不知道怎么的
竟然哭了出来
毫无预警的
直到我感觉到脸颊有热热的
用手擦时，才明白那是泪
而我那位朋友
我想他是看到了
却因为在众人面前
他只静静的继续他的说词
我很不好意思
应该有吓到他
还好，后来聚在一起聊天时
他没有提起
只是问我最近是不是累了
眼睛总是红红的
感激他没太直接
避免了我不必要的尴尬
我只是想明白自己到底是为什么
伤风还没好？
为什么有一种东西压在心口
却不知道是什么
我不是在说大话
我只是想知道为什么
然后再想想用些什么方法来解决
可是现在，连要找出祸根为什么我会这样
再来个对症下药都不能
回到家，
有种很轻松的感觉
我睡了好久
睡得很安稳
跟老爸说起一些事情
他突然跟我说了一些道理
关于现实，关于面对
突然有一种很厌恶的感觉
老爸揭开很多事情跟我说
让我看清事实的同时
让我觉得人与人的距离很遥远
没有人懂另外一个人想什么，要什么，真正了解彼此
突然想到自己
知心的朋友也没多少个
大多都因为各自上了大学，
因距离等的问题
没什么机会可以谈心
就算当年彼此认定最了解彼此
也是彼此的死党
但到最后还是敌不过长期没联系
关系最后被冷冻
到最后，连要打声招呼可能都难
有时我很累
累得我不想说话
累得我不想解释
累得我就算别人说错了什么
我都点头作回应
我不知道这是好是坏
渐渐的，我变得不想乱跑
只想静静的呆在自己的世界
尽管孤僻不是我的代名词
尽管我从来就否认软弱
但我想有时候……
就算认了我不想被人打扰
就算认了我有时还是很想用眼泪宣示
应该也没大碍
总比总是在逞强来的好
累了
我只想找我的床
好好的睡一觉
心伤了
我只想找我的枕头好好的埋葬我的泪
只是我最近才发现
我的泪腺诸塞了
连倾诉
都不知道找谁了
p/s:我想天使早已在我心里擦干了我要留下的眼泪
回来后足足睡了一整天却还是觉得想冬眠
来自朋友的评语都是两个字--憔悴
不知是不是因为早上上课，下午就赶回家的关系
连续两天，我都提不起精神~
Sigh~
累啊累~
回到家，看见掩不住开心的妈妈
煮了一大堆东西“伺候”我~
我想我还是幸福的~
虽然目前的我总是闷闷不乐
想说老豆去赎回了我的号码
maxis还是在手
可是没电话可用
暂时还是丢在一旁
至少，我的号码还是被保存了
那天听着朋友说着他的故事
我不知道怎么的
竟然哭了出来
毫无预警的
直到我感觉到脸颊有热热的
用手擦时，才明白那是泪
而我那位朋友
我想他是看到了
却因为在众人面前
他只静静的继续他的说词
我很不好意思
应该有吓到他
还好，后来聚在一起聊天时
他没有提起
只是问我最近是不是累了
眼睛总是红红的
感激他没太直接
避免了我不必要的尴尬
我只是想明白自己到底是为什么
伤风还没好？
为什么有一种东西压在心口
却不知道是什么
我不是在说大话
我只是想知道为什么
然后再想想用些什么方法来解决
可是现在，连要找出祸根为什么我会这样
再来个对症下药都不能
回到家，
有种很轻松的感觉
我睡了好久
睡得很安稳
跟老爸说起一些事情
他突然跟我说了一些道理
关于现实，关于面对
突然有一种很厌恶的感觉
老爸揭开很多事情跟我说
让我看清事实的同时
让我觉得人与人的距离很遥远
没有人懂另外一个人想什么，要什么，真正了解彼此
突然想到自己
知心的朋友也没多少个
大多都因为各自上了大学，
因距离等的问题
没什么机会可以谈心
就算当年彼此认定最了解彼此
也是彼此的死党
但到最后还是敌不过长期没联系
关系最后被冷冻
到最后，连要打声招呼可能都难
有时我很累
累得我不想说话
累得我不想解释
累得我就算别人说错了什么
我都点头作回应
我不知道这是好是坏
渐渐的，我变得不想乱跑
只想静静的呆在自己的世界
尽管孤僻不是我的代名词
尽管我从来就否认软弱
但我想有时候……
就算认了我不想被人打扰
就算认了我有时还是很想用眼泪宣示
应该也没大碍
总比总是在逞强来的好
累了
我只想找我的床
好好的睡一觉
心伤了
我只想找我的枕头好好的埋葬我的泪
只是我最近才发现
我的泪腺诸塞了
连倾诉
都不知道找谁了
p/s:我想天使早已在我心里擦干了我要留下的眼泪
Saturday, September 4, 2010
Friday, September 3, 2010
幸福 * 不是偶然
爱上一个人，很简单
但，一旦爱上，却不是像想象中那么简单的可以戒掉
每个人的心中都有一个洞
让另外一个人以爱来填补那个洞
若找不到那份属于自己的爱
那么，会一辈子活在缺氧的恐惧中
爱，不是交易
它，是一种毒品
当你发现已无法自拔时，
你已经戒不掉、回不了头
只有继续的爱下去
最可悲的事
莫过于你在记忆里尝试寻找他的影子时
发现你笑着哭了出来
当他/她愿意站在你身边时
请把握每个牵起他/她的手的机会
因为
你不知道有谁会从你身边牵走他/她
原谅她的一切过去
因为你，可能就是她改变的理由
如果两个人连吵架都不想吵了
该是时候，坐下来谈谈了
在一起久了，感情自然会退色
但是要明白，爱不是瞬间烟火
只有灿烂的火花
而是恒久的忍耐、包容、关怀
要遇到对的人，对的感觉，对的默契的人
不容易
当你遇见了，请记得捉紧他/她
他也许是你的命运，但别让别人有机会把你们分开~
^^
但，一旦爱上，却不是像想象中那么简单的可以戒掉
每个人的心中都有一个洞
让另外一个人以爱来填补那个洞
若找不到那份属于自己的爱
那么，会一辈子活在缺氧的恐惧中
爱，不是交易
它，是一种毒品
当你发现已无法自拔时，
你已经戒不掉、回不了头
只有继续的爱下去
最可悲的事
莫过于你在记忆里尝试寻找他的影子时
发现你笑着哭了出来
当他/她愿意站在你身边时
请把握每个牵起他/她的手的机会
因为
你不知道有谁会从你身边牵走他/她
原谅她的一切过去
因为你，可能就是她改变的理由
如果两个人连吵架都不想吵了
该是时候，坐下来谈谈了
在一起久了，感情自然会退色
但是要明白，爱不是瞬间烟火
只有灿烂的火花
而是恒久的忍耐、包容、关怀
要遇到对的人，对的感觉，对的默契的人
不容易
当你遇见了，请记得捉紧他/她
他也许是你的命运，但别让别人有机会把你们分开~
^^
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
是可忍，孰不可忍！！
真的是佛都有火！！
本人不是没有脾气！
是不想发而已！
惹我，我在糟的情况下都算可以忍……
好惹不惹，惹我家人！？
无良到偷了我的手机，
我妈打过去，好意思接了电话
还反过来理直气壮的骂我妈妈？？
电话都给你去了，
你是不懂得什么是羞耻
还是在你的语言里，没有这个字？?
！·#￥#·%#%#！·！
CHEAP到没有人有！！
真不知是不是这种人都做这些事~！！
真是怪不得一辈子落后不长进！！！
我衷心希望你能够平平安安度过你的开心死鬼新年！！！
不要让我在医院碰见你头破血流，小便还要靠尿袋输管！！
我同情你这辈子都穷~街边拾垃圾成为你的专长！！
迟点神智不清还要喝自己的尿吃自己屎！！
没脑的家伙~！！怜悯你这辈子坐定坚牢！！
没家教的孽种！！！
火冒三丈！！
本人不是没有脾气！
是不想发而已！
惹我，我在糟的情况下都算可以忍……
好惹不惹，惹我家人！？
无良到偷了我的手机，
我妈打过去，好意思接了电话
还反过来理直气壮的骂我妈妈？？
电话都给你去了，
你是不懂得什么是羞耻
还是在你的语言里，没有这个字？?
！·#￥#·%#%#！·！
CHEAP到没有人有！！
真不知是不是这种人都做这些事~！！
真是怪不得一辈子落后不长进！！！
我衷心希望你能够平平安安度过你的开心死鬼新年！！！
不要让我在医院碰见你头破血流，小便还要靠尿袋输管！！
我同情你这辈子都穷~街边拾垃圾成为你的专长！！
迟点神智不清还要喝自己的尿吃自己屎！！
没脑的家伙~！！怜悯你这辈子坐定坚牢！！
没家教的孽种！！！
火冒三丈！！
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Thursday, August 26, 2010
worst day i had...
hello everyone..
i had a very bad day here..
haha!
not feeling like going to be angry or cursing or blaming anyone beside me now...
since it's all my fault anyway..
gonna announce that :
i've lost my phone..
i'm not going to use maxis anymore...
sigh..a bit sad of it coz it's my number ever since form 2 til now...
and my bro is having a quite similar number with my maxis number..
sigh~
the number....i'm not gonna claim it back alr since i gt no handphone to use and i'll afraid of if i lost it again?
phobia alr...
to everyone who's concerned, please contact my digi number instead of maxis start from now..
u're not gonna get any reply from maxis of course ...
i'm so sorry for the inconvenience caused...
a bit depressed today...
start from the beginning of the day, i've a mild shock from my groupmate who said that i've to find a long case on the spot to present this morning...
and either me or the other groupmate gonna be the presenter to a high-expecting and can kill u by his eye sight doc...
can u imagine what's the feeling?
somemore the previous day my the other groupmate done very well in presenting case, he's very happy with it, can u imagine if i bull shit in front of him the next day??
i will spoil his mood and my groupmate's effort...
or maybe he will disappointed on me only la actually...which is sth i afraid of...
i hate seeing disappointing face...
that's why i'm stressed~!
and anyhow by the time i managed to find a case and try to practise in short time, my group leader said that he went to meeting alr...
which means i gt to present the case on the afternoon to the other doc...
which make me feel cannot relieved and continue stress up...
i think that's why my head start to pain and having throbbing sensation on my head which make me feel bad...
later in time, luckily still i managed to present it...and finally time to go back k17
who knows today bus driver use another road to go back hostel..
i actually told him that i'm rushing time..
but he claimed that it's the same distance road and it's gonna take same time to reach...
and finally ended up, he went to petrol station and fill in full tank which use about 15 minutes staying at the petrol station~!
gosh~! i dun care wat day he wanna fill petrol, whenever he wanna refill just go ahead, i'm just wondering why he's so cute...knowing that i;m rushing time yet he's still using his big butt and walk slowly, do everything slowly ?
cute bus driver~~ make us wait for him for the first day of this week going to hosp kajang...and waste my time at the end of the week...
back to hostel, realise that i lost my handphone..dunno wat can i do..
