fed up!!

** fed up!!!

离开k17,A22

今天正式离开这里，suppose是一个月，
不过大家，别问我为什么，probably两个礼拜后我得回来这里多一趟。
真是·！##！￥#·
这个月的交通费也花了不少，来来回回
只能说自己太过倒霉。
走狗屎运！

okay，今天不想再提那些。
现在是九点++
我已经收拾完毕，离开巴士票安的时间，我还有几小时，没事做，
可能会家这几个礼拜也不上网了，所以上来逛逛，说说近况。
2nd sem 的final终于过了。
开心~~~
哈哈。。
有点难以现象自己就是SENIOR的身份了。。
哈哈。。
收个小buddy，我定会疼死他！！
谁敢跟我作对！就是我的眼中钉！
哈哈。。。


一年，就这样过了。。
不知该说快还是慢。。
应该是恰到好处吧。。
感觉日子过得很慢的时候应该就是想家，面对挫折、问题的时候；
感觉日子过得快的时候呢，应该就是每个礼拜都评估，每天都得匆匆忙忙的去上课，重复着一样的动作；
两者加起来就得了个平衡。

就来离开A22，下个sem好像会换房，该死的stuff不让我们知道我们会搬到那间房，也不让我们拿钥匙，
结果也借别人的房间放。。
我还得领着大包小包独个人回家呢!
坐在近乎空荡荡的A22，（都被搬完了）
又有点感触。
A22！！ 还记得你们送我的生日卡，皮外面写着什么吗？
“我们肯定不是好朋友！”
里面是：
“因为我们的关系像一家人！”
真的！！
我们就像是一家人！
我们Share吃东西，我们share用餐具，我们互相照顾，我们互相扶持，我们体谅......
中间有愉快的，伤心的，兴奋的，生气的，难过的，绝望的...
我们都熬过来了！
我们每个人都有自己难忘的生日。
我们彼此计划大家的生日。。
过程都有点辛苦。。
但是却留下一生的回忆。
值得！
我们，认识不久，只有一年，但也许是住在一块的关系，
我们，早已摸清彼此的脾气，建立了一定的默契，有了一定的共识。。。
thank God 我被偏入与你们一起。
有很多回忆是我意想不到的。。
像是有人七早八早就被反锁在厕所，但是可能叫人也没人应，
（当时是凌晨四点多，再加上这位小姐的声音不大。所以即使我那么敏感的人~也听不到啦~）
还有一些“人”把火红色的内衣吊在厕所门，忘了拿，让其他的A22member以为那是拿来辟邪的作用还是。。。
还有一些更好笑，在走来客厅的时候身上竟然掉出一条不知“洗过没有”的低裤！！
此人功夫了得，怎么个变出个低裤出来，我到现在还不知道，你得自己去问她！哈哈。。。。
还有近来的，衣服掉下去楼下的晒衣架，以我们最creative的头脑想出来的方法竟然是：
拿抹地的mop弄湿so that 它有重量，再往那“目标”瞄准，再丢下去，去拉那几件衣服让它掉下底楼。
真是不亏是A22，丢了几次，还真的成功。。
但是此举竟然迎来对面房的人（认识的）拿相机拍下一切。。
过程笑死不偿命！

八个女生住在一起。。
真的有点难以想象。。
我们有pillow talk, 有冷战，有哭诉，有暗地里不爽。
可是其实这些都是回忆的一部分。。
我珍惜就算一些不好的事情比如暗地不爽，冷战之类的事情发生后，
现在我们还是保此友好的关系。。
我们还是能释怀，能体谅，能原谅，能forgive and forget...

