Tasik Chini trip!! AWESOME!!!

HI~~!! everyone...
i'm back from tasik Chini~Pahang..
it was a awesome trip...
Thank God that i insist to join them even i know that maybe if i join the trip, i couldnt even pass my musculoskeleton assesment...

Thank God that now, i have just after my assesment...
but havent know the result yet...
hoping i will at least pass lar...

the trip was really a nice experience...
though i have bitten by insectss and mosquitoess...
but i never regret that i join the trip..
haha...
we, the 2nd year actually responsible for handling the kids over there...
in short, we were like a sunday school teacher ...
i love the kids there...
especially when they were focusing to colouring the picture...
i have thousands of pictures gonna upload here...

LET'S BEGIN OUR JOURNEY~




Love is always the biggest~~





after a long run...
finally we arrived...
(so excited to see this road sign board...)




one of the view when heading to tasik chini...








tis is the tree that planted beside our house...




josephine 採了颗吃，结果才发现坏了！哈哈。。。




this is a place called - place to wash baju~ haha....




corridor~







yaya...welcome welcome to tasik chini`~
hehe...






i like tis very much...it will be very nice to be used when it comes to night, provided mosquitoes repellant is fulling working .！！ haha...
or else, it will be very hot and get bitten by insectssss....






totally there were 4 cars driving there..
Mr.Yap's, Kah Chuan's, Joshua's, Frankie's...
i was in Frankie's ...(Sabah-ian..)




yeah~!! Sing Seng was teaching us the story to be told to the kids~~
see~ how serious he was!! lol....




Hui Moon...the gal with guitar...
a very tough gal physically...
i like her style! haha...



this father actually playing cheat huh!! haha...
coz we ask the kids to colour the picture we provided...but he's so nice that he help his son (maybe) to colour it up!! haha...
so nice~




they were so shy when they found out i was shooting at them...
lol...they were really pure and cute!!
their smile were really sweet~!! just that i failed to capture the nice one...





she's Keren....a very shy gal too..
i was beside her to teach her colouring the picture...
lol...trust me she's really cute!!
when 1st we were worshiping, she already noticed me, and i keep stared at her..
she's really really cute!





they were receiving lollipop!! haha....




this "gal" was really really cute!! i bet she's too young to tell what's her name..
when i asked her what's her name, she just smile with a little bit fear ...
and the gal beside her help her to answer me pula...
and i asked her to write down her name on the picture paper...
she wrote "Mulan"
but the gal told me that her name is Sarina!!
so....anybody can tell me what's her name actually?
Sarina or Mulan??? lol...until now i still dunno...
lol...





they were (frm left): Keren and Angelena~





she was focusing to colour up the "caterpillar"..haha...




this was made by Angelena...haha...
she even colour up the eyes and tongue which we, the "kakak-kakak" din ask her to do so...
she's really funny lar~






Angelena and her sister...Nikita~
they were really pretty...
especially the sister Nikita...
looks like foreigner...
not same with the other children...
looks really different..
and Angelena...i can bet u, she looks even prettier than Angelena Julie~
lol....




she was unaware when i capture down her...
lol...totally focusing man!





these two gals...
wahhahahaha....
really funny lar..
especially the right hand one..
she clips her hair up with 3 flowers over her head...lol...
the left one...really sweet when she smiles...




these lollipops, we use it to seduce them to listen to us...
lol....






i capture this when Frankie was driving...lol...
the roads were really narrow...
hard to drive actually...







these are the views when we drove around the tasik chini...




they are not that "ulu" lar...
they got cars...lol...








sampat jessie...
cam whooring all the time!!








their houses...
living in a simple house with a simple life...




caps were really important under big big SUN!!






the four guys~~ haha...
F4?? haha...





this is TOILET!!!







we live in JONES' HOUSE...haha...
he treat us very nice actually..
cook for our meals...




the bridge...





the monkeys...
hahaha...





this is MR YAP actually..
haha...
looks like a drawing picture right??
nice nice~~ my photo skills are good! lol..







they were civil engineers~~!!!
geng!!!








the loving birds~~~ how sweet~




the view when i sit at the end of the bridge...tasik chini~





we were having uncle jones' meal~





Frankie...
haha...sit alone de? emo??
haha ....at the end jessie and i go and accompany him..
sit beside him...lol...






ah Seng with his boat!! haha...
the boat will sink if we use it..
lol....





*sign board~!




frm left: loving birds whispering...Jewel ...the right one..how pity! haha...











the last video must see!!!
haha...


till here 1st...
tata~~

人生的故事编剧是两人

緣份 是一種很 炫的東西~~
它通常是在不知不覺中出現。
當它存在之時，你可能不會珍惜；期待它到來時，它卻一直都不出現 。
所以，從此刻開始，大家要懂得珍惜它，珍惜生活在你 周圍的所有人，無論是朋友、愛人、甚至於家人.......Ｃ~Ｈ~Ｅ~Ｒ~Ｉ~Ｓ~Ｈ
在你一生當中，能交到多少個知心朋友 ??
雖然你們實際上才認識不久，不過感覺上卻像好久好久 。
你有這種朋友嗎???
就是你們很談得來，什麼都分享，什麼都聊，一輩子也 不厭倦的那種。
如果你有這種朋友，趕快對他說:這一生中最知心的朋 友就是你，絕對錯不了!!~而且永遠也不會改變 !~

ＩＮＴＩＭＡＴＥ　ＦＲＩＥＮＤＳ~~~
我們 有緣 而相識
我們 有緣 而相聚
我們 有緣 而交換心靈
我們應該彼此 珍惜 相處的每一刻
更應該 珍惜 你現在所擁有的一切
此生才不會悔憾

ＬＯＶＥ??!!
是愛??是喜歡??還是只是欣賞??
愛是百分之百 ，你 無時無刻 都在想、思念著他。
喜歡有百分之八十 ，你 常常 都會想到他、思念他。
而欣賞只剩百分之六十 ,你 只有偶爾 會想到、和思念著他。
欣賞會讓人積極，喜歡會讓人開心，
但愛卻會讓人傷心。
當你欣賞一個人 ，你不見得 會喜歡他，也不見得會愛上他。
當你喜歡的一個人 ，有可能 你只是欣賞他，但你也有可能會愛上他。
當你愛一個人時 ，你一定是 基於欣賞，慢慢變成喜歡，然後最後成了愛。
當你和他搭訕時，剛開始那只是出於“欣賞” 。
當他們交往一段時間後，可能會變成“喜歡”，但也可 能永遠只能停留在“欣賞”，至於“愛”，很難說，說不定你一輩子都找不到。


ＬＩＫＥ~~~~
有人問：你為什麼喜歡一個人？
我只能夠說出為什麼不喜歡一個人，卻說 不出為什麼喜歡一個人。
喜歡一個人，是一種感覺。 不喜歡一個 人，卻是事實。
事實容易解釋，感覺卻難以言喻。
愛情是忽然有一個人，我們覺得一見如故， 我們的內 分泌忽然起了翻天覆地的變化，很很想靠近她，想擁抱她。
以後，無論快樂或哀愁，我們也想不起當初為什麼愛她 。
因只有當我們不愛一個人時，才會找出不愛她的原因。 　　　　　

ＡＤＭＩＲＥ？!？
每個人都有屬於自己的一個故事。
在這故事理，你應該努力地演好自己的角色。
如果劇本是自己寫的，我相信，這個世界裡再不會有悲 劇出現。
只可惜， 編劇一定是兩個人。
只要其中一方有了變話，這齣戲任你再怎 麼努力去演，到了最後只會成為悲劇。
一生當中，會有很多跟你合演的人，
但最終，只有一個可以幫你完成這齣劇 =)










love ya....















miss u all~~
miss sitiawan~~~

crap

right now i'm in epidemiology class in computer lab...
well...
as usual...
wont lose this opportunity to online~
lol...

quite tired after attend a visit at klinik kesihatan jinjang ...
i woke up at 6am and up bus by 6:30 ..
reached there on bout 7:05am
and we have to walk 1km to reach klinik...
luckily the trip at last benefit me...

we had fun in running around the klinik until our leg feel like cramping...
it was really tiring especially coz of i didnt even manage to take my breakfast b4 i went...
at the end i have to take my lunch at my own kolej kafe..

feel so sleepy now...
the lecturer is like teaching kindergarden like tat...
teach me how to "open file" " edit" "view"...
bla bla bla...

anyway...
looking forward to the tasik chini trip...
heard michael said the nite view there is excellent...
stars were sparkling last time when he went there...

full of plan in coming weeks...
nex week going to genting with coursemates...
following week hari raya going back home...
27th sep tat time will hve one trip go somewhere play again with cf friends...

whao...
never think of i can make my life so hectic but yet meaningful....