i was having mix feeling when i get to know it..
guilty and scare of being scolded?
not being responsible of my belongings???
i dunno wat should i do...
i was blank...how could it happen to me...wat am i doing?
haiz...
finally, being late to start our journey to bkt jalil...
making hui shan to be late to back home and choose to go back hosp kajang to try to find it again and of course i failed...
jessie missed the gathering chance with her friends, which make me even feel worse...
hui shan's mom calling her asking why so late havent up bus yet...
and jessie's mom was worrying her late-coming-back daughter..
all because of me....
i'm deeply sorry yet i dunno how to express it ...
coz i'm having hard feeling in me too...
daddy and mom called me, and i choose to tell the truth...
surprisingly they're not very angry over it, on the other hand,mom asked me to back tmr...
saying that it's a bit too late for me to back alone..dangerous and all kind of stuff ....
make me feel really really warm..thanks mom~! (even the nex moment after that, she started to nag over me saying that how could i lost the thing)..but still~ i appreciate it alot.
second time, daddy calling...lagi stress to pick up the phone...
and again surprisingly...daddy din say much..just ask me how i lost it and he said that actually morning when he called my maxis, still ringing de...but now all in voicemail alr...
then he console me saying that, what has happened alr happened... no point of saying anythg...
i feel really much more relieved...
safely send hui shan go bkt jalil and i bought a ticket of 9am tmr...
then jessie and i depart to go for dinner together..
sincerely a BIG THANKS to jessie that helped me alot in this critical time...
i'm so so sorry over it of wat has happened to u at the end after u choose to help me...
like nearly kena saman??
haha~! we can never get together nex time...really can happen alot of things...
i pray much gao gao of the police wont send any saman to ur house~! or else, i think i will share the saman with u...if the saman is rm300?? haha...cant manage to pay it all la...
i promise here..
thanks a lot of having a sweet dinner with me..which then making me feel much more better alr...
p/s: i din feel like cursing the thief of stealing my belongings since part of it, it's my fault of din really take care of my stuff...somemore, i think he/she must be in a very difficult condition or guilty to steal my phone... lagipun, i'm not sure whether i lost it myself or actually gt ppl steal it in purpose though i think the latter one will stand a higher percentage since i realised actually gt ppl touched and moved by beg...
i just hope that one day, someone or some little humanity side of u will make u realised of stealing other's ppl things is not a good habit no matter how hard situation are u in...
thanks Lord anyway of blessing me for the safe journey back to dong's house...at least, i think we're blessed to not kena that saman~! have faith, i put my trust...
being thankful that , no matter what situation i'm in, i know You are always beside me and bless me~ thank you Lord Jesus...
i had a very bad day here..
haha!
not feeling like going to be angry or cursing or blaming anyone beside me now...
since it's all my fault anyway..
gonna announce that :
i've lost my phone..
i'm not going to use maxis anymore...
sigh..a bit sad of it coz it's my number ever since form 2 til now...
and my bro is having a quite similar number with my maxis number..
sigh~
the number....i'm not gonna claim it back alr since i gt no handphone to use and i'll afraid of if i lost it again?
phobia alr...
to everyone who's concerned, please contact my digi number instead of maxis start from now..
u're not gonna get any reply from maxis of course ...
i'm so sorry for the inconvenience caused...
a bit depressed today...
start from the beginning of the day, i've a mild shock from my groupmate who said that i've to find a long case on the spot to present this morning...
and either me or the other groupmate gonna be the presenter to a high-expecting and can kill u by his eye sight doc...
can u imagine what's the feeling?
somemore the previous day my the other groupmate done very well in presenting case, he's very happy with it, can u imagine if i bull shit in front of him the next day??
i will spoil his mood and my groupmate's effort...
or maybe he will disappointed on me only la actually...which is sth i afraid of...
i hate seeing disappointing face...
that's why i'm stressed~!
and anyhow by the time i managed to find a case and try to practise in short time, my group leader said that he went to meeting alr...
which means i gt to present the case on the afternoon to the other doc...
which make me feel cannot relieved and continue stress up...
i think that's why my head start to pain and having throbbing sensation on my head which make me feel bad...
later in time, luckily still i managed to present it...and finally time to go back k17
who knows today bus driver use another road to go back hostel..
i actually told him that i'm rushing time..
but he claimed that it's the same distance road and it's gonna take same time to reach...
and finally ended up, he went to petrol station and fill in full tank which use about 15 minutes staying at the petrol station~!
gosh~! i dun care wat day he wanna fill petrol, whenever he wanna refill just go ahead, i'm just wondering why he's so cute...knowing that i;m rushing time yet he's still using his big butt and walk slowly, do everything slowly ?
cute bus driver~~ make us wait for him for the first day of this week going to hosp kajang...and waste my time at the end of the week...
back to hostel, realise that i lost my handphone..dunno wat can i do..
i was having mix feeling when i get to know it..
guilty and scare of being scolded?
not being responsible of my belongings???
i dunno wat should i do...
i was blank...how could it happen to me...wat am i doing?
haiz...
finally, being late to start our journey to bkt jalil...
making hui shan to be late to back home and choose to go back hosp kajang to try to find it again and of course i failed...
jessie missed the gathering chance with her friends, which make me even feel worse...
hui shan's mom calling her asking why so late havent up bus yet...
and jessie's mom was worrying her late-coming-back daughter..
all because of me....
i'm deeply sorry yet i dunno how to express it ...
coz i'm having hard feeling in me too...
daddy and mom called me, and i choose to tell the truth...
surprisingly they're not very angry over it, on the other hand,mom asked me to back tmr...
saying that it's a bit too late for me to back alone..dangerous and all kind of stuff ....
make me feel really really warm..thanks mom~! (even the nex moment after that, she started to nag over me saying that how could i lost the thing)..but still~ i appreciate it alot.
second time, daddy calling...lagi stress to pick up the phone...
and again surprisingly...daddy din say much..just ask me how i lost it and he said that actually morning when he called my maxis, still ringing de...but now all in voicemail alr...
then he console me saying that, what has happened alr happened... no point of saying anythg...
i feel really much more relieved...
safely send hui shan go bkt jalil and i bought a ticket of 9am tmr...
then jessie and i depart to go for dinner together..
sincerely a BIG THANKS to jessie that helped me alot in this critical time...
i'm so so sorry over it of wat has happened to u at the end after u choose to help me...
like nearly kena saman??
haha~! we can never get together nex time...really can happen alot of things...
i pray much gao gao of the police wont send any saman to ur house~! or else, i think i will share the saman with u...if the saman is rm300?? haha...cant manage to pay it all la...
i promise here..
thanks a lot of having a sweet dinner with me..which then making me feel much more better alr...
p/s: i din feel like cursing the thief of stealing my belongings since part of it, it's my fault of din really take care of my stuff...somemore, i think he/she must be in a very difficult condition or guilty to steal my phone... lagipun, i'm not sure whether i lost it myself or actually gt ppl steal it in purpose though i think the latter one will stand a higher percentage since i realised actually gt ppl touched and moved by beg...
i just hope that one day, someone or some little humanity side of u will make u realised of stealing other's ppl things is not a good habit no matter how hard situation are u in...
thanks Lord anyway of blessing me for the safe journey back to dong's house...at least, i think we're blessed to not kena that saman~! have faith, i put my trust...
being thankful that , no matter what situation i'm in, i know You are always beside me and bless me~ thank you Lord Jesus...
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
not-well.
not very well these few days...
having stomachache...
gas inside my stomach without known cause
definitely not because of skipping meal coz i'm taking meal everyday...
:(
having stomachache...
gas inside my stomach without known cause
definitely not because of skipping meal coz i'm taking meal everyday...
:(
Monday, August 23, 2010
想到什么，写什么
上个周末过得还算充实
拜五就找dong，直接到星期日才回来
吃了snowflakes, subang murni 算是最大的“心愿”
两个人星期日去one u（不是看力宏去）
而是吃士林鸡，顺便觉得逛街最佳首选是one u
所以才去的
不好意思，好像很不给脸的感觉
我是不想阻碍交通，已经那么多人看了
就让力宏迷看得开心点
我就只要在经过时，看看那些“热情”的粉丝~
XD
很多人都说他本人超级帅~！
我就没眼福啦~
哈哈！
买了条裤子，蛮满意的
反正也很久没血拼了~
钱包有点出血
可是，很爽！！
XD
*两个人逛街的感觉很好！
******************************************************************
突然看回家的照片~
有东西要炫耀一下
有些东西，你们是妒嫉不了那么多的啦~
爸妈基因遗传~
我就是那么的可爱！！
哈哈哈！~
当时我是刚睡醒~
我叔叔都我笑的~
笑得很自然……
还有好几张
是连环照来的
笑到翻肚子的那种~
哈哈！！
真佩服我可以可爱到那种地步
；P
以后我的孩子应该还可以比我更可爱！
哈哈~
XD
这个呢~
是我在阿姨家旁拍的
很明显
我很害羞啦~
裙子都被我捉了起来~
XP
太~~~可爱了！！
哈哈！！
要看更多？
期待下一次啦~
这些绝对是超级无敌珍贵的照片！
ALL COPYRIGHT RESERVED~!
哈哈~！
**************************************************************
幸福是，做想做的事，听你喜欢的歌，怀念最美的回忆，喝一杯幸福的饮料，听着六弦之歌，与温暖的人相知相惜~
:)
拜五就找dong，直接到星期日才回来
吃了snowflakes, subang murni 算是最大的“心愿”
两个人星期日去one u（不是看力宏去）
而是吃士林鸡，顺便觉得逛街最佳首选是one u
所以才去的
不好意思，好像很不给脸的感觉
我是不想阻碍交通，已经那么多人看了
就让力宏迷看得开心点
我就只要在经过时，看看那些“热情”的粉丝~
XD
很多人都说他本人超级帅~！
我就没眼福啦~
哈哈！
买了条裤子，蛮满意的
反正也很久没血拼了~
钱包有点出血
可是，很爽！！
XD
*两个人逛街的感觉很好！
******************************************************************
突然看回家的照片~
有东西要炫耀一下
有些东西，你们是妒嫉不了那么多的啦~
爸妈基因遗传~
我就是那么的可爱！！
哈哈哈！~
当时我是刚睡醒~
我叔叔都我笑的~
笑得很自然……
还有好几张
是连环照来的
笑到翻肚子的那种~
哈哈！！
真佩服我可以可爱到那种地步
；P
以后我的孩子应该还可以比我更可爱！
哈哈~
XD
这个呢~
是我在阿姨家旁拍的
很明显
我很害羞啦~
裙子都被我捉了起来~
XP
太~~~可爱了！！
哈哈！！
要看更多？
期待下一次啦~
这些绝对是超级无敌珍贵的照片！
ALL COPYRIGHT RESERVED~!