就算A22接下来搬到别间家，但是，
A22 永远 就是 A22。
不能改变，也不会改变！

她说 -- 他说 之pizza 篇

他问：今晚我会出去，可能还蛮迟回的耶，你打算等我的晚餐吗？
她说：不了，我也不怎么饿，你就不必打包什么了。
他说：那我看看有什么比较“轻微”的，再买给你。
她答：不想吃辣，不想吃热的，体温有点高，很热。如果太夜了，你就不必打包了。

（始终，她不想麻烦他）

大约两小时后，


《一条新信息》

〈显示〉

你可以下来吗？

她随便拿了个手机，下楼去。



看见他，站在楼梯口
手里拿着大包小包，
一个是印有pizza的logo
她睁大眼睛看着那两包东西

他说：冷了，不热了，很好吃的哦！
她说：啊？？你怎么打包这个？？
他好像也没理她太多，就直接继续说：
我买了两罐一百号，你不是身体热吗？喝这个！会好点的。

闲聊了几句，他催出她回去
没带钱包下来，她只好向他解释，说再还他钱。
他却一副很认真的脸说：不必了，这是我买给你吃的，你快回去吧，加油啦~
她只好乖乖点头。
丢了一句她自己也听起来感觉没什么诚意的“谢啦”。
搞不懂。
回到房，放下那两袋有点重重的东西
打开，才看到那两罐一百号，愣！
没听清楚刚才他说是有两罐，有股暖暖的感觉在她心里滚动着。
她再打开一个小小的Pizza盒，看见被切成四块的小pizza。
很可爱，真的很可爱，小小的四块。
她嘴角勾起甜甜的笑容。




p/s :本人后来也有“分享”到那其中一块pizza.的确哦！好吃耶~哈哈。。。

她说 -- 他说 1

那天**


她就坐在他旁边。
微风轻轻的吹着他们俩。
她扮演着聆听者的角色。
听着他倾诉着内心的感觉。
她偶尔撇过头，瞄了他几眼，
但大多时间，她都静视着刺眼的强光，
只因她不想任何情绪上的波动被他发现，
偶尔勾起嘴角，形成美丽的弧度。

他以傻笑，自嘲来掩饰紧张。
她明白，因而只默默地听着。
他说他不想再欺骗自己，
他说他明白自己想要的，
他不想再伤害自己深爱的人。
若要在朋友与深爱的人之间选择，
他宁愿保护一个自己深爱的人。
他说，他曾经伤害了一次，不愿再伤害第二次。
她知道他说着的那个女孩是她，
心仍然隐隐作痛，
她鼓起了勇气，吐了几句话：你怎么保证这一点？
她看着他，他深深吐了几个字：我不会保证你写什么，我只知道我不想再伤害你。
听着他说着说着，莫名的她深信他说的。



她怕，她怕历史再度重演，
她再度鼓起勇气，问了一句听起来有点笨笨的话：
我希望你想清楚才回答我：我能够相信你吗？
再她内心深处，她知道她必须搞清楚，在把心交出来之前，
在避免再次被伤害，她必须问，虽然这一切听起来真的有点蠢，
但，为了认认真真的面对问题，她，抛下自尊，问了。


他毫不犹豫，肯定得点了点头，说了声“是！”
她懊恼她像是不经过大脑的回答，
他却说：并不用怀疑，因为，我相信你，你会相信我。
对他的答案，她眼睛笑了。



明天她得面对考试，他明白，也担心。
最后补上了几句话。但女孩却没听进去。
因为......





* 他紧紧地握着她的左手，
紧紧地。。。
让她有点透不过气，
脑袋一片空白。
从他手中传来的温度，是热的。
是一股真实的热度。
她的心，被楸得紧紧的。。。
就像那双被楸着的左手。。。
心顿时麻痹了。。。