>_<

a short but yet meaningful gathering.

feels great when everytime come back to my page...

last weekend i just went to midvalley meet ong pek and chuan shyeng..

haha...

didn't even afraid of H1N1...

i and my friend julian went there by ktm...

though all along the way we went, we can still saw ppl wearing mask in the train, the mall and even taxi drive himself was wearing mask...

lol...

julian and i dont have mask at that moment...

we just lower down our head and avoid of "breathing" that much in the train...

lol...

when we met each other, 1st target to go is cari makan!!

though that time i was not that hungry, but to reduce the kekok-ness of julian and my friends, so i just decided to go to somewhere where we can sit down and talk..

finally we came to tis "taiwan food" (dunno what's the name of the restaurant d.)

these were our choices...

lol...mine one is the one nearest to the shooting angle one...

dunno name d...tomato-fish...sth like tat lar..



then we went walk around...
and we get free coca cola~ haha...
how kind they were~~ the smile is the most perfect one that i ever see~
lol...




then i saw sth weird...
there were many "monster" all over the mall...
and they were trying to challenge me to find out all of them...
and i was too boring that i captured down everyone of them when i saw them....

















this one is the one challenge me to capture down their face!!
lol...







these is amazing!! i'm shocked when i saw them all hanging there...lol...





oooppss...this is not the monster...tis is sampah tong...
lol...*faint~




tis is the cutest one...i like tis one...lol...





somemore~ here!!



some are really good in hiding...
lol...





finally we went to famour amos~
julian wanna buy it to his brother~




i take tis without her knowledge...and i think the counter-man were thinking that i was shooting at him....actually he was not the one i wanna shoot at lar...lol...




though there were so many sales...but i buy nothing back home...no mood shopping actually ....with two guys following...somemore wanna critic me that i cant wear M size shirt anymore...ask me to choose L size one...sweat ==|||




we left our footprints in midvalley~
lol....




we went back together and we managed to get mask from han lin...
though at 1st he said he dun wan gve me even one ...
(gt gf d, not same liao~ lol...)





tis is i when i was in dissection practical...
hehe...
zi lian xia~



at last...
post a zi lian photo here...
hehe...my latest pic~




though the time is short to meet with han lin and chuan shyeng..
but i manage to take my time to keep in touch to them...
at least now i surprisingly met the fat-chuan-shyeng and sweet till diabetes mellitus de han lin...
that heartless han lin even alr forget wat's my name d...
haiz...love really change ppl easily...
haiz...

till here,

goodbye lor everyone~

love ya and miss ya all so much~

我的眼泪 *不是* 眼泪

人……
是什么样的动物？
是哪里出了问题？
总是在怨天怨人

人……
为什么有那么多复杂情绪？
让自己跌入深渊中？
万死不复

人……
到底能够彼此沟通吗？
有文字，
却表达不了感受

人……
被冤枉
被欺骗
被放鸽子

人……
难过
寂寞
孤独
疲惫
谁知？


我的眼泪
很少被人看见

它
不算珍贵
但总是为它的主人申诉着埋藏在心底的委屈

它
没有价值
因为它为不珍惜它的别人而流

它
很可悲
往往总是往肚子里流
因主人强悍的外表
习惯了的顽固
不让它发泄

它只是多余的水分


心
一天比一天破碎
荒度了岁月
它憔悴的跳动着
试问，有谁在乎它的生命力？
因它总是默默地付出

它
流血了
只有主人知道
因它是在心内里
没人看见它狂泻而出的血流
别人看不见……
只有主人知道

心
不一定要表达
当它伤痕累累时
它。已失去了表达的能力
因为再多的表达
都变成徒然了

到底这颗心
付出得不够
还是付出的太多?
多得让人窒息？

它的付出
不被人看重
却被万箭所指
万箭穿心的痛
只有它主人知

文字
很古老
也很现代
但此时已不被看重
因它永远表达不到
心所感受到的



不同层次的爱
果然就是不同



人往往只为不关心自己的事或物
感到心痛
伤心
流泪
他们永远不知在他们背后
有多少关心他们的人
为他们心痛
伤心
流泪


人
心
所感受到的
往往不经意
累计在眼角

泪
是眼角的水
目字边有三点水

但当三点水
划不出眼角
往肚里流时
谁看见了泪？
人
看见的还是你的双目


有一天
心
发现
主人总是把自己逼到墙角
总是没把它看重
往往把它随意掏出来
让它每次伤痕累累
心埋怨着……
主人
明白自己的错
明白自己总是不爱心多点

但

主人好笨！
就是学不会
冷漠些
好让她的心
没必要再受不必要的痛
不必要的苦
流不必要的血


心
不知你怎么了？
我看不见你
却感受到你隐隐作痛
你是怎么了？

泪
还有必要再流吗？


我
此时
双目无光
无三点水
因为灵魂早已被人心吞噬了
死去了

心
麻木了

A triangle

this is what today i learn from CF-christian fellowship...
haha...
very true that Chin Yang said the relationship of God with us is like a triangle...
he describe that when we get into a relationship, if both sides are followers of God, the relationship with God will be better...we are draw closer to God...
u can see frm the diagram...
it makes the triangle smaller...amazing?
lol...
when it's just one side closer to God, but the other part don't really wanna move forward...the triangle will be senget lar of course...

very true...
it's something that we shall think of...

coz sometime the other part may drag u away from God in order to make the triangle in balance...

nth much...just sth that i find it interesting and wanna show it here...
lol...
blerk~

this is sth that i draw in bilik tutorial today on 1pm like tat...
lol...
just sth in my mind and draw it out...
lol....
someone wanna intepret it??

lol....

*new update

harlo ppl...
long time din update my blog d...
guess u all miss my like hell??
haha...
i'm busy with my assesments and few tests recently...
so kind of din really have time to online...

sth really weird is that ...
these few days i lose the addict to online d...
haha...
guess it's a good thing??
lol...

not really feeling well this few days...
hmm....not physically one..
but mentally one...
again...social communication problem...
lol...
i get used to it already i think...
so it wont be a problem to me anymore i think...
at least i know no matter how bad situation i'm in...
ther'll be u all...
those who dun really meet ...
those who stand "behind" me and support me...
thax...
i know u all always be there for me...

life is about obstacles de lar...
so...once i get strive over it ...
i think it will be ok d...

just to rise up my voice here ...
so that u all wont lose my contact again...
31st aug i gt one trip with my uni christian fellowship to tasik chini at pahang..
go visit so called "orang asli" there...
will have a nice experience if i join the trip...
hmm..
not yet sure whether go onot...
coz i've been non stop bz for few weeks d...
mentally kind of exhausted..
cant really go out shopping or watch movie...
coz my parents ordered me not to go out too often...
so try to be a filial daughter...
i choose to not to let them worry bout me...
reduce the "frequency" of goin out ...
(though last nite i just go sri serdang's pasar malam and get a bowl or laksa and some sausage there...)
haha...
life is uneasy...
i will try to be tough and find for the strength to assit me...


i'm still ME...
i know what am i doing now...
people just pandai cakap bt dun really work it out...
to those said being very considerate and love ur brother and sisters...
try to think of ur own action now ba...



you think what you are...
but you are NOT what you think!


i'm not happy with u!
blow me??? blerk~

射手座，好准哦！

乐观与忧愁：射手座人的内心不是外表看上去那么乐观的，因为喜欢看的远，容易担忧的事情也就多，在他们的字典里，即使现在好，也不一定代表未来好，有时候很多人觉得很好的一个工作或一个伴侣，他们很轻易的就会放弃掉，可能只是因为一个毫不起眼的小原因。??以，这样的外在表现，就让人们觉得他们不喜欢被某件事情或某个人束缚住，追求自由的，没有压力的感觉。
　　　　
　　　　现实：常说射手座是追求梦想的人，但往往忽略了他们现实的一面，算计起来不会比处女座差哦，只是更高明更隐藏罢了。射手座人的梦想是必须建立在现实的基础上的，一般他们很少谈及自己的梦想，而是实际的去做一些向梦想靠拢的事情。如果可以借巧力完成的事情，决不会多花一点工夫。所以有时候射手座也容易给人耍小聪明的感觉。可是，不得不承认他们完成的还满不错。也许终其一生，他们都在考虑怎么巧妙的做一些事情，花最少的精力去达到最好的效果。所以，很多射手座看上去让人们会觉得很懒，但是其实他们的大脑可没有停下过思考现实的事情。
　　　　
　　　　拒绝低俗：几乎所有的射手座内心都是骄傲的，其程度绝不亚于狮子座。只不过他们不会显现在脸上，外在的表现总是随和的，恰当的。可是内在有着极强的自尊心，敏感也情绪化。因为射手座人心中是骄傲的，所以他们拒绝低俗，不喜欢任何俗气的、粗鲁的事或人。如果可以，他们希望一切有关的事物，都是优雅的、高尚的，值得品味的。而真正能让他们觉得值得交朋友或谈恋爱的人是很少的，虽然表面上他们是很随和的。
　　　　多情：很多人说射手座多情，尤其是男性。其实在射手座人的心目中，对于爱情确实有理想化的倾向，和他们谈恋爱，是一件高难度的事情。他们非常讨厌俗气的人，所以你不能很物质或喜欢谈钱，但是他们又很现实，所以你不能一文不名，各方面也必须有一定的实力。物质与精神，你必须平衡的刚刚好，才让他们觉得你值得去爱。或者，你有足够的神秘感，可以让他们不知道你的缺点在哪里，而盲目的爱你。一般，当然是没有完美无缺的人的，所以，可能象金牛座这样永远会让射手感觉捉摸不透的闷闷的人，会非常吸引他们；或者象双子那样，足够机智，懂得察言观色，捕捉他们的情绪，才会让他们感觉到爱情的甜蜜。一般射手的感情模式是，第一阶段，你们还不熟悉，他（她）爱上了你，非常热情。第二阶段，你们逐渐熟悉，而他（她）开始龟毛，整天挑剔你的毛病，无论是背地里还是当面。如果你有幸通过他（她）的挑剔过程，基本挑剔出的毛病为零或者你把缺点保密的非常好；那么进入第三阶段，他们就又是忠诚和热情的爱人了。但是基本能通过第二阶段的人非常少，所以有了射手多情一说。其实射手对恋人的挑剔，是源于对爱情的挑剔，对丧失自由感的恐惧。
　　　　
　　　　射手座人的人生，往往是幸运的，因为他们是聪慧的、明朗的、通透的。与众不同，也许是他们终生追求的梦想，希望每一个射手人，可以找到他们的梦想！
　　　　
　　　　人人都说射手座是感情的骗子，对爱情不尊重，只追求片刻的快感，是花心与冲满欲望的象征。朋友们…你们了解射手座最真实的一面吗？
　　　　
　　　　射手座是大孩子，天真与善良，遇到爱情时，可能让人感觉不认真，付出的比谁都少。可是，知道吗？射手座很想爱，却也很怕爱！刚开始他们只是慢慢的付出，谨慎的爱，好怕自己会受伤。可是在一句一句的爱，一天一天的相处下，射手座把带刺的防备丢掉，开始不顾一切的去爱他们所爱的人，在别人眼中，只是射手座为了达到某种目的而作的行动。可射手座不介意，他会在自己幸福的想象中陶醉，希望对方能感受自己的爱，想对方觉得与自己一齐是幸福的。
　　　　在射手座爱上了一个人，他会把自己放到最后。有苦自己承担，可能会因为吵了一场小架而不开心，却也是最快认错，无论谁的错，他们都会包容，知道吗？射手座会因为深爱一个人而原谅他的背叛，会因为你的一句话付出很多。他们爱玩，在玩的同时，也希望把那一份好心情带给你，射手座是乐观的。
　　　　
　　　　人们总觉得射手座的世界很快乐，可是呢？射手座难过时没有人知道，他不想让别人可怜自己，射手座不坚强，可是很善良。在你难过时哄你开心，让你有依靠，分手后，他会哭者去想属于你们俩幸福的回忆，也不想爱的人因为同情而勉强和他一齐。他比谁都希望自己爱的人快乐幸福，却常常忽略了自己，全身都是伤也笑着告诉你，我很好不用担心。
　　　　
　　　　在所有人看到他的笑容以为他没事，却不知道失恋对射手座有多大伤害，华丽的外表下有一颗脆弱的需要别人了解和安慰的心。知道嘛？你的一点关心，心思细腻的射手座会记得你对他的好，把自己的爱毫无保留的送给你，射手座是不被了解的，可他们不会怨谁。他们会傻傻的认为，让我承担吧，别让别人也受到伤害。所以，不要让快乐的射手座痛苦，别让他们最有魅力的笑容成为掩饰痛苦的伪装，认真爱射手座。你会知道射手座的爱，是充满泪水的…