哈哈~！
**************************************************************
幸福是，做想做的事，听你喜欢的歌，怀念最美的回忆，喝一杯幸福的饮料，听着六弦之歌，与温暖的人相知相惜~
:)
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Thursday, August 19, 2010
emptiness
emptiness-
it's not the feeling of craving for sth..
it's that, when u find nothing can replace the emptiness of your heart..
sth very shallow inside u, but yet very deep to reach...
boresome hit me gao gao when the world stop spinning..
not that i don't know how to appreciate the people around me...
not that i don't appreciate that they are making jokes and funny stuff to amuse me...
but it's all about oneself...
something that is internal...
trying to do sth to satisfy myself, make me thinks that i'm useful...
ya, i guess the feeling is the feeling of uselessness...
i cant satisfy myself sometimes, i don't get to reach my expectation sometimes...
i know that there are moments that i need to slow down my pace to let myself get some rest...
but whenever i stop, i dont think i worth the rest, coz i've been resting all the while...
what's the point? rest doesn't cure the feeling inside me anyway...
not many that knows what i need and what i hope...
some compliment and encouragement keeps me moving on...
but how about the times when no one encourage me and i'm all alone?
still, i'm not tough enough??
* it's nice to hear one said :" girl, u have a nice warm hand, and a warm heart.."
though by that time, i'm touching a pair of cold hand...
the word "warm", just simply makes me feel that i've did sth! at least, i've send a temperature impulse to his brain~
it's not the feeling of craving for sth..
it's that, when u find nothing can replace the emptiness of your heart..
sth very shallow inside u, but yet very deep to reach...
boresome hit me gao gao when the world stop spinning..
not that i don't know how to appreciate the people around me...
not that i don't appreciate that they are making jokes and funny stuff to amuse me...
but it's all about oneself...
something that is internal...
trying to do sth to satisfy myself, make me thinks that i'm useful...
ya, i guess the feeling is the feeling of uselessness...
i cant satisfy myself sometimes, i don't get to reach my expectation sometimes...
i know that there are moments that i need to slow down my pace to let myself get some rest...
but whenever i stop, i dont think i worth the rest, coz i've been resting all the while...
what's the point? rest doesn't cure the feeling inside me anyway...
not many that knows what i need and what i hope...
some compliment and encouragement keeps me moving on...
but how about the times when no one encourage me and i'm all alone?
still, i'm not tough enough??
* it's nice to hear one said :" girl, u have a nice warm hand, and a warm heart.."
though by that time, i'm touching a pair of cold hand...
the word "warm", just simply makes me feel that i've did sth! at least, i've send a temperature impulse to his brain~
Monday, August 16, 2010
哥哥
王力宏-哥哥
你说你是哥哥我是弟
你要为我遮风挡住雨
再难的路也要在一起
一心找到人生的的路基
我有你这哥哥在心里
我要为你遮风挡住雨
想说的话永远说不清
手足的情
兄弟的心
哥
小时候一直问你
为什么你是哥我是弟
哥
你总是那样严厉
为什么爱我 从不放弃
哥
在风雨中看见你
为什么你始终没泪滴
哥
我要和你站在一起
我知道你也没大力气
*****************************************************************
小时候，也没想太多“哥哥”是什么意思
就是，嚷着嚷着~
玩的、闹得、吵的、都叫着“哥哥”~
我被爸爸妈妈抱在手腕的时候
我总是爱扯“哥哥”的头发
妈妈告诉我的，
恰巧还有一张照片正好拍着我拉着他的头发~哈哈
稍微大了一点，会跑会跳了
我常常就追着哥哥跑
哥哥也常常闹着我玩
我越哭，他们也更兴奋~XD
玩着玩着~
闹着闹着~
也不知道这些画面残留多少回忆在脑海
妈妈告诉我
后来哥哥到了上学的年纪
我因为不舍得哥哥
每天在哥哥坐在门口穿着校鞋准备要搭巴士的时候
我总是站在那里看着
尽管那时清晨，
我还是会起身看着哥哥上学去
后来的我，听说还向妈妈吵着说我也要上学呢！~
穿着深蓝色的校服时期
每当我被欺负时，
他会跳出来，撑我、罩着我
更吓唬那些欺负我的坏蛋男同学
让我觉得很神气！
所谓的神气，其实也只不过是一种被保护的安全感~
让我不再害怕
甚至拿哥哥来吓唬那些常常欺负我的同学
到了持身份证的年纪
我们变得爱吵架了
两三天内都会有哭喊的声音
骂来骂去、恶言相向……
像个冤家
互不忍让
后来的我们，随着长大后需要离家升学
哥哥离家了
家里，多了一些多余的沉寂
后来，
我也离家了~
慢慢的~慢慢的……
我慢慢明白，一家人要相处在一起，
能够聚在一起
并非一件自然容易的事
每次，能够有难得相聚，
总是含蓄的嘘寒问暖了几句
藏在心里深深地思念，
始终表达不出来
后来~
升大学了~
相聚的时间更难得了~
哥哥有要忙的事业
有要忙的课业
我们顿时变得有点陌生
有时遇到一些难题，还是会联系上哥哥
即使我已是二十来岁的成人，
哥哥还是一副大哥哥的样子
跳出来，指导我面对问题
好几次
他们的劝导
让我成长
直到现在，
才真正明白
哥哥
是什么样的一个角色
在我生命里带给我什么样的改变
跟哥哥的性格
尤其是二哥的性格太像
也因为这样，
最了解我的人，我哥也~！
哥哥
在我生命中，影响最大
在我心目中，他永远为我遮风挡雨
因为我知道，他总是为我好
不愿我靠近任何危险边界
不至于说疼我，但总是保护我
站在他旁边
就像在我心里打了支强心剂
我什么都不怕
而我也知道
我在他心中，不管年纪多少
我都只是他的妹妹
一个他需要呵护的妹妹
他常告诉我：
做兄妹，一生只有一次
就算你想要再来一次，也未必拥有那种机会
这种缘分要好好珍惜~！
从那一天他说出这句话
我就把他说的话放心底
因为，我看见，我们真的长大了
兄妹是永远有说不完的话
而我很感激
我们真的是无所不谈的-兄妹！
你说你是哥哥我是弟
你要为我遮风挡住雨
再难的路也要在一起
一心找到人生的的路基
我有你这哥哥在心里
我要为你遮风挡住雨
想说的话永远说不清
手足的情
兄弟的心
哥
小时候一直问你
为什么你是哥我是弟
哥
你总是那样严厉
为什么爱我 从不放弃
哥
在风雨中看见你
为什么你始终没泪滴
哥
我要和你站在一起
我知道你也没大力气
*****************************************************************
小时候，也没想太多“哥哥”是什么意思
就是，嚷着嚷着~
玩的、闹得、吵的、都叫着“哥哥”~
我被爸爸妈妈抱在手腕的时候
我总是爱扯“哥哥”的头发
妈妈告诉我的，
恰巧还有一张照片正好拍着我拉着他的头发~哈哈
稍微大了一点，会跑会跳了
我常常就追着哥哥跑
哥哥也常常闹着我玩
我越哭，他们也更兴奋~XD
玩着玩着~
闹着闹着~
也不知道这些画面残留多少回忆在脑海
妈妈告诉我
后来哥哥到了上学的年纪
我因为不舍得哥哥
每天在哥哥坐在门口穿着校鞋准备要搭巴士的时候
我总是站在那里看着
尽管那时清晨，
我还是会起身看着哥哥上学去
后来的我，听说还向妈妈吵着说我也要上学呢！~
穿着深蓝色的校服时期
每当我被欺负时，
他会跳出来，撑我、罩着我
更吓唬那些欺负我的坏蛋男同学
让我觉得很神气！
所谓的神气，其实也只不过是一种被保护的安全感~
让我不再害怕
甚至拿哥哥来吓唬那些常常欺负我的同学
到了持身份证的年纪
我们变得爱吵架了
两三天内都会有哭喊的声音
骂来骂去、恶言相向……
像个冤家
互不忍让
后来的我们，随着长大后需要离家升学
哥哥离家了
家里，多了一些多余的沉寂
后来，
我也离家了~
慢慢的~慢慢的……
我慢慢明白，一家人要相处在一起，
能够聚在一起
并非一件自然容易的事
每次，能够有难得相聚，
总是含蓄的嘘寒问暖了几句
藏在心里深深地思念，
始终表达不出来
后来~
升大学了~
相聚的时间更难得了~
哥哥有要忙的事业
有要忙的课业
我们顿时变得有点陌生
有时遇到一些难题，还是会联系上哥哥
即使我已是二十来岁的成人，
哥哥还是一副大哥哥的样子
跳出来，指导我面对问题
好几次
他们的劝导
让我成长
直到现在，
才真正明白
哥哥
是什么样的一个角色
在我生命里带给我什么样的改变
跟哥哥的性格
尤其是二哥的性格太像
也因为这样，
最了解我的人，我哥也~！
哥哥
在我生命中，影响最大
在我心目中，他永远为我遮风挡雨
因为我知道，他总是为我好
不愿我靠近任何危险边界
不至于说疼我，但总是保护我
站在他旁边
就像在我心里打了支强心剂
我什么都不怕
而我也知道
我在他心中，不管年纪多少
我都只是他的妹妹
一个他需要呵护的妹妹
他常告诉我：
做兄妹，一生只有一次
就算你想要再来一次，也未必拥有那种机会
这种缘分要好好珍惜~！
从那一天他说出这句话
我就把他说的话放心底
因为，我看见，我们真的长大了
兄妹是永远有说不完的话
而我很感激
我们真的是无所不谈的-兄妹！
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
52个白键，36个黑键的旋律
周末回家
我要好好地跟我的钢琴谈一谈恋爱、酿一酿陈旧的感情
好久好久
都没传输手心的热能跟汗水给它了
我想
它应该想我了吧
如果有一首能够代表我最近心情的歌
伴随我的高盐分的水分
我想我会慢慢的告诉它，
生活的谱章~
琴声
是最好的倾诉
我要好好地跟我的钢琴谈一谈恋爱、酿一酿陈旧的感情
好久好久
都没传输手心的热能跟汗水给它了
我想
它应该想我了吧
如果有一首能够代表我最近心情的歌
伴随我的高盐分的水分
我想我会慢慢的告诉它，
生活的谱章~
琴声
是最好的倾诉
真人假人
看见那些在超级市场的假人
在一堆“真人”里
还真的以假乱真
真真假假
我已弄不清楚
假人假人~
你们弄得我好乱~
假人假人~
在面具下，你们到底在想什么？
假人假人~
你们的衣着华丽，内心会不会也能衬托外表的高尚？
假人假人~
几时几时？ 几时几时你们才会觉得累?想要歇息歇息？
假人假人~
可悲的你们
活在真人的影子里
永远围着完美的真人团团转~
原本已没什么尊严的你们
在真人的眼里，更鄙视你们
假人啊~假人~
醒醒吧~
在真人的眼里
瞬间也许分不出真假
但真人与假人的分别是，
真人有长脑袋，
认真一看！
假人还是仿效不到真人
逃不过真人辨别
没用的掩眼法
永远也只是假人~
可悲的假人~
完全没生存的意义.
