Black friday...

i'm now with a heavy mood...

black friday!

actually it's quite moody since wednesday...

since many things seems troubling me...

many things not decided yet..

i dunno wat to do...

plus quite some days alr i've been slacking all the day at hosp..

not that i din approach patients, but those patients keep on rejecting to be clerked especially today...moody friday...

since morning i woke up early as usual, i with my housemate, we went to hosp early...

but keep on being rejected...else, the patients family were there and one of the patient's son is actually a medical students too...we basically dont need to ask anything and the son will tell us every history we want...how sweat it is..

long case long case...i was actually looking for it...

but somehow, it's friday~what senior told us before is true...friday usually wont have much new case in...and the environment in hosp will be very moody...
and usually they will go back earlier compare other weekdays...

FRIDAY = patients were clerked before(monday, tuesday, W, T, F) and they refused to be asked so many questions and somemore wanna palpate lagi.most of them in pain lagi..who wants to repeat so many times with the same questions same answer and same being asked to do the same thing...."tarik nafas macik~, tark~~" "boleh mengiring sana ka pakcik??" "pakcik ada sakit mana mana lagi tak?"...etc...
=_='' stupid!

that's why, i dun get any long case for whole day..
it's actually many days alr..i'm not practising my PE enough...
haiz....
slacking for whole week..
=_=''
scold me! i dun mind..

haiz....
somemore today the main thing i call it a BLACK friday is bcoz ....
i witnessed a patient died after bout 45 mins resuscitation...
the heart rate was up and down several times...
the lowest was 30 sth and then being resuscitated , up again...gone tachycardia 130 the highest and fall and up and fall again...

first time see H.O M.O doing CPR...the malay H.O somemore climbed up the bed and resuscitate the patient which make me thinks she's really cool coz the way she do it is just like "I'M GONNA SAVE U!"
and then the MO come, surprisingly he's quite big in size, and i think that's the reason why he can actually resuscitate with ONE HAND! man~ lol...geng! somemore can talk while doing resuscitate...
adrenaline being boost for several times i think..

actually another thing to mention is that while the CPR was performed, the whole bed was actually shaking, and the patient stomach was like a balloon filling with lots of water being squeeze....u can imagine that?

after being chase out, i still peeped for the heart rate and ecg machine..though the MO stared at us very fiercely several times...and a nurse actually tease us said" cuma tengok saja ka? tak tau tolong?" with that face expression u can actually feel very bad la...but end up we gt helped to bagging ...

after a while...
at the end , the ecg showed no changes with a straight flat line...
not as the drama shown...gt the beep sound, i think somehow they mute it alr..
or else, the environment will become very heavy...
that time was about 14.00 and it was friday, 30th july 2010

the MO then went to the family...and few minutes later, one of the family member cry loudly in the hosp.............

sympathy...



"life is short, appreciate now"
we used to this sentence...
but how many of us are really appreciating their lives?
some just put their lives under risks...
do some stupid things to burn their lives off...how stupid it is!
ppl in the hosp all struggling to live even just for one more minute...
but still gt brainless ppl smoke to burn their life shorter at the same time burn the damn cigarretes which then the ppl around them will suffer secondhand smokes..


i always have one kind of thinking in my mind,
"if everyone knows how to loves their lives and love the one around them, kan apa apa pasal pun takda?"
where comes the war? where comes the fighting? where comes the hospitalisation?
everyone lives happily with each other~ lives in harmony ~
ok, i know i'm talking childish...
the world is not a fairy tale~


last thing to add on, dun judge me if u dunno me well...
dun say me garang if u dunno wat's happening actually...
dun ask me " don't be like that" if u dunno wat happened to me actually... coz it actually hurts..
i will very appreciate it if u stand on my shoe and think of my situation...thanks!
(who dun wan to be a better person? who wish to say sth bad and makes ppl feel bad on u? esp being a christian somemore...)


p/s: cant really adapt to the changes in environment after enter clinical year...
everything just change! and u have to realise one by one that what's actually no longer the same anymore...