别了康桥

再别康桥

我应该启程了

不再回头

不想再回头




感谢你

你是为我着想的

也许这么想

我会好过点




也许来得不是时候

没有后悔

不应难过

我拥有更多

不是不屑

而是珍惜

因为珍惜

所以你说你爱过

我爱过




也许再重来已不像以前

只会再次经历伤痛

走回原点

不如往前跨步

回忆已足够

让我们彼此继续带着它

走我们接下来的路




你曾给我的有太多

我感谢你给我回忆

祝你幸福

made right decision

*sigh...

ya...

she should change her favourite colour...

no matter how...

coz...

he think that he had made right decision...

what she has to do now is...

let go...

He and She- talk about love.

She likes blue...
but she doesnt realised that...
until one day...
she realised it...
but, it's too late...
Time grab her blue away...

He likes green now...
greeny seems like put him in a sweet state...
like a children found his candy...

she thought she left blue long time ago...
until when everytime other colours approch her,
when she wants to get into it,
the memories of blue drag her back to blue...

everytime she thinks of blue,
like a stone or cyst obtructing her blood stream...
causing sudden dyspnea ...
she lives in the memories in blue...
she didnt realise it...
OR
perhaps, she havent met someone suit her better than blue do...

she tried to approach blue once again...
but blue seems faded away...

He prefer green now...
Green become more attractive than blue...
he's happy with his green life...
doesnt matter that his green belongs to him or not...
coz green brought him out of blue which maybe hurt him before...

she doesnt know whether is that is what she wants...
OR
maybe she just havent met the right one,
someone better than him...
and continue lives in blue memories...

she feels heart-ache
when he said...
"I DID LOVE BLUE VERY MUCH..."
with a smile face =)

the way of typing msg still the same...
XD
he likes to joke a lot...
but he never realise that...
this time...
his jokes hurt her deeply like her never experience this kind of pain...


** Blue will be always in her mind...
coz till now, blue suit her the best...
coz she just simply loves blue...
Memories of blue will always stay deep in her heart...
coz once, blue loved her deeply too...
she believes...
never doubt that...

maybe she should regret what she had done before...
coz it makes her lost the thing she actually one...
she doesnt appreciate...
and now ...
she has to live in the memories of blue ...
until perhaps ...
the other blue appear in her life once again...
with love, care and trust...
seal the broken heart back...

p/s: there's a quite outdated song but yet a nice song recommended here...

by guang liang << yue ding >>

重大打击2！

各位乡亲父老

本人这次真的有重大消息要向大家宣布！！！

这次的打击！！

是我人生中，第一次，也是蛮大一次的打击！！


就是…………………………



我COLLEGE的WIRELESS BLOCK掉了



MSN



EBUDDY




YOUTUBE!!!!




这跟要了我的命没两样！！

没得开msn我会发霉！！！

我真的会发霉！！

真的，

请相信我！！



刹那间，我觉得自己很可怜。

被遗弃在黑暗的角落的感觉。

天啊~~~

谁可以用touchlight照我一下。

让我感受下光的珍贵？？

*受不了打击！

打击！

重大打击！！！
本人今天被两个人类说：你胖了！！！！！！！！
我的天~

我的地~

我的妈呀！！

不能接受这就是事实！！

伤心！

又必须进行地狱式的减肥方式了……

痛苦！

伤心！

*********************************************************************

最近生活总是闷闷的。


又是考试、考试、考试……


哦！对了，最近有很感动……


为什么呢？


哈哈…………


本人的小buddy常常打包“KFC”等的食物给我吃！


真是幸福啦！~


哈哈``


当然我也有打包给他啦（如果我又出去的话）


哈哈~~


开心~


只是，他也未免太被动了。


没什么话说的~


问他有什么问题要问我的？


总是没问题。


跟他说话，他通常都只回一句话。


闷掉！


不过……相信我的buddy line以后都回很合，很三八！


最近也没什么特别的事，


所以上来乱哈拉了下。


朋友们，让你们失望了的话，不好意思啦`~哈哈。。

生活再苦，还是得继续。
这是最近深深领悟到的事。
听嘛？早就听说过这句话了。
但是真正的领悟，我还是最近才发现的……

怎么说？
难过也是得过一天，开心也是过一天。
面对问题，与其多起来逃避问题，不如勇敢面对解决问题，大不了笑笑没烦恼。
怎么都好，地球还是转，太阳依旧照，抱着一条命不死，生活还有很多需要体验。

听见学长说，在医院看病，常常会不小心把自己送上危机。
突然真的觉得医务人员很伟大，
常常把自己的生命放在前线，随时可能被传染疾病。
本人突然有种贪生怕死的感觉。
想到之前听说过一个刚毕业的医学系学生被传染爱滋。
才毕业就被传染了。
很可惜。

读到那么吃力，才毕业，才想工作而已，就鞠躬尽瘁死而后已！
唉……

最近得知有个朋友的健康出现问题。
问题也不小。
看着他对我说时的表情……
他是笑笑的说，
我却不知该给什么表情。
他是我很要好的朋友其中之一。
看着他笑笑的说，
我却替他担心。
我知道他其实也不好受，
他其实也在担心，
只是不愿意看到我为他担心的样子，
所以忙着跟我说，
小时一桩，他会长命百岁的……
我也笑笑的说：你没那么短命！
他必须继续作检查，
还笑说他如果死了…………
我还真的有点气，
说什么神经病的话！
生命应该珍惜，
就算再大的考验，也不应该放弃投降！
他嘻皮笑脸的，让我生气不了多久就笑了。

不希望他有事，
真的不希望!
请你替我照顾好你自己。
在怎样，如果你愿意放弃你的生命，
但我不愿意！
你要放弃你的生命，得先问过我！
因为如果！！如果！！
我说的是如果！！
如果………………


你走了…………………………


你会带走我很多很多的快乐……………………



你留给我的…………………………


就只有………………


悲伤………………


回忆………………


跟寂寞……………………


p/s:请你坚强！就算是为了你的家人，朋友，还有我!

rubbish overload~

If u have guts...
just try to scold the 5th year seniors in front of the stage using mike!
If u are a real hero...
try to stand up and tell the seniors that you are not afraid of them!


don't speak up when you don't even get involve in it...
don't speak up when you actually don't have the right to talk...
don't speak up when you don't even behave yourself...
don't speak up when you actually trying to threaten others to listen to u...

coz...afterall... you are just a rubbish!
you don't deserve respect even from your own coursemates...

i have sore eye sight when i look at u...
you are just...so... un-descibe-able, RUBBISH!

my Lord, my God.

just came back from balakong harvest church...
1st pastor told us that the alphabet "A"- stand for authority of God..
the preaching just now somehow touched the problems i'm facing recently..
these few days...Josephine and i have started to give morning service..
in short, it's actually a morning pray..
i found it actually work...
it's really different that if every morning first after brush your teeth and washed ur face, u come to search for God...
and listen to what he's trying to tell us compare to you did nothing, but just went to church every sunday..
meaningless..

every morning, we share our problems, and we help each other to pray to God that He can help us in our daily life and so that we can always be with Him and improve ourselves...
it's amazing that sometimes i found that God actually speak to us.
through bibles, through pastor, even through your friend..
you will find that amazing when someone suddenly talk bout something related to your problem, and you can actually get the solution to solve the problems..
God is always there...
watching us...protecting us...
approach Him, so that He can approach us too..
life isn't about assesments, enjoyment, studying, career, loved one...
life is from God, something you can find the meaning of life from God..
He's so great that nothing seems to be hard to Him...
for his mighty words and power, and the love that He shows to us...
we shall follow Him...because He had chosen us before we choose Him...

i can't deny that pastor Joshua Mah is a great pastor..
the way he preach...
i'm impressed...
"let go the old life style, turn your life to a new leaf..."
"go upwards instead of go backwards.."
"be optimistic and confident of what you are going to do, don't be negative.."
"face the problem and strive over it, instead of you run away from the problem, for He will always be there for u whenever you need Him.."


sometimes, we know all these things..
but we can't really do it and apply it our lives...
and so do i...
somehow, i need to learn to be strong and tough,
to be determined, to be optimistic.
to be confident, to be positive..
learn how to let go the past and turning a new life..
i should strive over the obstacles and face the new challenges in front of me...
i know i can do it cause' God is always be with me...