在一堆“真人”里
还真的以假乱真
真真假假
我已弄不清楚
假人假人~
你们弄得我好乱~
假人假人~
在面具下，你们到底在想什么？
假人假人~
你们的衣着华丽，内心会不会也能衬托外表的高尚？
假人假人~
几时几时？ 几时几时你们才会觉得累?想要歇息歇息？
假人假人~
可悲的你们
活在真人的影子里
永远围着完美的真人团团转~
原本已没什么尊严的你们
在真人的眼里，更鄙视你们
假人啊~假人~
醒醒吧~
在真人的眼里
瞬间也许分不出真假
但真人与假人的分别是，
真人有长脑袋，
认真一看！
假人还是仿效不到真人
逃不过真人辨别
没用的掩眼法
永远也只是假人~
可悲的假人~
完全没生存的意义.
a nice break..
watched Sorcerer's apprentice today with jessie..
which was a plan spontaneously after our class...
had fun and nice evening with non-rushing small shopping while waiting for the movie time..
(though at first we checked from the net, it suppose gt one show on 410pm, that's why we rushed out on 345pm to get the show, but ended up the show was 545pm)
jessie bought a perfume, the nice part was that both of us testing the smell of the perfume...
now only i found out why people say choosing perfume is troublesome coz when it's too many different types, different brands of perfumes in front of u, u take each of them and test the smell, at the end, u will confused with the favour smell...
coz at the end, it will all smell the same! - bad smell! lolz..
some of the smell was totally making me faint..
but at the end, we managed to get one la..=)
a nice experience anyway...XD
ended up two gals full with different smells walking in the shopping complex...lolz..
Sorcerer is a nice movie, which i think is better than SALT..
i know i sound a bit outdated...>_<||
haha! nicholas cage's simply too yeng even with the old shoes and messy hairs...
the metal eagle and bull and the ferrari and lamborghini if not mistaken were a bonus to the movie...
the moral value of the story: trust that u can make it, though maybe at first everything seems not possible to u...coz when u think it's not possible, u're not gonna to make it in life time... you yourself don't even want to believe in urself, then what's the point of people have trust in you?
IMPOSSIBLE??? better make it IM-POSSIBLE~!
nothing is impossible . impossible is nothing~!
which was a plan spontaneously after our class...
had fun and nice evening with non-rushing small shopping while waiting for the movie time..
(though at first we checked from the net, it suppose gt one show on 410pm, that's why we rushed out on 345pm to get the show, but ended up the show was 545pm)
jessie bought a perfume, the nice part was that both of us testing the smell of the perfume...
now only i found out why people say choosing perfume is troublesome coz when it's too many different types, different brands of perfumes in front of u, u take each of them and test the smell, at the end, u will confused with the favour smell...
coz at the end, it will all smell the same! - bad smell! lolz..
some of the smell was totally making me faint..
but at the end, we managed to get one la..=)
a nice experience anyway...XD
ended up two gals full with different smells walking in the shopping complex...lolz..
Sorcerer is a nice movie, which i think is better than SALT..
i know i sound a bit outdated...>_<||
haha! nicholas cage's simply too yeng even with the old shoes and messy hairs...
the metal eagle and bull and the ferrari and lamborghini if not mistaken were a bonus to the movie...
the moral value of the story: trust that u can make it, though maybe at first everything seems not possible to u...coz when u think it's not possible, u're not gonna to make it in life time... you yourself don't even want to believe in urself, then what's the point of people have trust in you?
IMPOSSIBLE??? better make it IM-POSSIBLE~!
nothing is impossible . impossible is nothing~!
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
what a day of having a mouth but cant communicate!!
talked to a patient who's deaf...
a very nice experience i've gained...
we first approached her and tried to intro ourselves to her as usual...
but she just stopped us by taking few pieces of paper and started to write...
i was wondering what's she doing...
and she started her first sentence on the paper with : i'm deaf!
and she double underlined it...
surprisingly, she's not upset or in a =( face...
she's smiling sweetly toward us...
and she started to ask us : what's the matter?
suen and i stopped the conversation when one of the H.O asked us to clerk a patient just in front of us that time while we were communicationg to the girl...
and again, surprisingly, the aunty can't talk too...
not because of she has speech problem...but she's semi-conscious with nasal prong helping her to breath...
obviously she has difficulty in breathing...we cant ask open-ended question since she cant even speak and just keep nodding head and shaking head...+ with the eyes closing...(we were wondering is she actually sleeping?)
we were forced to ask closed ended question by asking her to respond by nod head or shake the head if the answer is yes or no respectively...
she once a while opened her eye and looked at us...
i was struggling to ask for the actual answer and make sure she's actually responding and not simply nodding head...
ask again and again... i was a bit exhausted instead of frustrated...
the H.O cant get history and any info from her... i wonder if she continues to be like this, who can get the details from her then?
anyhow, at last, we reluctantly gave up and told the H.O what we got from the "conversation".
then we back to the deaf girl...
my colleague were talking to her...
then i started to notice that she gt one plaster on her left wrist...
one thinking hit my mind-- is she commited suicide?
and i asked my colleague to ask her where and how she got the wound...
and she wrote : trying to kill myself...
we were a bit stunned...
and they decided to stop the conversation and wanna BE-LAH alr..
but i still felt like talking to her...
and i again tried to approach her...
she's totally opposite of one that just committed suicide..
the smile at her face make us feel that she's very cheerful...
i dare myself to ask direct question on why she attempted to end her life...
she replied with quite long saying that she was having a big prob but she promised not to do it anymore...she claimed that she will moved to US to know more about deaf ppl and start her new life over there..
though the main reason of what causing her to hurt herself was not known, but from the conversation, at least, she kinda promise not to repeat it anymore which make me feel happy for her...
at last, due to scare of disturb her or make her recall of the pain, i tried to give her some courage and told her not to hurt herself anymore..not dare to say hurting herself is a stupid act, but i tried to send her a message of everyone around her loves her...
until she finished reading it, i waved my hand and said goodbye, with shaking her hand, wished her all the best and enjoy life at US...
step out away from the bedside, i felt satisfied of one's life has been saved though once it's nearly come to the end...
sincerely wishing her to have a new life there...
and then i realised, morning that time, before these two cases, i've met a chinese old lady who's really weak and nearly fell down when she went to the toilet, who also have communicating problem with us...
not because of she cant speak, not because of she's not conscious, but due to language barrier...
poh poh actually cant speak chinese and the only language she knows is hakka!! haha...
suen even tried to call her aunty to ask how to speak hakka..simple simple like :"why u were admitted to hosp?"
and it turn out to be very funny of two gals who dunno speak hakka trying to speak like a chicken, keep on " ni jor ma gai yip yi yuan??"
"the word "mao" is the best word to add on the last of the sentence to make ppl understand the whole sentence", according to suen....hahahaha!!!
what the.... end up "mao mao mao " there...
damn funny that i actually laugh while we talked to the patient...
but she's too weak to talk more with us...
then ended up, we left without much conversation...
what a day with a proper mouth, but cant communicate well!!
language barrier, not conscious makes ur mouth shut! lolz....
a very nice experience i've gained...
we first approached her and tried to intro ourselves to her as usual...
but she just stopped us by taking few pieces of paper and started to write...
i was wondering what's she doing...
and she started her first sentence on the paper with : i'm deaf!
and she double underlined it...
surprisingly, she's not upset or in a =( face...
she's smiling sweetly toward us...
and she started to ask us : what's the matter?
suen and i stopped the conversation when one of the H.O asked us to clerk a patient just in front of us that time while we were communicationg to the girl...
and again, surprisingly, the aunty can't talk too...
not because of she has speech problem...but she's semi-conscious with nasal prong helping her to breath...
obviously she has difficulty in breathing...we cant ask open-ended question since she cant even speak and just keep nodding head and shaking head...+ with the eyes closing...(we were wondering is she actually sleeping?)
we were forced to ask closed ended question by asking her to respond by nod head or shake the head if the answer is yes or no respectively...
she once a while opened her eye and looked at us...
i was struggling to ask for the actual answer and make sure she's actually responding and not simply nodding head...
ask again and again... i was a bit exhausted instead of frustrated...
the H.O cant get history and any info from her... i wonder if she continues to be like this, who can get the details from her then?
anyhow, at last, we reluctantly gave up and told the H.O what we got from the "conversation".
then we back to the deaf girl...
my colleague were talking to her...
then i started to notice that she gt one plaster on her left wrist...
one thinking hit my mind-- is she commited suicide?
and i asked my colleague to ask her where and how she got the wound...
and she wrote : trying to kill myself...
we were a bit stunned...
and they decided to stop the conversation and wanna BE-LAH alr..
but i still felt like talking to her...
and i again tried to approach her...
she's totally opposite of one that just committed suicide..
the smile at her face make us feel that she's very cheerful...
i dare myself to ask direct question on why she attempted to end her life...
she replied with quite long saying that she was having a big prob but she promised not to do it anymore...she claimed that she will moved to US to know more about deaf ppl and start her new life over there..
though the main reason of what causing her to hurt herself was not known, but from the conversation, at least, she kinda promise not to repeat it anymore which make me feel happy for her...
at last, due to scare of disturb her or make her recall of the pain, i tried to give her some courage and told her not to hurt herself anymore..not dare to say hurting herself is a stupid act, but i tried to send her a message of everyone around her loves her...
until she finished reading it, i waved my hand and said goodbye, with shaking her hand, wished her all the best and enjoy life at US...
step out away from the bedside, i felt satisfied of one's life has been saved though once it's nearly come to the end...
sincerely wishing her to have a new life there...
and then i realised, morning that time, before these two cases, i've met a chinese old lady who's really weak and nearly fell down when she went to the toilet, who also have communicating problem with us...
not because of she cant speak, not because of she's not conscious, but due to language barrier...
poh poh actually cant speak chinese and the only language she knows is hakka!! haha...
suen even tried to call her aunty to ask how to speak hakka..simple simple like :"why u were admitted to hosp?"
and it turn out to be very funny of two gals who dunno speak hakka trying to speak like a chicken, keep on " ni jor ma gai yip yi yuan??"
"the word "mao" is the best word to add on the last of the sentence to make ppl understand the whole sentence", according to suen....hahahaha!!!
what the.... end up "mao mao mao " there...
damn funny that i actually laugh while we talked to the patient...
but she's too weak to talk more with us...
then ended up, we left without much conversation...
what a day with a proper mouth, but cant communicate well!!
language barrier, not conscious makes ur mouth shut! lolz....