他放开了她的手，
在她作出任何反应之前。
她抛了个结论给他。
希望他明白，她要的是什么。。


战战兢兢的离开了篮球场。
她带着手中的温度，炽热的脸颊，抽畜着的心，
迅速的离开了。


她恋爱了？

超级无敌废！

考了很欠大的问卷。。。
一整夜没睡觉。。
还破天荒地喝了人生第一瓶“鸡精”。。
搞到整个人像个活死人。。。
明天还得考那该死的OSPE。。。
老师说很没心情考了。。
拼到尽，却反而更没信心做。。
考试，到底为了什么？
烦！
不过可以想象明天一考完试的心情。。。
A22 GANG像往常一样应该也会去靠近的购物广场逛逛，顺便看个戏才回来。。
除了一些是“佳人有约的”。。。
那就祝你有个愉快的约会啦~
唉。。。
有点不知死活。。
由于今天的SAQ 希望破灭。。
大家都攻OSPE，希望拉高会分数。。
所以大家看起来都特别拼。。
我还有时间BLOG。。。
哈哈哈。。
可笑！
本人是被压得有点喘不过气才上来的。。
不然，也不会违背良心，（尤其刚刚又被学长催我读书）
闷到。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。

最近没什么胃口，没什么吃得下。。
不知是不是“生理”问题。。
精神也逐渐由下滑的迹象。。。
进来读医科，像老了十年。。
看回当初一进来就拍的照片，还真的“成熟”不少。。
哈哈。。。
不知是喜是悲。。。
唉~

纯粹上来废废两下
所以文章也特别废。。
吃点可能会写下身边一些精彩的故事
是什么事？怎样发生？发生在谁身上？等等疑问就别提了。。
我会以当事人的角度出发。
代笔写下心情，感觉，爱.
大家尽请期待我的《散文》！
还真的会很散的那种！哈哈。。。

finally...

yes, people...
you all get to see me on 8th june 2009 ...
at first, i thought it was really a shame of it...
after all, yes, i'm not as worse as i thought i was...
after all, yes, i'm still a quite hard working student in my point of view..
at least, i attend those classes that i think it's important...
and i skip the classes that i rather read on my own...as everyone does so...
i'm sorry to being *impolite* right now especially to those prof profsss doctor doctorssss...
now i realised that the meeting was just a self-defence meeting...
it's not a" listen-to-ur explaination" meeting...
those who are good in talk and persuade... congrates...
i'm not angry or what ...
and it's my fault after all...
not here to blaming anyone...
it is just that the meeting is su*ks!!!



wasting time and money...travel back from my hometown ...
troubled both my brothers...
troubled my dad who actually wants to send me here UPM
make my mum worried why i need to back on spot after the call...
just for the meeting...
and what?? the doctorss said the excuse is not reasonable.???


you guys wont know how i was frightened by the call...
i was actually shuddering, and my mind was in a mess...
i couldnt think of what to do...
after calling my buddy, seniors and friends...
i slowly calm myself down and start pack my stuff up...
it was really ridiculous...and funny as well...
call me today right on 12 and ask me back on 3:30?
people!! i'm not living at KLIA okay?? travel by aeroplane ar???
sakai betul!!!!


okay...
anyhow, arguements were made, running around to find those doctors...
and finally, i take up "christine's" advise..
it was too late as it was already thursday...
take it as a lesson...
and thanks DR. Niazlin after all...
i know u tried to help me a lot...
thanks...i really appreciate it...
thanks christine that all she had done...
as i know the process of being a doctor is not that easy and smooth...
i will take it as a small obstacle in my life...
i'm not that easily gave up what i want...
and it's not worthy !!


okay...
i need to go back to my seat and start study for the final...
i will fight for it!!


prof H.
you will see me tough!!

it was a happening day...

people...
i'm here again...
not with a happy mood nor a exciting mood..
i'm kind of sentimental...
cant really control my emotion well...
when i get angry u can see frm my face...
when i'm happy, u can see me singing around and jumping here and there...
when i'm touched, tears start dropping like pipe...
when i'm sorry, i will show u the "sorry face"
when i'm sad, i will just listen to music with headset with the music opened to the loudest ..
when i'm nervous, u can see me walking around and eyeball keep on rolling here and there...
i'm born in such a way that, i cant really control the emotion frm showing it on my face...by my body language...