Have Faith~

我活得快乐的同时我不难过。

我发现，常常把部落格当成自己家。
得空就上来看看，一定会开着，
它给我一份归属感，
属于我。

伤心难过，就会跑来这里。
开心兴奋，也会跑来这里。
无聊生气，还是跑来这里。

我发现，我没什么地方可以去。
只是越玩越闷的facebook，
查邮件，跟这里。

对于其他的，本姑娘还真的没什么兴趣。
最近活得好好的。
能吃、能喝、能拉。
喉咙也渐渐起色了。

突然觉得很幸福。
因为多了一群人在我身边。
旧的一群人任然不变。
很享受此刻的感觉。
我活得开心。

会有“我不难过”的感觉。
但偏偏，这四个字，好像有点……不真的感觉。
尤其是摆在某些人面前。
明明，他难过，我明白。
明明，我难过，我了解。
明明，很难受，但我却选择了逃避。

也许，顺其自然就是最好的方法。
但是，或在当下，面对他，
我还是有种抬不起头的感觉。

从别人口中听到的他，还是那么的冷漠。
也许一切成为过去，
只是，我不愿面对现实，
选择逃避、选择片自己。

但事实，总归事实，
怎么样都好，它，还是事实。
跨过它吧，阿佳~

orientation week sucks!!!

orientation week sucks!!!
all are like mess~~
because of lack of co-operation..
2nd year are not united...
some too protect the juniors...
until they all start climbing up to seniors' head..
what the...
sounds stupid when someone said
"enough lar...i'm boring with it...just let them sit down"
"please don't...if u don't want to start a fight here..."
what the hell are u all talking about??
they are just juniorsss guys!!!
not your siblings or family members...
why you all act so protective?

sorry to say that, it is so stupid to start scolding each other in front of juniors...
and i think people, u all don't really know the meaning of orientation week...
okay...
maybe it's just the difference views of orientation week ...
but somehow, it's just so stupid when i see those people fight among themselves..
juniorss are becoming more and more "chuan" ...
it's not a good sign...
if in the coming years they continue to lead orientation in this way...
the whole thing will be spoilt definitely...

whatever it is...
i don't really care seriously saying...
at least those i care, they behave...
those act like they are so special and unique that they can even look down on seniors...i don't care ...
you all will take the consequences...

祝你幸福

时间过了 走了
你冷了 倦了 我哭了
我懂了 不说了 爱淡了 梦远了
那些爱过的感觉都太深刻 我都还记得

只是回忆的音乐盒还旋转着 要怎么停呢

你不等了 说好的幸福呢

只是回忆的音乐盒还旋转着 要怎么停呢


《说好的幸福呢》


祝你幸福

哀悼-为不被祝福的爱情

他们，画上了句点。
尽管两人的合称度高到爆灯，
她为不被祝福的爱情，
出卖了自己的感觉。

他一开始，不放弃……
他不想就这样放弃，离开。
她却因而越来越痛苦。
他不能谅解，所以她只好逼退他。
她越来越冷，冷言以对。
他越来越不解，越来越灰心。
谁知，她比他觉得更痛？
看他努力的挽回六年的感情，
她选择不听、不理、不屑。
最终，他以为，这份感情没了、死了。

他最后冷冷的说了再见，
道别之前，他把一开始如何认识她，到后来的他们重新说过。
她不忍，怕自己因而会心软，选择责骂他，要他给她自由。
他却要她静静听着就好，不必给与反应。
她心，无比难受，却要装作不在乎。
她没给与任何反应。
他道歉，为他所带来的“麻烦”。

他走了。


隔天，没了他，她的世界显得很安静。
她没发现她自己其实悄悄期待着他的短讯，
习惯了他的同在，
现在的她，有点失落。

然而，手机响了。

《一封信息》：

保重。


她明白，他真的走了。
她只好装作若无其事的跟他像朋友般的传简讯。
他却改变了以往的说话方式，
让她毫不习惯。
她明白，他也许就真的只是把她当朋友了。
她，莫名失落。
却不能因而回头、后悔。
只有留着回忆，
独自守着寂寞。


为不被祝福的爱情，
值得哀悼吗？

近况

又是咳、咳、咳……
Stepsils吃了一盒，24颗，extra strong 的……
还是没见效。
咳、咳、咳……
越咳越严重……
声音还真的越来越低沉。
还吓到朋友。
有尽量喝水，可是还是一样。
确定的是，我不是得了h1n1。
因为我没发烧，没头痛^^

一上课就累积了二十三份notes.
有点喘不过气来。
还好拒绝了表演，不然我肯定生不如死。

新学期，多了几pair couple在我学校。
想说，现在的“小孩”（1st year）大多都有男女朋友了的。
那天5th year senior还笑我，越老，market越低。
还叫我赶快找一个。
哈哈……

当下，很享受目前的生活。
至少家人安康，
跟朋友还是很和睦共处，
老友有时会打来kacau两下，
得空上msn联络感情，
学弟学妹们经过orientation week后，
大部分都记得我。
哈哈……
虽然留下的印象不是那么的好，
有些说我很凶……
不介意，
重要的是，
之后我会跟他们混得很熟！
哈哈……

喉咙痛

痛苦。
先是喉咙痒痒的，到现在声音也变了，开始痛了。
也不想再出声了。
走音的声音也不会好听到哪里去。
还好收了个乖buddy...
至少也不会气到我哪里去。
想对琴说，我本来收个ACS的女孩子的。
后来因为她一开始的态度不是很好，惹毛了我，我就没拿她做buddy.
现在收的是teluk intan那一带来的。
虽然我有点违例的手了个不是sitiawan来的，但是还好……
上头（4th year & 5th year ）都okay...
反而还站在我这边挺我。
真是感动。
原本以为我会被他们骂，因为收别人的关系，但后来，看到5th year buddy 那么挺我……
还臭骂了那个女孩一顿……
后来的我，真的有点为那个女孩心痛，因为后来的她，蛮okay了的。

拒绝了参加表演，惹怒了某些人。
是没办法中的办法。
不想为难自己做自己不愿意的事。
更何况，说难听点，我跟对方交情应该也没所谓的深。
所以，很大胆的拒绝了。

最近开始上课，不知是不是太久没上课的关系，还是什么的，
还是会打瞌睡。

心情麻麻地……
没太大起伏，只是觉得最近还是很倒霉……
细节懒得说……
下次再聊啦~

心学期，累！

这个学期还真的有点忙……
除了时间表还是有点匆忙外，课程也加深了。
一开始就来个public health……
不知该说容易还是难。
容易？容易理解吧……
说难？难在很闷，你根本没什么兴致去读它。
一开学就上课没精神。
不知是因为每天orientate学弟妹的关系，
还是我亲戚来访的关系，就是很累。
提不起精神。
加上一看就很闷的课程……唉……如果说好的开始就是成功的一半，那我肯定输了一半！
很衰的我，被选到要代表2nd year在faculty night 表演，
虽然说衣服，造型会是voir来赞助，但本人一想到在八月开始以前就要排舞，我就哭没泪水。
还好ajk要做的东西也不多，不用太劳累，不然我真的想退出，不干了！
一开学，就受到打击，该死的有些学弟还敢反过来气我！
让我一开学就火冒三丈！
现在的他看来也没多好受了。
唉，希望他能够坚强面对一切。

心学期，收了个buddy，还算不错啦。
蛮乖的。
那天跟co-buddy line的人去吃晚餐。
感觉4th year and 5th year 的buddy都很好。
虽然场面一度很冷，但是至少还是“好聚好散”。
哈哈……本人的4th year跟 5th year buddy感情超好。
看了本人都妒忌……哈哈。
接下来还要继续orientate juniors。
我不知不觉好像被灌上“最凶的学姐之一”
唉……
无言以对。

她说 -- 他说 2

他在假期里找了她两次。
他再次问她……

他希望，她可以给他一次机会……
让他好好照顾她……他希望是一辈子……

他希望他这一次，不会再失败。
因为，他明白，这次，他真的遇到了他一辈子应该守护的人。
他希望，她能够认真考虑他。
尽管她一而再拖着……
他愿意等。

对于她，她已经没有什么理由再拖、再假装了。
家人，亲友，都支持她……
甚至推她去与他搓对……
对她的家人来说，他的存在，能够照顾她，是件好事。

我妈妈的妈妈

妈妈的妈妈-简称婆婆
严格来说，是外婆。
外婆在我中三时也就是2004年七月去世了。
昨晚，我又梦见了她。
前阵子，没记错的话，在我醒着时，瞬间有想起她。
有想说，晚上做梦梦到她也不错。
结果，昨晚我就真的梦见了她。
很奇怪的事，每次梦见她，我都会记得。
有时晚上做梦，醒来后就不记得梦过什么。
可是，每次，我都记得她。
她去世时，我在她身旁，也很庆幸我又在场陪她，看着她离开这世界。
至少……她不孤单……

我，从小就跟外婆比较亲。
还记得，我曾经在某年的新年到外婆家过夜。
只有她，妈妈，与我。三个人……
在一间木屋里。
外婆家，很简单。
有着很古式的家具。
也许，比起现在一般人洋灰式的大楼，她的家显得简陋了很多。
可是，在那里，我找到了很熟悉的感觉，有时甚至觉得，比家更温暖。
因为，我的童年……都收藏在那里，也被埋在那里……
那一年的新年，我就最忘不了。
当时，我睡在很古式的床里，有蚊纱围绕着床。
有点公主式的感觉，但是，有点旧旧的床褥，跟有点脏脏感觉的蚊纱，没有风扇，怎么也称不上是公主式享受吧？
但，那天晚上的情景……再怎么，我想我怎么都忘不了，直到我双脚一伸吧……
半夜，很热，她，就睡在我身旁。
我迷迷糊糊，因为太热，而醒来了，微微的挣开眼睛，进入眼帘的是我这辈子也忘不了的。
她拿着三角椭圆自扇式的扇子，向我泼着。
微微，凉凉的，一阵一阵的……她没发觉我醒来……
我不知她扇了多久。
我不知那时几点。
我不知那时一股暖暖的感觉叫-感动。
隔天，被一阵阵的磨刀声，跟“哚、哚、哚”的声音吵醒。
起来，走向厨房，看到她蹲在那里，哈哈……在杀鸡！
妈妈在她旁边，显得什么都帮不上忙。
（虽然妈妈到现在杀鸡的功力也没好到哪里去）
那天，当然，有她最拿手的“红酒面线”吃啦~
小时候，我视她家为冒险之地，因为她家旁边有一个小小的树林，有小河。
所以，我常跟表兄弟姐妹们在那里捉鱼，採山竹吃，玩游戏等。
所以每次从那里回家后，我不是整身脏，就是满脚灰尘。
妈妈小时候不让我喝汽水，偏偏，外婆家就有很多玻璃瓶式的可口可乐。
而且从不缺货！
所以，我常常都偷跑进家里，开冰箱，拿了一瓶来喝。
而每次被老妈阻止时，外婆就会向我使眼色，叫我喝了的瓶子放进储存式里，
再从储存式里，拿回一瓶放回冰箱，就深不知鬼不觉啦？哈哈……
外婆疼我，我知道。
她常跟我闹着玩，说我长得像爸爸，不像妈妈。
而我就常常闹着她说我长得像妈妈，不像爸爸。
这些对白，就好像我们之间见面的开场白。
她有时也会叫我，xx子(意思就是：我爸的名字的孩子)
而我就是不肯她这么叫我，我还很大胆的说过，我不喜欢婆婆，我喜欢外婆。
而她就会“嘿”了一声，示意我不可以这么说。
可是的确，不能否认，我跟外婆相处的时间也比较多。