Friday, August 6, 2010
一个人的体验
原来你的沉淀，我会难过
原来你的退出，我会落寞
也许太习惯你沉默的守候
在你离开后，转身才发现，我会不习惯没有你的温度
我，深深地感觉到，我是一个人
我没埋怨你的离开
甚至鼓励你的去向
只是
我没发觉，原来我也会不习惯一个人
原来· · 是你·· 让我觉得不孤单
现在才觉悟，会不会有点晚？
但更令我伤心的是，
你会守护我，真的只是非一般的朋友关系
而我太单纯的以为··· 就算是朋友,你还是会好好的···好好的···在那里
现在，我的生活
让我慢慢地体验“爱”的定义
以前的我以为自己的成熟度对“爱”的了解应该算是满完美了
可是，对于不同的环境带来的试练，
“爱”因此升华了···
一幕幕··· 引进眼帘的···
好几次，让我看了深深被感动
什么是爱？
看到他们的坚持
他们的泪水，他们日夜的守候
他们所付出的，他们努力的
汗水、耐心、忍耐、执着、奋斗到最后的精神
不需显微镜，很清楚，都是爱的表现
白色袍的力量，不是一般的职业精神
它
让我看到的，像是一双散播爱的天使的翅膀
穿着它的每一个人，都努力的给那些无助的灵魂一些力量
爱是什么？
爱不是词句能形容的
付出你的爱，你才会感受到它的存在
爱，不喜欢与泪水共同庆贺
所以
如果你爱你身边的每一个人
不要让他们为你流泪
照顾好自己的身体
不要因为你对你自己身体的不负责任
造成要爱你的人为你心疼
如果你珍惜他们对你的爱···
你就应该尽可能，都要让自己过得好好的
看过这么样的例子：
1- 一个老婆婆，肺积水，因为肾坏掉的关系，需要洗肾，医生巡房时，她问医生那里可以便宜的洗肾？
医生告诉她，她的状况最好是到私人部门去洗会比较好，
婆婆说：“我的女儿都嫁了，她们各有各的家要负担……”
医：“婆婆，你有七个孩子，你可以一个人养大七个孩子，现在七个孩子养不起一个妈妈啊？你以前很有钱么？你养的起他们，他们现在七个养不起你一个？婆婆，没天理啦！婆婆，你不要再有旧的思想啦，什么女儿嫁出去就不是你的女儿了吗？那些思想全部是错的！”
婆婆被医生骂得头头是道，骂得无言了，我有种很想跳起来叫好的感觉，医生简直骂得太好了！我不是赞成婆婆被骂，而是医生刚刚说的一番话太有道理了！
很帅的医生吩咐实习医生通知所有的儿女来见他，他说他要跟他们谈……
到最后婆婆自己也默默地说“医生，你真的很好人！”
太帅了！！！
2- 一个家庭主妇，相信是中风嫌疑被送进院。
她的医药背景很特别，是有产后忧郁症，忧郁症后，根据老公说是变得不爱说话了，每天都睡很多。
感人的一幕是：早上，老公来探望了。老婆哭得很伤心，是挽着老公的颈项伤心的拉着老公的手。听见这番对话：
男：“ngm hou ham a...lou gong ngm zhong yi tai dou lei ham ga....”
"lei mou ham ga, ji ngm ji a? hou fan ngo dei zao fan ngok kei lo, hou ngm hou?"
"lei guai guai dei hai dou yao sek, lou gong dan zhan lei tai lei, fong gou ji hao lei tai lei, hou ngm hou?"
心对心的谈话，听到的人，我想都有种心软的感觉
不做作的对白。
让我看见的，是来自爱的力量。
我想，她，是幸福的女人~
祝福她，早日出院，重回她挚爱的身旁……
原来你的退出，我会落寞
也许太习惯你沉默的守候
在你离开后，转身才发现，我会不习惯没有你的温度
我，深深地感觉到，我是一个人
我没埋怨你的离开
甚至鼓励你的去向
只是
我没发觉，原来我也会不习惯一个人
原来· · 是你·· 让我觉得不孤单
现在才觉悟，会不会有点晚？
但更令我伤心的是，
你会守护我，真的只是非一般的朋友关系
而我太单纯的以为··· 就算是朋友,你还是会好好的···好好的···在那里
现在，我的生活
让我慢慢地体验“爱”的定义
以前的我以为自己的成熟度对“爱”的了解应该算是满完美了
可是，对于不同的环境带来的试练，
“爱”因此升华了···
一幕幕··· 引进眼帘的···
好几次，让我看了深深被感动
什么是爱？
看到他们的坚持
他们的泪水，他们日夜的守候
他们所付出的，他们努力的
汗水、耐心、忍耐、执着、奋斗到最后的精神
不需显微镜，很清楚，都是爱的表现
白色袍的力量，不是一般的职业精神
它
让我看到的，像是一双散播爱的天使的翅膀
穿着它的每一个人，都努力的给那些无助的灵魂一些力量
爱是什么？
爱不是词句能形容的
付出你的爱，你才会感受到它的存在
爱，不喜欢与泪水共同庆贺
所以
如果你爱你身边的每一个人
不要让他们为你流泪
照顾好自己的身体
不要因为你对你自己身体的不负责任
造成要爱你的人为你心疼
如果你珍惜他们对你的爱···
你就应该尽可能，都要让自己过得好好的
看过这么样的例子：
1- 一个老婆婆，肺积水，因为肾坏掉的关系，需要洗肾，医生巡房时，她问医生那里可以便宜的洗肾？
医生告诉她，她的状况最好是到私人部门去洗会比较好，
婆婆说：“我的女儿都嫁了，她们各有各的家要负担……”
医：“婆婆，你有七个孩子，你可以一个人养大七个孩子，现在七个孩子养不起一个妈妈啊？你以前很有钱么？你养的起他们，他们现在七个养不起你一个？婆婆，没天理啦！婆婆，你不要再有旧的思想啦，什么女儿嫁出去就不是你的女儿了吗？那些思想全部是错的！”
婆婆被医生骂得头头是道，骂得无言了，我有种很想跳起来叫好的感觉，医生简直骂得太好了！我不是赞成婆婆被骂，而是医生刚刚说的一番话太有道理了！
很帅的医生吩咐实习医生通知所有的儿女来见他，他说他要跟他们谈……
到最后婆婆自己也默默地说“医生，你真的很好人！”
太帅了！！！
2- 一个家庭主妇，相信是中风嫌疑被送进院。
她的医药背景很特别，是有产后忧郁症，忧郁症后，根据老公说是变得不爱说话了，每天都睡很多。
感人的一幕是：早上，老公来探望了。老婆哭得很伤心，是挽着老公的颈项伤心的拉着老公的手。听见这番对话：
男：“ngm hou ham a...lou gong ngm zhong yi tai dou lei ham ga....”
"lei mou ham ga, ji ngm ji a? hou fan ngo dei zao fan ngok kei lo, hou ngm hou?"
"lei guai guai dei hai dou yao sek, lou gong dan zhan lei tai lei, fong gou ji hao lei tai lei, hou ngm hou?"
心对心的谈话，听到的人，我想都有种心软的感觉
不做作的对白。
让我看见的，是来自爱的力量。
我想，她，是幸福的女人~
祝福她，早日出院，重回她挚爱的身旁……
Sunday, August 1, 2010
我
我是个很平静的人
没有什么特别的理由
我就只想静静的活着（与我的挚爱）
我可以很平静的对每件事都微笑着
对陌生人，我不会有太多的意见
幸福与快乐，我自有我的方法与我身边的人分享
我有我的原则
虽不能说是件好事
但我就是一个这样的人
与我相处其实也没必要有太多的拘束
只需要尊重我
至少……尊重我的存在
尊重我重视的东西
你将得到我相同的重视
要说我小气也罢
我只会当这一切是我的原则
再怎么说，难道每个人不能拥有自己的情绪？
所以也请尊重我也是一个人
我会有情绪
遇到我反感生气的事
我还是会做出常人的反应
我会发小脾气，我会闹
因为我只是一个人
我不是绝种好人
我不是没有脾气的人
如果我的情绪起伏造成你的反感
或者让你觉得很错懊或失望于我的表现
我也只能说：
不好意思，
你不是很了解我
在我哭诉、埋怨时
如果你不明白我的眼泪
就请你默不作声
总好过擅自决定我泪水存在的意义
我的感受不需要你来怜悯
当然也不需要你来同情
如果你愿意倾听我眼泪的控诉
我很感激
真正认识我的人
不是仅是了解我的优点
而是他更明白我所有缺点的由来
只是我怀疑
了解我后的你
会不会因为我的不完美而选择离开……
没有什么特别的理由
我就只想静静的活着（与我的挚爱）
我可以很平静的对每件事都微笑着
对陌生人，我不会有太多的意见
幸福与快乐，我自有我的方法与我身边的人分享
我有我的原则
虽不能说是件好事
但我就是一个这样的人
与我相处其实也没必要有太多的拘束
只需要尊重我
至少……尊重我的存在
尊重我重视的东西
你将得到我相同的重视
要说我小气也罢
我只会当这一切是我的原则
再怎么说，难道每个人不能拥有自己的情绪？
所以也请尊重我也是一个人
我会有情绪
遇到我反感生气的事
我还是会做出常人的反应
我会发小脾气，我会闹
因为我只是一个人
我不是绝种好人
我不是没有脾气的人
如果我的情绪起伏造成你的反感
或者让你觉得很错懊或失望于我的表现
我也只能说：
不好意思，
你不是很了解我
在我哭诉、埋怨时
如果你不明白我的眼泪
就请你默不作声
总好过擅自决定我泪水存在的意义
我的感受不需要你来怜悯
当然也不需要你来同情
如果你愿意倾听我眼泪的控诉
我很感激
真正认识我的人
不是仅是了解我的优点
而是他更明白我所有缺点的由来
只是我怀疑
了解我后的你
会不会因为我的不完美而选择离开……
Friday, July 30, 2010
Black friday...
i'm now with a heavy mood...
black friday!
actually it's quite moody since wednesday...
since many things seems troubling me...
many things not decided yet..
i dunno wat to do...
plus quite some days alr i've been slacking all the day at hosp..
not that i din approach patients, but those patients keep on rejecting to be clerked especially today...moody friday...
since morning i woke up early as usual, i with my housemate, we went to hosp early...
but keep on being rejected...else, the patients family were there and one of the patient's son is actually a medical students too...we basically dont need to ask anything and the son will tell us every history we want...how sweat it is..
long case long case...i was actually looking for it...
but somehow, it's friday~what senior told us before is true...friday usually wont have much new case in...and the environment in hosp will be very moody...
and usually they will go back earlier compare other weekdays...
FRIDAY = patients were clerked before(monday, tuesday, W, T, F) and they refused to be asked so many questions and somemore wanna palpate lagi.most of them in pain lagi..who wants to repeat so many times with the same questions same answer and same being asked to do the same thing...."tarik nafas macik~, tark~~" "boleh mengiring sana ka pakcik??" "pakcik ada sakit mana mana lagi tak?"...etc...
=_='' stupid!
that's why, i dun get any long case for whole day..
it's actually many days alr..i'm not practising my PE enough...
haiz....
slacking for whole week..
=_=''
scold me! i dun mind..
haiz....
somemore today the main thing i call it a BLACK friday is bcoz ....
i witnessed a patient died after bout 45 mins resuscitation...
the heart rate was up and down several times...
the lowest was 30 sth and then being resuscitated , up again...gone tachycardia 130 the highest and fall and up and fall again...
first time see H.O M.O doing CPR...the malay H.O somemore climbed up the bed and resuscitate the patient which make me thinks she's really cool coz the way she do it is just like "I'M GONNA SAVE U!"
and then the MO come, surprisingly he's quite big in size, and i think that's the reason why he can actually resuscitate with ONE HAND! man~ lol...geng! somemore can talk while doing resuscitate...
adrenaline being boost for several times i think..
actually another thing to mention is that while the CPR was performed, the whole bed was actually shaking, and the patient stomach was like a balloon filling with lots of water being squeeze....u can imagine that?
after being chase out, i still peeped for the heart rate and ecg machine..though the MO stared at us very fiercely several times...and a nurse actually tease us said" cuma tengok saja ka? tak tau tolong?" with that face expression u can actually feel very bad la...but end up we gt helped to bagging ...
after a while...
at the end , the ecg showed no changes with a straight flat line...
not as the drama shown...gt the beep sound, i think somehow they mute it alr..
or else, the environment will become very heavy...
that time was about 14.00 and it was friday, 30th july 2010
the MO then went to the family...and few minutes later, one of the family member cry loudly in the hosp.............
sympathy...
"life is short, appreciate now"
we used to this sentence...
but how many of us are really appreciating their lives?
some just put their lives under risks...
do some stupid things to burn their lives off...how stupid it is!
ppl in the hosp all struggling to live even just for one more minute...
but still gt brainless ppl smoke to burn their life shorter at the same time burn the damn cigarretes which then the ppl around them will suffer secondhand smokes..
i always have one kind of thinking in my mind,
"if everyone knows how to loves their lives and love the one around them, kan apa apa pasal pun takda?"
where comes the war? where comes the fighting? where comes the hospitalisation?
everyone lives happily with each other~ lives in harmony ~
ok, i know i'm talking childish...
the world is not a fairy tale~
last thing to add on, dun judge me if u dunno me well...
dun say me garang if u dunno wat's happening actually...
dun ask me " don't be like that" if u dunno wat happened to me actually... coz it actually hurts..
i will very appreciate it if u stand on my shoe and think of my situation...thanks!
(who dun wan to be a better person? who wish to say sth bad and makes ppl feel bad on u? esp being a christian somemore...)
p/s: cant really adapt to the changes in environment after enter clinical year...
everything just change! and u have to realise one by one that what's actually no longer the same anymore...
black friday!
actually it's quite moody since wednesday...
since many things seems troubling me...
many things not decided yet..
i dunno wat to do...
plus quite some days alr i've been slacking all the day at hosp..
not that i din approach patients, but those patients keep on rejecting to be clerked especially today...moody friday...
since morning i woke up early as usual, i with my housemate, we went to hosp early...
but keep on being rejected...else, the patients family were there and one of the patient's son is actually a medical students too...we basically dont need to ask anything and the son will tell us every history we want...how sweat it is..
long case long case...i was actually looking for it...
but somehow, it's friday~what senior told us before is true...friday usually wont have much new case in...and the environment in hosp will be very moody...
and usually they will go back earlier compare other weekdays...
FRIDAY = patients were clerked before(monday, tuesday, W, T, F) and they refused to be asked so many questions and somemore wanna palpate lagi.most of them in pain lagi..who wants to repeat so many times with the same questions same answer and same being asked to do the same thing...."tarik nafas macik~, tark~~" "boleh mengiring sana ka pakcik??" "pakcik ada sakit mana mana lagi tak?"...etc...
=_='' stupid!
that's why, i dun get any long case for whole day..
it's actually many days alr..i'm not practising my PE enough...
haiz....
slacking for whole week..
=_=''
scold me! i dun mind..
haiz....
somemore today the main thing i call it a BLACK friday is bcoz ....
i witnessed a patient died after bout 45 mins resuscitation...
the heart rate was up and down several times...
the lowest was 30 sth and then being resuscitated , up again...gone tachycardia 130 the highest and fall and up and fall again...
first time see H.O M.O doing CPR...the malay H.O somemore climbed up the bed and resuscitate the patient which make me thinks she's really cool coz the way she do it is just like "I'M GONNA SAVE U!"
and then the MO come, surprisingly he's quite big in size, and i think that's the reason why he can actually resuscitate with ONE HAND! man~ lol...geng! somemore can talk while doing resuscitate...
adrenaline being boost for several times i think..
actually another thing to mention is that while the CPR was performed, the whole bed was actually shaking, and the patient stomach was like a balloon filling with lots of water being squeeze....u can imagine that?
after being chase out, i still peeped for the heart rate and ecg machine..though the MO stared at us very fiercely several times...and a nurse actually tease us said" cuma tengok saja ka? tak tau tolong?" with that face expression u can actually feel very bad la...but end up we gt helped to bagging ...
after a while...
at the end , the ecg showed no changes with a straight flat line...
not as the drama shown...gt the beep sound, i think somehow they mute it alr..
or else, the environment will become very heavy...
that time was about 14.00 and it was friday, 30th july 2010
the MO then went to the family...and few minutes later, one of the family member cry loudly in the hosp.............
sympathy...
"life is short, appreciate now"
we used to this sentence...
but how many of us are really appreciating their lives?
some just put their lives under risks...
do some stupid things to burn their lives off...how stupid it is!
ppl in the hosp all struggling to live even just for one more minute...
but still gt brainless ppl smoke to burn their life shorter at the same time burn the damn cigarretes which then the ppl around them will suffer secondhand smokes..
i always have one kind of thinking in my mind,
"if everyone knows how to loves their lives and love the one around them, kan apa apa pasal pun takda?"
where comes the war? where comes the fighting? where comes the hospitalisation?
everyone lives happily with each other~ lives in harmony ~
ok, i know i'm talking childish...
the world is not a fairy tale~
last thing to add on, dun judge me if u dunno me well...
dun say me garang if u dunno wat's happening actually...
dun ask me " don't be like that" if u dunno wat happened to me actually... coz it actually hurts..
i will very appreciate it if u stand on my shoe and think of my situation...thanks!
(who dun wan to be a better person? who wish to say sth bad and makes ppl feel bad on u? esp being a christian somemore...)
p/s: cant really adapt to the changes in environment after enter clinical year...
everything just change! and u have to realise one by one that what's actually no longer the same anymore...
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
my regards
looking back those photos taken long time ago, i deeply realised that some of the times that we spent last time...we can never chase it back anymore..
time passed and everything change...ppl changed....
u should know and believes that i do appreciate ppl around me...
i appreciate the memories that created...
but the memories are with no regrets ONLY IF now everyone still stay together and share our feelings and prob...
unfortunately, ppl leave, and ppl changed, memories are just to recall the time that we'd spent together...we just can recall some sweet feeling inside us without sharing the same memories nw...
what we can do is just continue our lives and create memories with others...but the road we take is no longer the same...i mourn over the splitting of the pathway that we gonna take...
u are once my best friend...(i mean a few of u)
i like to laugh with u guys..and do some crazy things together...
one thing to raise up here, which deep inside me long time ago...a question for everyone:
why do ppl changed when they faced stress or condition benefits them? i guess no one will like to do sth that would make ppl feel disgusting over them unless they dun realise it or they don't know or sadly to say, they might be doing it in purpose coz they know it will benefits them...
stress doensnt mean anything actually if u treat it lightly...take it easy...
coz i bet once in the future u look back on ur life, u will realised that u've missed and lost so many precious things last time ... it's not worth it to trade ur precious friends and relationships etc (those u couldnt buy in cash) with ur measly pride and selfish behaviour... ur self esteem doesnt gets higher coz of this...
i do need u all to encourage me whenever i feel down...
coz i realised there're times that i'm weak...and i need help...
don't ever doubt over ur power of influencing me..
u can make a change at me..
slap me to wake me up if i'm in deep mistake...
life's in hazy and unclear...
age that can easily lost ourselves..
we need more faith and care ~
do show ur love!
dear friends,
my best regards
cheahyin :)
time passed and everything change...ppl changed....
u should know and believes that i do appreciate ppl around me...
i appreciate the memories that created...
but the memories are with no regrets ONLY IF now everyone still stay together and share our feelings and prob...
unfortunately, ppl leave, and ppl changed, memories are just to recall the time that we'd spent together...we just can recall some sweet feeling inside us without sharing the same memories nw...
what we can do is just continue our lives and create memories with others...but the road we take is no longer the same...i mourn over the splitting of the pathway that we gonna take...
u are once my best friend...(i mean a few of u)
i like to laugh with u guys..and do some crazy things together...
one thing to raise up here, which deep inside me long time ago...a question for everyone:
why do ppl changed when they faced stress or condition benefits them? i guess no one will like to do sth that would make ppl feel disgusting over them unless they dun realise it or they don't know or sadly to say, they might be doing it in purpose coz they know it will benefits them...
stress doensnt mean anything actually if u treat it lightly...take it easy...
coz i bet once in the future u look back on ur life, u will realised that u've missed and lost so many precious things last time ... it's not worth it to trade ur precious friends and relationships etc (those u couldnt buy in cash) with ur measly pride and selfish behaviour... ur self esteem doesnt gets higher coz of this...
i do need u all to encourage me whenever i feel down...
coz i realised there're times that i'm weak...and i need help...
don't ever doubt over ur power of influencing me..
u can make a change at me..
slap me to wake me up if i'm in deep mistake...
life's in hazy and unclear...
age that can easily lost ourselves..
we need more faith and care ~
do show ur love!
dear friends,
my best regards
cheahyin :)
Monday, July 26, 2010
boring update of mine...
after entering clinical life...
it's not easy...