她去世的前一晚，妈带我去她家看她。
妈跟姨姨的谈话，跟爸爸的谈话，我下意识知道，她撑不了多久了。
那天晚上，我进到房间，看到她躺在床上，我没有哭。
妈问她还记得我吗，她说她记得，只是很简单的问我从哪里回来之类的话。
我就离开了她床边，一样的，我还是没哭。
尽管她看起来多憔悴，我还是没哭。
更何况姨姨吩咐过不要在她面前哭。
第二晚，姨姨跟几个亲戚们都挤满了房，我是其中一个。
挤在房里，我看着她，离开了。
最后一声，姨姨唤了她一声：妈……
她沉睡了……
众人哭成了一团。我离开了房，终于，哭了。
我清楚明白我失去了生命中重要的人。
后来，听说，她托梦给她最喜爱的孙媳妇，在梦里她驾着一辆车子来。
因而他们买了“万字”……还中了头奖。
依旧道教的说法，是她想让我们好好过以后的日子。
甚为基督教的我，依旧我的宗教，当然就不那么同意这种说法。
但是，它的确发生了……是好是坏，我深信，她-外婆，是个好人，她要我们好好过。
后来的日子，偶尔想起她，偶尔还是梦见她。
有时，回到那个熟悉的家，虽然人去楼空，野草众生，满是凄凉的感觉。
但走在那里，每一寸土地，都是我人生的一部分……我依然感觉她的同在。
她留给我太多回忆。我只能用回忆来追思她。

面包还是爱情？

各位…………
小女最近有个问题，想问大家意见………
身边的朋友有着这样的看法………
他们说：选择一个对你好，了解你以后工作性质的人；
总好过找一个你爱的人，但是是别个行业（格格不入的行业）的人………
比如说：大家会说医生绝对不能配律师！
一个是很有原则的人，一个是会把歪的讲成直的人。
所以，通常这两个职业的异性都不相吸的………
（也许有人会觉得这么说很土，很out………可是，仔细想想不是不可能发生的事）
可是，我就在想，别的行业又如何？
也许真的会在生活上有出入，不能一起工作，讨论工作上的问题………
可是，一生，需要跟一个自己爱的人一起走。
如果要说需要一个能够依靠的一起走也没错啦………
只是，如果心里最爱的那个不是陪伴自己一生的，那不是有点可悲吗？
往往我常听人说，你未来的另一半未必是你最深爱的人。
这也真的可能发生。
可是，如果要找个对自己好的人，其实如果对方真的喜欢你，一定会对你好的，这又算是什么“条件”呢？

至于职业嘛，其实是个人性格问题而已吧？
看彼此能不能接受大家的工作性质，接受一些可能因工作而产生的出入。
没必要说医生一定得配个医生吧？
虽然这样也会省下各种不必要的麻烦和误会，但是，要爱，就要勇敢面对问题啊………
就算你避得了一些问题，但是彼此不能谅解，没有达到共识，就算是职业相同，彼此相爱也未必能够走得远啊。
婚姻是两个人之间达到共识，决定拐手走下半辈子的路。当然共识就来自于爱。
可是，如果是因为对方的身份，条件，理由都跟自己很合而在一起的话，
好像怪怪的，像是有些地方出了问题，像是少了什么东西。

生活是现实的，有人会这么想，当然也是正常的。
只是难道人就应该随着生活的需求，而委身于中吗？
是这样的吗？

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

以上言论纯粹供讨论为题，无意针对谁而发表。

Live your life to the fullest...

Don't let someone become a priority in your life,
when you are just an option in their life...
Relationship work best when they are balanced.


Never explain yourself to anyone.
Because the person who likes you doesn't need it,
and the person who dislike you won't believe it.


When you keep saying you are busy,
then you are never free.
When you keep saying you have no time,
thn you will never have time.
When you keep saying that you will do it tomorrow,
then your tomorrow will never come.


When we wake up in the morning, we have two simple choices,
Go back to sleep and dream; or wake up and chase those dreams.
Choice is yours...


We make them cry who care for us,
We cry for those who never care for us.
And we care for those who will never cry for us.
This is the truth of life, it's strange but true.
Once you realize this, it's never too late to change.


Don't make promise when you are in joy.
Don't make reply when you are sad.
Don't take decision when you are angry.
Think twice, act wise...


Time is like a river,
you cannot touch the same water twice,
because the flow that had passed will never pass again.
Enjoy every moment of life.

怀旧/跨越？

我做到了！
奇迹！！
我做到了！！
不瞒你说………
我的双手现在是冰冷的………
脸色应该也美好看到那里去………
我想………
我作了个对的选择！！
哈哈………
我很庆幸我打了这通电话………
至少我明白了………
我知道了………
我要的答案我有了………
我松了一口气………


那童电话，我明白了。
怀旧/跨越？
我选择了怀旧。

熟悉的陌生

从学校回家，在车站遇到小学的好朋友-洁妮。
她还是老样子，笑声、谈吐、举止都没什么差别，但是多了一种熟悉的陌生。
小的时候，我们甚至可以交换日记来看，（也许她是有点被逼的给我看）哈哈。。
但是，从我的角度出发，当时我是超级单纯的交她这位朋友，从小学到我们被分班为止。
可惜的是，我们被分班以后，就鲜少再在一起了。
听说这是自然的，也是必然的。。。
同样的情况，同样的感觉，发生在不同的人身上。
因此，我可以说是失去了一些要好、纯粹谈心的朋友。
也许时间的磨练使人变了，但是，最初的感觉、回忆还在。
每当唤起那童年的回忆，总有想要以最单纯的感觉/角度出发-像当初那样。
但是，真的能否做得到呢？
也许能，但缺乏的是勇气。
没有勇气踏出第一步，什么可能性也谈不上。
害怕事情不会像自己想象的那样，害怕人变了，什么都不是了。
所以选择怯步，选择后退，选择逃跑。
没什么大不了，但或许我会得到什么，但是至少我并没因而失去些什么。
所以，与其有弊不如无利？
人长大了，往往思维变得复杂化。
还是保持着那份真挚单纯的心，恐怕难以生存。
太过于提心吊胆，恐怕自己终日一无所有。
人总在犯罪边缘徘徊着，只因世界变了，变得不再那么的单纯。

爸,父亲节快乐！老爸含蓄地笑了………

那天，老哥一句：爸,父亲节快乐！
老爸笑了………
我们从来以很很简单的方式来庆祝每个节日。
总是平平凡凡。
我有时还有点纳闷，为什么特别的节日不庆祝，枉费节日的意义。
今年的父亲节，我看见了一些……很真的感动：
老哥一个不留神，突然跑回家。
没通知谁，（包括我），就这么的突然回来了。
听他的语气，后来才发现，是因为父亲节。
老哥没带礼物，没特地请客，纯粹回来全家一起吃顿午饭（而且还是老爸自掏腰包的那种）
就这样-父亲节。
我一开始明白说其实他特地回来过个父亲节其实已经代表他有心，那就足够啦。。
但是，后来，在他去车站回吉隆坡之前，他说了那句话，我突然觉得：
其实最终的感动，是那句：爸，父-亲-节-快-乐-
老爸是含蓄的笑了。
那是最真的感动。
老爸没要我们请客（虽然他有要我用奖学金的钱请客，但是到后来，他还是自己付钱了）
原因是，他要的是我们洁身自爱，做好本份，把学历念高点，将来能够脚踏实地就好。
他不求我们送他什么，不求我们做些什么，只要我们健康长大，乖乖听话就好。
我们三兄妹常给你添麻烦，常给你伤脑筋，使得你白发鬓鬓，一个头两个大……
岁月在你脸上划下的皱纹是我们成长最好的见证。
爸，你真伟大！祝你父亲节快乐，愿平安、喜乐永远住在你心里。

假日日记

哈哈。。。被jessie骂为什么还不更新部落各。。
不好意思啦~放假嘛~
在家也没上网，就搁着咯。。
现在还特地抽空来更新呢！
Jessie还说从来不看华语版的部落格，我是第一个！
哈哈。。。谢谢你的支持~
假期在家，享受天伦之乐，还真的很天伦！
告诉你我每天的routine：
早上：跟爸妈喝茶去~
接下来：不然是去逛街，不然就是回家研发“蘑菇”/看戏/自娱
中午：吃午餐
接下来：现在回想起我还真的很佩服自己（我是怎么浪费时间的我也不记得了）
在家摇晃~摇晃~~继续摇晃~~（乖宝宝！不出街的咧！）哈哈。。
看看戏，继续看。。。
傍晚：时间到！去astaka跑步！（各位女士先生们，别怀疑你的眼睛，是的！我天天都去！！）
回家：冲凉吃晚饭~
上楼：继续自娱~
自娱~自娱~~到睡着。。
哈哈。。可见我有多逍遥~哈哈。。。过了几个礼拜，想说我明天得回校一趟。。
只能说这个月内巴士公司有我肯定不会倒闭！赚呆了我的钱！！
简直可以跟巴士司机交换电话号码，认识认识~~哈哈^^
假期期间，见了很多朋友，去了本地一些新开的店。。当然还是有跟我“前夫”麦片鱼还有雪熊到secret吃了三片蛋糕，跟dong去了麦当劳上网聊天，还去了shabu-shabu大聚会。
发现大家都有点点变了，变好看了，时髦了，帅了（麦片鱼，不用怀疑，这点我绝对不是在讲你）哈哈。。。
有的还是以电话联络着。。
至少此刻，这些日子，我过得特别好~！
像是我可以与家人一起去church。
朋友常常致电慰问。（像是我以前matrik的室友前两天还特地打来问好。超感动！）
哥哥默不作声的突然回来庆祝父情节。（昨天我还以为我有幻想症，听到我哥在楼下说话的声音，下来还真的看到他！恭喜！他给的surprise成功了！）
遇到什么问题时，都有大家的帮助！
有幸福的感觉。。
谢谢大家的关心！我还活着，而且活得很好~
真的很感动你们的支持（深深鞠躬）^^ARIGATO GOZAIMATSU~~
想说其实只要用心留意、感觉，其实幸福就在你身边！

fed up!!