1stly to say is i've halfly quit playing msn chatting, skype and facebook...
but due to mobile digi can access facebook without charge, that's why u guys can still see me online updating my latest status...
was not in best shape recently...
i realised that once enter clinical year...
it's not that the study method is different, u have to learn how to communicate with patients, and also u need to see the mood of those M.O and H.O...
if the previous night they get enough sleep, and those patients are all okay, not really critic, and they're not busy then u get the chance to talk to them and ask them to teach u, maybe show inserting cannula and teaching u the simple procedures like ecg, and those kind of "sup sup sui" things...(since i'm still a child in clinical experiences, that's what we're learning...)
most of the time we're clerking the patient in two, i with my groupmate, mainly Julia, we'll go by two, approaching patients and try to talk to them..
and only i realised, it's hard to take the 1st step to talk to the patient, esp those suffer in pain and show a big :( , and some are really like in multiple chest tube, and all the instruments are with them, those we actually din go and approach coz most of these patients are really in chronic stage and kesian them, dun la go kacau wey...let them sleep~~:)
now the main prob with me is, i have to polish up my basic physical examination, try to talk fluent in eng as it's important during care presentation, and so sorry to say, my eng is really SXCKS!
the other thing is, learn how to communicate and live well with my colleagues, coz frankly saying, and daring to say, actually many alr start complaining each other alr...due to? u will know if u're a medical students i think...heheh...else wanna knw just give me a call and i will tell...haha
for me it's not worthy to gaduh gaduh over small small things la...though i oso experience those kind of prob few times when sem starts, but honestly, i'd forgive and forget...everyone needs to pass through all this prob...it's just the matter of time...so, just take it easy la..:)
as long as i gt my friends, my beloved family, and my colleagues supporting me always then i'm fine (after merajuk for some times la of course..)haha...
but last weekend was really a bad weekend for me, i wonder bad luck had chosen my way...
damn me for i'm stupid ke po...that's y i get scolded without a proper reason, and it's not my fault either way..
one or two is enough, i still can bear with it...claim myself bad luck then...but bunch (exaggerating) of ppl treat that i'm a lepas geram tong!! wat the...spoilt my weekend mood...
if i know it earlier, i would rather choose to stay at hostel (though i might be quite emo over too boring) than going out but being qi kek...
i appreciate that at least when i was down, still there are some human be there for me to let me complain to...being very grateful that i found my IC back two days after i lost it...my fault too coz i din check though the blood test counter gal din return to me...learn a lesson*
miss those time when we spent together badly...
realised that some of the things when u lost it, u cant find it back anymore...
relationship is actually maintained both sides, once lost the other side, u cant really chase anything back...
i'm pretty quite sad over some of the friends who stay far away from me, they cant really get to me when i'm down. when i seriously need them...but somehow, i know i've to think in the way that " they are still my friend, just matter of distance, they're actually be my side"...
sometimes, it's actually cheating myself of this kind of thoughts...coz somehow when we're down, we still need a few words of comfort from the important one...that;s how my sadness, emo emo things go away...
anyhow, cant really online coz i cant access internet in my room...that's y u guys wont see me around at msn like last time most of the time...
k la...till here first, time to go ward again...
see ya~
pray for my wisdom and health to strive through these clinical years stuff all the way...
best of luck! ciao~
it's not easy...
1stly to say is i've halfly quit playing msn chatting, skype and facebook...
but due to mobile digi can access facebook without charge, that's why u guys can still see me online updating my latest status...
was not in best shape recently...
i realised that once enter clinical year...
it's not that the study method is different, u have to learn how to communicate with patients, and also u need to see the mood of those M.O and H.O...
if the previous night they get enough sleep, and those patients are all okay, not really critic, and they're not busy then u get the chance to talk to them and ask them to teach u, maybe show inserting cannula and teaching u the simple procedures like ecg, and those kind of "sup sup sui" things...(since i'm still a child in clinical experiences, that's what we're learning...)
most of the time we're clerking the patient in two, i with my groupmate, mainly Julia, we'll go by two, approaching patients and try to talk to them..
and only i realised, it's hard to take the 1st step to talk to the patient, esp those suffer in pain and show a big :( , and some are really like in multiple chest tube, and all the instruments are with them, those we actually din go and approach coz most of these patients are really in chronic stage and kesian them, dun la go kacau wey...let them sleep~~:)
now the main prob with me is, i have to polish up my basic physical examination, try to talk fluent in eng as it's important during care presentation, and so sorry to say, my eng is really SXCKS!
the other thing is, learn how to communicate and live well with my colleagues, coz frankly saying, and daring to say, actually many alr start complaining each other alr...due to? u will know if u're a medical students i think...heheh...else wanna knw just give me a call and i will tell...haha
for me it's not worthy to gaduh gaduh over small small things la...though i oso experience those kind of prob few times when sem starts, but honestly, i'd forgive and forget...everyone needs to pass through all this prob...it's just the matter of time...so, just take it easy la..:)
as long as i gt my friends, my beloved family, and my colleagues supporting me always then i'm fine (after merajuk for some times la of course..)haha...
but last weekend was really a bad weekend for me, i wonder bad luck had chosen my way...
damn me for i'm stupid ke po...that's y i get scolded without a proper reason, and it's not my fault either way..
one or two is enough, i still can bear with it...claim myself bad luck then...but bunch (exaggerating) of ppl treat that i'm a lepas geram tong!! wat the...spoilt my weekend mood...
if i know it earlier, i would rather choose to stay at hostel (though i might be quite emo over too boring) than going out but being qi kek...
i appreciate that at least when i was down, still there are some human be there for me to let me complain to...being very grateful that i found my IC back two days after i lost it...my fault too coz i din check though the blood test counter gal din return to me...learn a lesson*
miss those time when we spent together badly...
realised that some of the things when u lost it, u cant find it back anymore...
relationship is actually maintained both sides, once lost the other side, u cant really chase anything back...
i'm pretty quite sad over some of the friends who stay far away from me, they cant really get to me when i'm down. when i seriously need them...but somehow, i know i've to think in the way that " they are still my friend, just matter of distance, they're actually be my side"...
sometimes, it's actually cheating myself of this kind of thoughts...coz somehow when we're down, we still need a few words of comfort from the important one...that;s how my sadness, emo emo things go away...
anyhow, cant really online coz i cant access internet in my room...that's y u guys wont see me around at msn like last time most of the time...
k la...till here first, time to go ward again...
see ya~
pray for my wisdom and health to strive through these clinical years stuff all the way...
best of luck! ciao~
Saturday, July 17, 2010
最近
我不是不知道我其实也没很坚强
只是触碰到的伤口，还是会痛……
还是会觉得很无助
可是每一次伤口开了，过了一天，好了
没事了
后来再遇见什么事，伤口又裂开了
又痛了，又拼命的挣扎了，过了一天，又好了
不断的循环
很是痛苦
我不想强逼自己改变自己
我不想明知那种改变会带来什么样的结果还要作改变
我不想因为环境而改变
看见超恶心的人心~
我感到很没有安全感
哪一个角落可以让我躲一躲？
周围的人都在改变
一直在作改变
看起来那些改变对他们带来很大的利益与好处
在我眼里却是嗤鼻刺眼的一幕幕
我很是讨厌
心里还是压抑着什么
一些很重的情绪总是时有时无
被情绪拉着走
说到我也不知道要怎样接下去了
只能说
现在的我，不是在最好的状态
但是，
我知道接下来的我会活得精彩！
只是触碰到的伤口，还是会痛……
还是会觉得很无助
可是每一次伤口开了，过了一天，好了
没事了
后来再遇见什么事，伤口又裂开了
又痛了，又拼命的挣扎了，过了一天，又好了
不断的循环
很是痛苦
我不想强逼自己改变自己
我不想明知那种改变会带来什么样的结果还要作改变
我不想因为环境而改变
看见超恶心的人心~
我感到很没有安全感
哪一个角落可以让我躲一躲？
周围的人都在改变
一直在作改变
看起来那些改变对他们带来很大的利益与好处
在我眼里却是嗤鼻刺眼的一幕幕
我很是讨厌
心里还是压抑着什么
一些很重的情绪总是时有时无
被情绪拉着走
说到我也不知道要怎样接下去了
只能说
现在的我，不是在最好的状态
但是，
我知道接下来的我会活得精彩！
爱——用心
单身并没有什么不好，你一样可以关心你喜欢的人，这样可以让大众觉得你是一个很好的朋友；
而恋爱中的人，关心别人则会引发醋意，从爱情观说也是对爱情不够忠诚，但不关心别人则又失去很多友谊，一旦你分手了，就赔了夫人又折兵。
所以现在单身，不是说你不向往爱情，而是证明你对未来的他的一份痴情。
爱情晚点来，就不会走得太早。
我们不需要靠失恋来成熟，我们应该利用别人失恋的经验成长起来。
一个优秀的人单身说明这人足够优秀，一个再优秀的人随意恋爱说明这人的优秀只是表面而已，真正希望对方好的，就是默默在背后关心对方。
最好的承诺，不是爱你一万年，而是根本不需要承诺。
学生时代，周围接触最多的人都年龄相仿，所以价值观都差不多，都想着将来有个好工作，有个好恋人。
正因为理想差不多，所以2个人在一起会很开心，也就很容易走到了一起。
至于恋爱是否会影响学习，这里就不说了，因为既有促进作用，也有消极作用，因人而异。
恋人不是靠寻找的，因为在没有完全了解对方之前，对方可以为了吸引你暂时改变自己，而一旦你完全了解对方后，分手就指日可待了。
所以恋爱应该是日久生情，彼此非常熟知后自然地走在一起，甚至无需表白。
不要认为对方人很好就轻易妥协，人好不是爱情的全部，你们必须为爱情的将来做打算。
如果遇到一个你深爱的女孩，而你感觉她也喜欢你，大部分的人都是直接就开始交往了。
这样做的后果就是前面所说的，最后失去一个深爱的人。
你应该以朋友的名义关心她，在毕业后仍保持联系，然后为了她努力工作。
当你在事业上有所成就后再去找她，如果此时她仍在等你，说明你没看错人。
女孩，如果一个男生他很快就喜欢上妳，那么他以后也会很快就喜欢上别人的。
在学校里的爱情是无知的，在社会中的爱情可能是有目的的，只有遇到逆境仍走下去的爱情才是永恒的。
爱情不是和一个最适合自己的人在一起，而是遇到一个更适合自己的人时，能够坚守自己对所爱的人作出的承诺。
爱情不是两个人眼睛对视，而是两个人的眼光看着同一个方向投视。
网上的“爱你，为你做这些事”看起来很感人，因为大部分人都不是这种爱情。
爱情不是一种潮流，你要有自己的看法，在你的理想恋人未出现时，你要有毅力选择一直单身，而不是找个替代品。
当你做到后，网上传的那些事，在你的爱情中是再基本不过的了。
男生，在谈恋爱时不要抱着不适合就分手的想法，一定要慎重地考虑清楚，女朋友就是你未来的老婆，结婚只不过是多一张无用的纸而已，结婚并不是为爱情加了锁，真正的爱情从来就不需要任何的束缚。
一旦你选择了恋爱，就要有一种责任感，你要为你父母的儿子、你老婆的丈夫、你未来孩子的爸爸负责！
虽然分手是另一段爱情的重新开始，但初恋只有一次，一个人在初恋中对爱情的向往是最多的，而一旦恋爱失败，以后的每一次恋爱中，最难忘的还是初恋。
所以，不是不想恋爱，而是，不想随便的恋爱！
摘自： 爱情记事本
而恋爱中的人，关心别人则会引发醋意，从爱情观说也是对爱情不够忠诚，但不关心别人则又失去很多友谊，一旦你分手了，就赔了夫人又折兵。
所以现在单身，不是说你不向往爱情，而是证明你对未来的他的一份痴情。
爱情晚点来，就不会走得太早。
我们不需要靠失恋来成熟，我们应该利用别人失恋的经
一个优秀的人单身说明这人足够优秀，一个再优秀的人
最好的承诺，不是爱你一万年
学生时代，周围接触最多的人都年龄相仿，所以价值观
正因为理
至于恋爱是否会影响学习，这里就不说了，因为既有
恋人不是靠寻找的，因为在没有完全了解对方之前，对
所以恋爱应该是日久生情，彼此非常
不要认为对方人很
如果遇到一个你深爱的女孩，而你感觉她也喜欢你，大
这样做的后果就是前面所
你应该以朋友的名义关心她
当你在事业
女孩，如果一个男生他很快就喜欢上妳，那么他以后也
在学校里的爱情是无知的，在社会中的爱情可能是有目
爱情不是和一个最适合自己的人在一起，而是遇到一个
网上的“爱你，为你做这些事”看起来很感人，因为大
爱情不是一种潮流，你要有自己的
当你做到后，网上传的那些事，在你
男生，在谈恋爱时不要抱着不适合就分手的想法，一定
一旦你选择了恋爱，就要有
虽然分手是另一段爱情的重新开始，但初恋只有一次，
所以，不是不想恋爱，而是，不想随便的恋爱！
摘自： 爱情记事本
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
i ain't...
i ain't didn't see your needs...
i ain't didn't realise what you are trying to say...
i ain't cold blooded...
i ain't always trying to escape from you...
i ain't the one you suppose to rely on...
i ain't the one you should trust with...
i ain't...
i can't pick up the responsibility of hurting you...
no....
i can't...
it's painful to live in reality...
but i have to...
and so for everyone...
since when fairy tale seems so impossible and so far from me??