** fed up!!!

离开k17,A22

今天正式离开这里，suppose是一个月，
不过大家，别问我为什么，probably两个礼拜后我得回来这里多一趟。
真是·！##！￥#·
这个月的交通费也花了不少，来来回回
只能说自己太过倒霉。
走狗屎运！

okay，今天不想再提那些。
现在是九点++
我已经收拾完毕，离开巴士票安的时间，我还有几小时，没事做，
可能会家这几个礼拜也不上网了，所以上来逛逛，说说近况。
2nd sem 的final终于过了。
开心~~~
哈哈。。
有点难以现象自己就是SENIOR的身份了。。
哈哈。。
收个小buddy，我定会疼死他！！
谁敢跟我作对！就是我的眼中钉！
哈哈。。。


一年，就这样过了。。
不知该说快还是慢。。
应该是恰到好处吧。。
感觉日子过得很慢的时候应该就是想家，面对挫折、问题的时候；
感觉日子过得快的时候呢，应该就是每个礼拜都评估，每天都得匆匆忙忙的去上课，重复着一样的动作；
两者加起来就得了个平衡。

就来离开A22，下个sem好像会换房，该死的stuff不让我们知道我们会搬到那间房，也不让我们拿钥匙，
结果也借别人的房间放。。
我还得领着大包小包独个人回家呢!
坐在近乎空荡荡的A22，（都被搬完了）
又有点感触。
A22！！ 还记得你们送我的生日卡，皮外面写着什么吗？
“我们肯定不是好朋友！”
里面是：
“因为我们的关系像一家人！”
真的！！
我们就像是一家人！
我们Share吃东西，我们share用餐具，我们互相照顾，我们互相扶持，我们体谅......
中间有愉快的，伤心的，兴奋的，生气的，难过的，绝望的...
我们都熬过来了！
我们每个人都有自己难忘的生日。
我们彼此计划大家的生日。。
过程都有点辛苦。。
但是却留下一生的回忆。
值得！
我们，认识不久，只有一年，但也许是住在一块的关系，
我们，早已摸清彼此的脾气，建立了一定的默契，有了一定的共识。。。
thank God 我被偏入与你们一起。
有很多回忆是我意想不到的。。
像是有人七早八早就被反锁在厕所，但是可能叫人也没人应，
（当时是凌晨四点多，再加上这位小姐的声音不大。所以即使我那么敏感的人~也听不到啦~）
还有一些“人”把火红色的内衣吊在厕所门，忘了拿，让其他的A22member以为那是拿来辟邪的作用还是。。。
还有一些更好笑，在走来客厅的时候身上竟然掉出一条不知“洗过没有”的低裤！！
此人功夫了得，怎么个变出个低裤出来，我到现在还不知道，你得自己去问她！哈哈。。。。
还有近来的，衣服掉下去楼下的晒衣架，以我们最creative的头脑想出来的方法竟然是：
拿抹地的mop弄湿so that 它有重量，再往那“目标”瞄准，再丢下去，去拉那几件衣服让它掉下底楼。
真是不亏是A22，丢了几次，还真的成功。。
但是此举竟然迎来对面房的人（认识的）拿相机拍下一切。。
过程笑死不偿命！

八个女生住在一起。。
真的有点难以想象。。
我们有pillow talk, 有冷战，有哭诉，有暗地里不爽。
可是其实这些都是回忆的一部分。。
我珍惜就算一些不好的事情比如暗地不爽，冷战之类的事情发生后，
现在我们还是保此友好的关系。。
我们还是能释怀，能体谅，能原谅，能forgive and forget...

就算A22接下来搬到别间家，但是，
A22 永远 就是 A22。
不能改变，也不会改变！

她说 -- 他说 之pizza 篇

他问：今晚我会出去，可能还蛮迟回的耶，你打算等我的晚餐吗？
她说：不了，我也不怎么饿，你就不必打包什么了。
他说：那我看看有什么比较“轻微”的，再买给你。
她答：不想吃辣，不想吃热的，体温有点高，很热。如果太夜了，你就不必打包了。

（始终，她不想麻烦他）

大约两小时后，


《一条新信息》

〈显示〉

你可以下来吗？

她随便拿了个手机，下楼去。



看见他，站在楼梯口
手里拿着大包小包，
一个是印有pizza的logo
她睁大眼睛看着那两包东西

他说：冷了，不热了，很好吃的哦！
她说：啊？？你怎么打包这个？？
他好像也没理她太多，就直接继续说：
我买了两罐一百号，你不是身体热吗？喝这个！会好点的。

闲聊了几句，他催出她回去
没带钱包下来，她只好向他解释，说再还他钱。
他却一副很认真的脸说：不必了，这是我买给你吃的，你快回去吧，加油啦~
她只好乖乖点头。
丢了一句她自己也听起来感觉没什么诚意的“谢啦”。
搞不懂。
回到房，放下那两袋有点重重的东西
打开，才看到那两罐一百号，愣！
没听清楚刚才他说是有两罐，有股暖暖的感觉在她心里滚动着。
她再打开一个小小的Pizza盒，看见被切成四块的小pizza。
很可爱，真的很可爱，小小的四块。
她嘴角勾起甜甜的笑容。




p/s :本人后来也有“分享”到那其中一块pizza.的确哦！好吃耶~哈哈。。。

她说 -- 他说 1

那天**


她就坐在他旁边。
微风轻轻的吹着他们俩。
她扮演着聆听者的角色。
听着他倾诉着内心的感觉。
她偶尔撇过头，瞄了他几眼，
但大多时间，她都静视着刺眼的强光，
只因她不想任何情绪上的波动被他发现，
偶尔勾起嘴角，形成美丽的弧度。

他以傻笑，自嘲来掩饰紧张。
她明白，因而只默默地听着。
他说他不想再欺骗自己，
他说他明白自己想要的，
他不想再伤害自己深爱的人。
若要在朋友与深爱的人之间选择，
他宁愿保护一个自己深爱的人。
他说，他曾经伤害了一次，不愿再伤害第二次。
她知道他说着的那个女孩是她，
心仍然隐隐作痛，
她鼓起了勇气，吐了几句话：你怎么保证这一点？
她看着他，他深深吐了几个字：我不会保证你写什么，我只知道我不想再伤害你。
听着他说着说着，莫名的她深信他说的。



她怕，她怕历史再度重演，
她再度鼓起勇气，问了一句听起来有点笨笨的话：
我希望你想清楚才回答我：我能够相信你吗？
再她内心深处，她知道她必须搞清楚，在把心交出来之前，
在避免再次被伤害，她必须问，虽然这一切听起来真的有点蠢，
但，为了认认真真的面对问题，她，抛下自尊，问了。


他毫不犹豫，肯定得点了点头，说了声“是！”
她懊恼她像是不经过大脑的回答，
他却说：并不用怀疑，因为，我相信你，你会相信我。
对他的答案，她眼睛笑了。



明天她得面对考试，他明白，也担心。
最后补上了几句话。但女孩却没听进去。
因为......





* 他紧紧地握着她的左手，
紧紧地。。。
让她有点透不过气，
脑袋一片空白。
从他手中传来的温度，是热的。
是一股真实的热度。
她的心，被楸得紧紧的。。。
就像那双被楸着的左手。。。
心顿时麻痹了。。。


他放开了她的手，
在她作出任何反应之前。
她抛了个结论给他。
希望他明白，她要的是什么。。


战战兢兢的离开了篮球场。
她带着手中的温度，炽热的脸颊，抽畜着的心，
迅速的离开了。


她恋爱了？

超级无敌废！

考了很欠大的问卷。。。
一整夜没睡觉。。
还破天荒地喝了人生第一瓶“鸡精”。。
搞到整个人像个活死人。。。
明天还得考那该死的OSPE。。。
老师说很没心情考了。。
拼到尽，却反而更没信心做。。
考试，到底为了什么？
烦！
不过可以想象明天一考完试的心情。。。
A22 GANG像往常一样应该也会去靠近的购物广场逛逛，顺便看个戏才回来。。
除了一些是“佳人有约的”。。。
那就祝你有个愉快的约会啦~
唉。。。
有点不知死活。。
由于今天的SAQ 希望破灭。。
大家都攻OSPE，希望拉高会分数。。
所以大家看起来都特别拼。。
我还有时间BLOG。。。
哈哈哈。。
可笑！
本人是被压得有点喘不过气才上来的。。
不然，也不会违背良心，（尤其刚刚又被学长催我读书）
闷到。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。

最近没什么胃口，没什么吃得下。。
不知是不是“生理”问题。。
精神也逐渐由下滑的迹象。。。
进来读医科，像老了十年。。
看回当初一进来就拍的照片，还真的“成熟”不少。。
哈哈。。。
不知是喜是悲。。。
唉~