T_T
i ain't didn't realise what you are trying to say...
i ain't cold blooded...
i ain't always trying to escape from you...
i ain't the one you suppose to rely on...
i ain't the one you should trust with...
i ain't...
i can't pick up the responsibility of hurting you...
no....
i can't...
it's painful to live in reality...
but i have to...
and so for everyone...
since when fairy tale seems so impossible and so far from me??
T_T
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
生活插曲
很衰的我们
怜悯着自己的可悲
今天我们做的事，
应该值得我笑一辈子
首先，我们在julian房讲话讲话
讲话讲话……
突然子萱就说她肚子饿
讲了一声
基本上没人理她
继续
讲话讲话……
“佳韵！我肚子饿！！！”
“你要去那里吃？”我有点良心，回了一句
“去cafe吃咯，不然去那里？不然我吃maggie面了”
“HUH?可以等人打包吗？我不是很饿哦”
“不要…………（拉很长），在等多一下我就自己煮我的maggi面吃了”
“(威胁我！)你又要去cafe吃咩？（显露不是很想吃cafe的感觉）”
“我知道你xxxxx” （这几个字不方便透露，还是当作跳过）
说完，竟然起身要走了
“喂！！！（差不多是尖叫的了）好啦！我陪你去吃”
从床上跳起来
拿了水壶，钱包，换了衣~走！
两个背影就这样消失在A-4-1
走着走着，还看见“首相”在踢球
看到chua yi jiang，比照片肥了一点
很没口德的我丢了一句话：他在adelaide好吃好住是吗？（之前他去了那一趟）
两个人，笑来笑去，走路也歪来歪去，走去faculty cafe
笑点从这里开始：
她=萱， 我=我， 小贩=小贩
我说：为什么没人的？没开是吗？
她：有开有开！我看到有两罐辣椒酱在那边！！ （试问，有谁会用辣椒酱的存在来定店有没开？笑翻天）少人不要紧，现煮现吃，烧烧的，好吃啊！
后来，走到小贩面前，要order：
她：你要吃什么
我：我想吃maggi goreng，（舌头伸出来，吸干流出来的口水）
她：可是我想吃饭，不想吃面
我就order maggi goreng，小贩摇头说没有
她：ada apa?
小贩：nasi goreng kampung, nasi goreng cina, nasi goreng... nasi goreng... nasi goreng...
我：她没有面（失望的表情）
她：酱，我们公私啦！要吃什么goreng?
我：cendawan! 她：paprik! （同时说）
我：paprik什么来的，好吃咩？
她：酱啊，就cendawan 啦
注意！
笑点又来了
小贩开了饭桶的盖
开始从里面拿出一坨一坨的饭
我望了萱，萱望着我
噗嗤一声！又是一个笑翻天
想吃热的饭，结果吃冷饭
后来，小贩配料配配下
突然停下动作
萱就问她：sudah siap a?
这一句，又是大笑一场
因为小贩点了点头
坐下来
准备吃
吃到一半
我突然间说：不是cendawan咩？做么我没吃到cendawan的？
萱就整个“海底捞针”样，“拿！有了！”
又是一轮笑翻天
你们自己看
你找到那蘑菇吗？
放大给你看咧？
呐！这个小小一个！多珍贵！！
malaysia putra university, college 17 proudly present u ~ the nasi goreng cendawan with
BIG CENDAWAN....
笑到乱
吃完的我们
要去装水了，由于自己的block水制
走着走着
看到water cooler好像在沙漠看见绿洲
有水！
冲过去
准备开水时
笑到乱！！
XD
衰成这样
我们两个就只能自己怜惜自己~
=====================================
说回搬家一事
新家
空气清新
目前没有感觉热
晚上睡觉
可能这几天，因为被单要洗了
没用
睡觉没盖被单，其实是我在k17常做的事
反正就没有很冷
就没有用被单的习惯
谁知
搬上来
晚上时，整个云顶高原这样
冷到我第二天起来
有点抽筋的感觉
麻痹是第二个说法
风扇以前要开五号，还嫌热的那种
现在通常就开四号
晚上记得的话转三号
起身时，我会自动转二号或关掉
风景不错
萱说简直不用去Ampang look out point 了
我们的房就有最美的风景
能够的话我想尝试七早八早起来看看会不会看到“日出”
其实，下礼拜我就每天要起早身了
不用特地其实都有机会看~
T_T
这是我窗外的风景
拍出来不是很好看
用自己的眼睛看其实比较美
没骗你！
我真的住四楼！
没电梯啊！！！
怜悯着自己的可悲
今天我们做的事，
应该值得我笑一辈子
首先，我们在julian房讲话讲话
讲话讲话……
突然子萱就说她肚子饿
讲了一声
基本上没人理她
继续
讲话讲话……
“佳韵！我肚子饿！！！”
“你要去那里吃？”我有点良心，回了一句
“去cafe吃咯，不然去那里？不然我吃maggie面了”
“HUH?可以等人打包吗？我不是很饿哦”
“不要…………（拉很长），在等多一下我就自己煮我的maggi面吃了”
“(威胁我！)你又要去cafe吃咩？（显露不是很想吃cafe的感觉）”
“我知道你xxxxx” （这几个字不方便透露，还是当作跳过）
说完，竟然起身要走了
“喂！！！（差不多是尖叫的了）好啦！我陪你去吃”
从床上跳起来
拿了水壶，钱包，换了衣~走！
两个背影就这样消失在A-4-1
走着走着，还看见“首相”在踢球
看到chua yi jiang，比照片肥了一点
很没口德的我丢了一句话：他在adelaide好吃好住是吗？（之前他去了那一趟）
两个人，笑来笑去，走路也歪来歪去，走去faculty cafe
笑点从这里开始：
她=萱， 我=我， 小贩=小贩
我说：为什么没人的？没开是吗？
她：有开有开！我看到有两罐辣椒酱在那边！！ （试问，有谁会用辣椒酱的存在来定店有没开？笑翻天）少人不要紧，现煮现吃，烧烧的，好吃啊！
后来，走到小贩面前，要order：
她：你要吃什么
我：我想吃maggi goreng，（舌头伸出来，吸干流出来的口水）
她：可是我想吃饭，不想吃面
我就order maggi goreng，小贩摇头说没有
她：ada apa?
小贩：nasi goreng kampung, nasi goreng cina, nasi goreng... nasi goreng... nasi goreng...
我：她没有面（失望的表情）
她：酱，我们公私啦！要吃什么goreng?
我：cendawan! 她：paprik! （同时说）
我：paprik什么来的，好吃咩？
她：酱啊，就cendawan 啦
注意！
笑点又来了
小贩开了饭桶的盖
开始从里面拿出一坨一坨的饭
我望了萱，萱望着我
噗嗤一声！又是一个笑翻天
想吃热的饭，结果吃冷饭
后来，小贩配料配配下
突然停下动作
萱就问她：sudah siap a?
这一句，又是大笑一场
因为小贩点了点头
坐下来
准备吃
吃到一半
我突然间说：不是cendawan咩？做么我没吃到cendawan的？
萱就整个“海底捞针”样，“拿！有了！”
又是一轮笑翻天
你们自己看
你找到那蘑菇吗？
放大给你看咧？
呐！这个小小一个！多珍贵！！
malaysia putra university, college 17 proudly present u ~ the nasi goreng cendawan with
BIG CENDAWAN....
笑到乱
吃完的我们
要去装水了，由于自己的block水制
走着走着
看到water cooler好像在沙漠看见绿洲
有水！
冲过去
准备开水时
笑到乱！！
XD
衰成这样
我们两个就只能自己怜惜自己~
=====================================
说回搬家一事
新家
空气清新
目前没有感觉热
晚上睡觉
可能这几天，因为被单要洗了
没用
睡觉没盖被单，其实是我在k17常做的事
反正就没有很冷
就没有用被单的习惯
谁知
搬上来
晚上时，整个云顶高原这样
冷到我第二天起来
有点抽筋的感觉
麻痹是第二个说法
风扇以前要开五号，还嫌热的那种
现在通常就开四号
晚上记得的话转三号
起身时，我会自动转二号或关掉
风景不错
萱说简直不用去Ampang look out point 了
我们的房就有最美的风景
能够的话我想尝试七早八早起来看看会不会看到“日出”
其实，下礼拜我就每天要起早身了
不用特地其实都有机会看~
T_T
这是我窗外的风景
拍出来不是很好看
用自己的眼睛看其实比较美
没骗你！
我真的住四楼！
没电梯啊！！！
research 完毕
哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈
我像我的research thesis 致敬！
还想鞠一个躬~
挥一挥手~
说再见~！！
太欢喜了！
真是歇下心头大石
最紧张的presentation也顺利过关了
我很感谢那些在最后一分钟还在鼓励我的“亲朋戚友”们
哈哈！！
本小姐很开心啦~~
我终于可以浩浩荡荡向我新学期出发了！
开心~
开心~~
开心~~~
感谢在我上台之前，那些给与我比了个“加油”的手势的你们
让我信心又加了一点
谢谢你们告诉我一切都ok的
“只要当在座各位是你的朋友"
“平常心！平常心”
“你能做到的！”
谢谢你们的鼓励！
我做到了！！
哈哈哈~
我像我的research thesis 致敬！
还想鞠一个躬~
挥一挥手~
说再见~！！
太欢喜了！
真是歇下心头大石
最紧张的presentation也顺利过关了
我很感谢那些在最后一分钟还在鼓励我的“亲朋戚友”们
哈哈！！
本小姐很开心啦~~
我终于可以浩浩荡荡向我新学期出发了！
开心~
开心~~
开心~~~
感谢在我上台之前，那些给与我比了个“加油”的手势的你们
让我信心又加了一点
谢谢你们告诉我一切都ok的
“只要当在座各位是你的朋友"
“平常心！平常心”
“你能做到的！”
谢谢你们的鼓励！
我做到了！！
哈哈哈~
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