纯粹上来废废两下
所以文章也特别废。。
吃点可能会写下身边一些精彩的故事
是什么事？怎样发生？发生在谁身上？等等疑问就别提了。。
我会以当事人的角度出发。
代笔写下心情，感觉，爱.
大家尽请期待我的《散文》！
还真的会很散的那种！哈哈。。。

finally...

yes, people...
you all get to see me on 8th june 2009 ...
at first, i thought it was really a shame of it...
after all, yes, i'm not as worse as i thought i was...
after all, yes, i'm still a quite hard working student in my point of view..
at least, i attend those classes that i think it's important...
and i skip the classes that i rather read on my own...as everyone does so...
i'm sorry to being *impolite* right now especially to those prof profsss doctor doctorssss...
now i realised that the meeting was just a self-defence meeting...
it's not a" listen-to-ur explaination" meeting...
those who are good in talk and persuade... congrates...
i'm not angry or what ...
and it's my fault after all...
not here to blaming anyone...
it is just that the meeting is su*ks!!!



wasting time and money...travel back from my hometown ...
troubled both my brothers...
troubled my dad who actually wants to send me here UPM
make my mum worried why i need to back on spot after the call...
just for the meeting...
and what?? the doctorss said the excuse is not reasonable.???


you guys wont know how i was frightened by the call...
i was actually shuddering, and my mind was in a mess...
i couldnt think of what to do...
after calling my buddy, seniors and friends...
i slowly calm myself down and start pack my stuff up...
it was really ridiculous...and funny as well...
call me today right on 12 and ask me back on 3:30?
people!! i'm not living at KLIA okay?? travel by aeroplane ar???
sakai betul!!!!


okay...
anyhow, arguements were made, running around to find those doctors...
and finally, i take up "christine's" advise..
it was too late as it was already thursday...
take it as a lesson...
and thanks DR. Niazlin after all...
i know u tried to help me a lot...
thanks...i really appreciate it...
thanks christine that all she had done...
as i know the process of being a doctor is not that easy and smooth...
i will take it as a small obstacle in my life...
i'm not that easily gave up what i want...
and it's not worthy !!


okay...
i need to go back to my seat and start study for the final...
i will fight for it!!


prof H.
you will see me tough!!

it was a happening day...

people...
i'm here again...
not with a happy mood nor a exciting mood..
i'm kind of sentimental...
cant really control my emotion well...
when i get angry u can see frm my face...
when i'm happy, u can see me singing around and jumping here and there...
when i'm touched, tears start dropping like pipe...
when i'm sorry, i will show u the "sorry face"
when i'm sad, i will just listen to music with headset with the music opened to the loudest ..
when i'm nervous, u can see me walking around and eyeball keep on rolling here and there...
i'm born in such a way that, i cant really control the emotion frm showing it on my face...by my body language...

woke up at 6:30...lying on bed with clear mind...
thinking of what to say later...
washed face...wearing formal...
prayed...wearing the little white shoe..
here i go...
one step by one step..
i can see cars moving in to FPSK..
i can see trees and birds are surrouding k17.
and i see the 4th floor...of the faculty...
and i go inside, lift stop functioning...
i go up by staircase...
and i see no one there...but a cleaner...
replacing the plastic bag for the dustbin...
and i look at him...he looked at me with a weird face...
i wait...
5 mins...
10 mins...
15 mins...
i see somebody coming up...
dr. farida..she ask me to wait for a while with the sweet voice that actually calm me abit ...
and wait...
i can see the one who call me (i think she is ) comming out frm the meeting room and giving a paper to sign for it..
the time written there for the meeting to start is 8 :30
and i heard pn alia calling someone and ask the person to contact dr.shiran and so on people to come...
i start nervous...
i cant stop "goyang kaki"...
practise again what to talk...
memorise what to tell...
and then...
bout 8:20 i think they give up to wait somemore...
and pn. alia ask me to go inside..
with the heart beat 200...
i go...
sit in front of' em..
i smile..
good morning i greet...
it's much more terrible then if u go for the audition..
the singing competition ...
the viva as well...
all together they all gave me a smile if not mistaken...
coz i'm just take a glance on everyone...
and they start questioning me...

and.....


**************************************************************************
now.....

being very honest, i'm at library...
just came back frm the meeting held to defend myself to go for the exam...
with the oedema eyes, (u guys know wat happened when i said this)..
i cried not because of i'm happy or touched...
i cried coz i'm worried..
i'm raelly worried...
that what prof hamid said: i have to be fair to everyone..
like prof khatiza said: u should have known...
like dr. niazlin said: ur explaination is not solid enough...
like deputy dean said: how far u travel back frm perak?
like those sit there keep quiet with the eyes starring at me...
how i wish it was just a dream...
how i wish....
it was a nightmare for me...
when those doctors listening to my explaination, quietly, calmly...
i'm just not used to it..
like last time...everytime i go for the piano practical...
i just cant control...just cant control the hormone changed inside my body...
the nasocramial duct keep on secreting isotonic solution...
i just cant control my words being said clearly ...
i just lose the control...
i'm just rather disappointed with myself..
how can i be so muddled...
how can i do this kind of mistake...
i should have always remind myself...
but everything seems to be late...
my excuses are not reasonable when they said : do u have any other explaination?
my brain stop functioning on the spot they ask like this...
i just dont know what to say and what explaination should i give somemore..
it's rather hard for me...


****************************************************************************

right now, sitting calm in front of pc 3..
but still cant stop thinking of the scene happened just now..
can i go for the exam?
can i??
i just beg for the chance..
i dont want to take the consequences...
what i can said is just sorry...
i'm really sorry..
disappointment and sorrow-ness are deep inside me...
it just my fault...





right now i do not know what to do...
and my mind cant stop thinking of what can i do next and i just cant focus for my final anymore...
til they tell me i can sit for the exam..
cant imagine that... i go for the exam, and some people or one of those prof come and check for my matriks card and said: u cant take this exam and please leave the hall now!
i just cant imagine that happened to me..
thax buddy...
for ur consolation,
for ur companion,
for ur effort to making me laugh,
for u were trying to say sth else to distract me...
i appreciate it..
i have no one to call..
not suitable to call anyone..
hopeless, and loneliness are right besides me...
cant really forgive myself of doing such mistake...
how can beg for the understanding frm those prof if even i cant forgive myself...


*****************************************************************************

i'm kind of wasting time here for those who still work hard for the exam...
happy birthday to shing hui and hui fen..
happy birthday to en wan (23rd)
happy birthday to eggy su (22nd)
happy birthday to those having birthday soon...
with the best regards from me...



i hope i will be okay...

i will find the strength ...

sigh...it's been a few days didnt get good sleep...
final is coming very soon but yet i am still not ready for it..
and start wondering how to study for those mpe mmb and nm ...
honestly saying, i dont like them!!
systems are more easier for me to understand though i didnt score well in them but, at least i didnt lose my interest on them..


*******************************************************************************


just finished my nm assesment...
and dont ask me how was it..
i have no comment at all..
dont know is it because of my buddy told me the result wont be out or some of the people say it's not that important..
okay, let's back talking bout myself..
assesment is nothing !

it's been two years since i left secondary school..
and very sad to say that, last night when i was lying on bed, staring on those weight lose, nutrients etc....notes..
i have counted how many of my secondary schoolmates and those who considered as my best friend still in contact with me, still having a close relationship to me..
i found that, there's not that much...
i lose some of them...
i know, though we are still tapek on each other when we see each other but i know, we are not as close as last time..
sigh... i admit sometimes, i just dont know how to maintain the relationship, and i keep on use "i'm busy" as a excuse for me to not to contact with them...
i would like to apologize here to all of them...

I'M SO SORRY~~

yet, i still cant really take up some actions...
people who know me will know the reason why..
i cant really mix up well and start a topic to chat with those i lose contact long time ago..
it's like there's a gap between us, and there's too fake to start chatting how are u doing recently?
some of my friend do tell me that, just "fu yan"..
but somehow, i'm uneasy to do that...
so, most of the time, i will stay quiet and just listen to others, and then soon i will start get bored, and if there's a next time gathering, i will not appear anymore..haha..
that's me...
i would not say it's a good thing to be like me..
but life is just stick to yourself...who you are and what you have and seek for what you want ...
i dont think i wanna make my life complicated...
i do meet some of the people outside there, they make their life easier as they go for what they want , they tell what's in their mind..and they treat people with their true heart...and that's the way i think why they got so many friends around them...
i DO feel sad when i found myself do not have much friend..
but i never regret or doubt to be --myself...
at least, i'm not lost yet, i'm still ME..
unlike some of the cases i met is they often fake when they mix up with people until at the end,they dont recognize themselves and start to get depressed..
they dont live in happiness as they keep on fake...

not to criticize, not in purpose to change their mind, just expressing my opinion here as i think they will continue to be unhappy till one day they really express themselves..


********************************************************************************

being very honest here, i want to share sth bout my "relationship"
i'm still S.A.D...
properly dont have "D" lar..
hmm...those who want to know what S.A.D stands for just come ask me privately lar..
haha..
hmm... i gt some puppy love before, though some of my friends think that it's kind of too dramatic or "fooling people"...
but i'm happy and glad that i've experienced those so called "puppy-love"..
many of my ex schoolmates often ask, am i in a relationship..and once i said NO..then they start to doubt that what i tell is untrue...
i dont know why they dont believe and until i said i'm being "lelong" now but still i'm not sold...haha...and then only they start to believe and start to doubt whether is it because of i "look too high" and cant see the people under me...
okay...hmm...i'm here again to explain again, i'm single..
not in purpose to start "lelong" myself here..but just to tell those who really "concern" bout my current status... 38!!


Yes, once i thought i found it, i thought i was loved... i thought i falled in love... but somehow i lose it...
AGAIN, once i thought this is the person ... but AGAIN, it's NOT...
i'm not rush for a relationship as one of my friend said " Learn how to Love God before u Love someone else" "make sure you are ready before u start a relationship" "dont get in a relationship without consideration just because of you are kong xu" etc...
i know,, and thanks my friends that reminding me...
i know...
i easily to "bertindak terburu-buru" when things come to relationship..
i follow the feeling inside me...and that's always make me being fooled..
i'm not going to say myself to be not clever enough as i think there's no marks, it's not an exam or what...
we can't really use our logic thinking to solve the feeling inside us..
it's sth out-of-control sometimes...
and those who use their logic think to apply on "LOVE"...i think they dont really understand what is LOVE yet...
(jeh...being pro man! haha..)
no lar, just here to share my opinion...

yes, we all seek for LOVE...
we all need in the age of finding partner...
finding someone who really know us well and walk by us when we are in trouble..
but it's not that easy to "find" or even "wait " for the person to appear in life..
but trust me, there'll be someone ...
waiting you...
at the middle of your life...
he/she will be the one you long for...
he/she will be the one that you can hand over your life for...

OR,

even this person already appear in your life..
but it's just the matter of time...
you need to wait for it...while you have to go on with your life alone, carry up the Love from friends, the Love from family and the LOVE FROM GOD...


there will be someone there...

p/s : recommend a song again here (footprints in the sand by leona lewis) .the lyric means so much~~~


till here...

God bless everyone...
you will see me become more tough and tough!!
chao~

life is miserable IF i'm studying nutrition.

what i wanna shout out here loud is...
i hate nutrition!!!
study one small sheet of note also need about one hour...
what i really hate is those useless weight control, interaction between nutrients, minerals and vitamin...
aduh...hate betol!!!
tuesday need to sit for the assesment, friday another assesment for alimentary system..
dont know how to sit for the assesment for nutrition ...
frankly to said, didnt really attend most of the class..
coz it's kind of wasting time sitting there and listen, i rather study myself than listen to the lecture..


**************************************************************************


Final coming soon after this, still havent really get prepared..
study week will go back home..
home sweet home..
at least i no need to think of where to settle my meals, and have to wash my own clothes..
1st time try to study at home, hope that can concentrate well at home..
this will decide whether i need to come back here k17 alone while others are enjoying their holidays..
Cameron highland, ipoh, penang etc.. plan hope will be run as usual..
God please bless me much...


**************************************************************************


yes, people i know i shall not sitting in front of the laptop and blogging right now, but just gve me 10 minutes to finish it..
recently, find out that the rumour starts again..
sigh...
people, why you all so excited??
really cant really understand...
these people are meaningful to me and special to me as well..
i DO NOT know why u all wanna translate the relationship between these people with me to become sth like "doubtful" or " dubious"...
different gender cant be best friend is it?
DUH...
they have special role playing in my life, they are nice people who really treat me nice...
IF there's really sth between us, then why not i admit it?
sigh...
whatever how u guys wanna think of it lar...
i'm just here to express my disappointment towards those who really trust the rumour..



back to the seat. * study * AGAIN~ sigh...

i just wanna blog..about you...

It's Your Love - tim mcgraw and faith hill

that's in the dark
middle of the night takin your heart
and holdin'it tight

emotional touch
toughin' my skin
and askin you to do
what you've been doin' all over again

oh, it's a beautiful thing
dont think i can keep it all in
i just gotta let u know
what it is that wont let me go

it's your love
it just does somethin to me
it sends a shock right through me
i cant's get enough
so if you wonder
about the spell i'm under
it's your love.







now i wonder, why people said there is sometimes when things is better not to say it out than you tell.
i'm born with quite high sensitive to things that happened ...
sometimes, it's a good thing yes...
but sometimes, i think it quite often irritate me...
or change the way i say, i suppose people, or human being should at least has their own natural ability to sense sth dangerous or something weird what...
how come we need to transfer the message out by words only some people will know?
other than that, is there any better way to transfer message like body language?
is it that i need to smash the table when i'm angry only you will know i'm angry right NOW.?
haiz...
the solution not to damage the relationship among these "human beings" the only thing i can do is... endure...



p/s: thax for those who understand me, you may think of you didnt help me much but at least u let me know that i'm not over-sensitive as you let me know that, you also sense the same thing as mine, and think in the way i think...thax!


*************************************************************************

by the way, i start to miss my secondary school who always gila gila around with me..
crap jokes, and gossip around...that's the way we communicate?
haha..nope, we are more than that...
we share tears, we share our happiness, we share our memories too..
but somehow, lack of time to gather actually make some of the relationship changed..
some of them are not that close to me now, though i still treat them as my best friend..
haiz...just let everything go on in their natural way ba...
i cant force thing to happen in what i expect...
enjoy the current life.. and live the life to the fullest !!


*********************************************************************************


you!
yes, it's you...
i'm talking bout you...
never think of u can influence me so easily...
dont feel like wanna depend on u...
dont really feel like wanna let u know that i always seek for your help...
dont really hope that u realize the true "ME" is that dependent...
dont really wanna let u know the true ME -- the "little mui mui zai"...
i know i can stop all these...
and you will remain special to me...
ever...



******************************************************************************


let's call this fella as " thirdy "
there's so much misunderstand between us...
no matter it's before we lose contact or after ...
i'm so guilty that i didnt tell u that i never forget everything that happened when we are "best friend" ever...
i never forget bout the nun uni kada rikiden...
i never forget that you insist to bring the math question paper to my house even it's already 1am midnight with the lightning and wind blowing outside...
i'm still touched everytime i recall it bout the memories between us...
just wanna admit here, i'm thinking of you right now..
there's no possibility that we may become like last time...
i know, and i didn't even dare to ask for it...
yes, i know somehow, i had hurt u, so deeply that ...
u can said those words to me...
maybe it's kind of take revenge? lol...
let's take it as if u are to take revenge..
yes, u success, it make a deep scar in my heart...
you are so important to me last time...
and this lead to the scar will remain in my heart for my life...
i wont angry with u, and i'm not ...
maybe to u, i deserve it...
but IF, IF.....
if u know that i never forget ? and i always take it in heart??
if i had told u that i still remember and you are special to me no matter who you are?
if i have told u...
if i never said that...
if i apologise...
if i...
will you??
everything seems gone after that day...
you are sensitive as me...
i know why u act on that way...
but sorry... i didnt think of ur feeling...sorry that i didnt admit...
coz that time i just dont know how to react or continue if i admit...
thousand words i feel like wanna tell ...
but we got no chance anymore...
and i know i shouldnt disturb your life anymore...
just hope that u can live ur life happily...
and forget me as u can...
i know you can...

憋尿感言~

大家！
我又回归了！！
哈哈。。。
其实算是带着一个复杂的心情回来。。
四天在家里。。
真的什么压力都没有，很轻松自在的活着。。
生命的意义顿时是那么的有价值！哈哈。。
跟哥哥闹在一块儿玩。。
虽然二哥还是很嘴贱的说我的腿“吃三年都吃不完！”，“你真的需要减肥了！越来越肥，肥婆！”哈哈。。
无语啦。。随便啦，尽量克制啦~
很无忧无虑的过了那么轻松的几天，真的有点不舍得回来。。
买的车票有点迟，三点半的。
加上坐srimaju 的，有点慢，因为绕怡保回kl。。。
再加上一路塞车，还真的有点闷！
还好，半路上了一个“长相不错的异性”（还坐我前面的那种。）是有一点爽到啦！哈哈。。
不过，一件非常值得提的事想在这里说：
憋尿真的不是盖的“爽”！
其实已开始就有点有要micturate的感觉，因为妈在身边陪我说话。
也不想浪费时间去厕所，再加上上个厕所还要缴个三角钱！
算了吧。。
上车时，不回头一路潇洒的走向巴士！
所谓的潇洒，其实只是怕自己会不舍得，不争气的多余水分会从眼角跑出来。。
所以，潇洒的上了车，坐下，看着手机，不想抬头。。
知道老爸妈一定会跟我掰掰。
结果还是抬了头，望出窗，还真的是挥手。。
我是带着微笑挥了挥手。心想：两个礼拜罢了！！我会回来的！

***********************************************************


谁知，因为不排尿，这还真的害得我惨！
越来越急，车又一直跳。。
我的尿袋真的有要爆的感觉。
很痛苦。我还夸张到祷告只要巴士停，我以后一定会不做坏事之类的。。
神经病！可是，当我看着歇息站就从我眼前滑过，我还真的有冲动跑到前面捉巴士司机的领子起来，盖他几巴掌！
为什么不停啊！
我还真的是涨到肚子都打起来。。
开始有痛的感觉。。
如果700ml是爆肛的时候，我想当时我应该有699.9ml吧！！
痛耶！！ 我继续祷告，脸部表情应该也没好到哪里去。。
你们应该会觉得我为什么都不向巴士司机停？
谁没想过阿！可是我坐里面。。
作我隔壁的是一个蛮老的阿伯了咧！
在怎样我也不好意思叫他借过吧？
而且我那是真的就来爆的感觉。。
尽量不想，催眠自己，sakai到sms老豆告诉他我就来失禁了！
怎知，老哥尽然还sms来perli我：
“sayang, dah sampai ke belum??? dah kencing ke sayang?!! ”
!@$#$%&^&@#$#$^%^
只能说，尿袋！你一定要争气点！！

忍。。。
忍！！！
忍！！！！！！！



昏昏迷迷的，撑开眼一看，休息站！！！
巴士还没停，我就已经站起来了。。
谁知！！！

厕所爆满！！！
排到夸张的长！！
有几个安綈还插队！
不管了，我也插！！！
谁要是敢说两句话我还真的会骂人！！
急到~~！！！！！
等！！
我忍！！！
终于明白厕所的重要性！


解放了后，很得意的走出来看到还有很长的龙。。
哈哈。。。我解放了~~！！
你们慢慢等啦~
买了个100plus也没太喝。。
真的怕了忍尿！！
还真的会尿毒！不良示范！小朋友别学~哈哈。。
八点多后才到PUDU..
一个朋友来接送，终于也安全到家。。


回家这几天，只能说，我没后悔过。。
很开心，很轻松。。
RECHARGED！！！
我会从新拼过的！！
哈哈。。
虽然我还没有心准备就来到的考试。。
不知死活。。
可是，总之到时一定会温习的！
哈哈。。。本人有点堕落。。