woke up at 6:30...lying on bed with clear mind...
thinking of what to say later...
washed face...wearing formal...
prayed...wearing the little white shoe..
here i go...
one step by one step..
i can see cars moving in to FPSK..
i can see trees and birds are surrouding k17.
and i see the 4th floor...of the faculty...
and i go inside, lift stop functioning...
i go up by staircase...
and i see no one there...but a cleaner...
replacing the plastic bag for the dustbin...
and i look at him...he looked at me with a weird face...
i wait...
5 mins...
10 mins...
15 mins...
i see somebody coming up...
dr. farida..she ask me to wait for a while with the sweet voice that actually calm me abit ...
and wait...
i can see the one who call me (i think she is ) comming out frm the meeting room and giving a paper to sign for it..
the time written there for the meeting to start is 8 :30
and i heard pn alia calling someone and ask the person to contact dr.shiran and so on people to come...
i start nervous...
i cant stop "goyang kaki"...
practise again what to talk...
memorise what to tell...
and then...
bout 8:20 i think they give up to wait somemore...
and pn. alia ask me to go inside..
with the heart beat 200...
i go...
sit in front of' em..
i smile..
good morning i greet...
it's much more terrible then if u go for the audition..
the singing competition ...
the viva as well...
all together they all gave me a smile if not mistaken...
coz i'm just take a glance on everyone...
and they start questioning me...

and.....


**************************************************************************
now.....

being very honest, i'm at library...
just came back frm the meeting held to defend myself to go for the exam...
with the oedema eyes, (u guys know wat happened when i said this)..
i cried not because of i'm happy or touched...
i cried coz i'm worried..
i'm raelly worried...
that what prof hamid said: i have to be fair to everyone..
like prof khatiza said: u should have known...
like dr. niazlin said: ur explaination is not solid enough...
like deputy dean said: how far u travel back frm perak?
like those sit there keep quiet with the eyes starring at me...
how i wish it was just a dream...
how i wish....
it was a nightmare for me...
when those doctors listening to my explaination, quietly, calmly...
i'm just not used to it..
like last time...everytime i go for the piano practical...
i just cant control...just cant control the hormone changed inside my body...
the nasocramial duct keep on secreting isotonic solution...
i just cant control my words being said clearly ...
i just lose the control...
i'm just rather disappointed with myself..
how can i be so muddled...
how can i do this kind of mistake...
i should have always remind myself...
but everything seems to be late...
my excuses are not reasonable when they said : do u have any other explaination?
my brain stop functioning on the spot they ask like this...
i just dont know what to say and what explaination should i give somemore..
it's rather hard for me...


****************************************************************************

right now, sitting calm in front of pc 3..
but still cant stop thinking of the scene happened just now..
can i go for the exam?
can i??
i just beg for the chance..
i dont want to take the consequences...
what i can said is just sorry...
i'm really sorry..
disappointment and sorrow-ness are deep inside me...
it just my fault...





right now i do not know what to do...
and my mind cant stop thinking of what can i do next and i just cant focus for my final anymore...
til they tell me i can sit for the exam..
cant imagine that... i go for the exam, and some people or one of those prof come and check for my matriks card and said: u cant take this exam and please leave the hall now!
i just cant imagine that happened to me..
thax buddy...
for ur consolation,
for ur companion,
for ur effort to making me laugh,
for u were trying to say sth else to distract me...
i appreciate it..
i have no one to call..
not suitable to call anyone..
hopeless, and loneliness are right besides me...
cant really forgive myself of doing such mistake...
how can beg for the understanding frm those prof if even i cant forgive myself...


*****************************************************************************

i'm kind of wasting time here for those who still work hard for the exam...
happy birthday to shing hui and hui fen..
happy birthday to en wan (23rd)
happy birthday to eggy su (22nd)
happy birthday to those having birthday soon...
with the best regards from me...



i hope i will be okay...

i will find the strength ...

sigh...it's been a few days didnt get good sleep...
final is coming very soon but yet i am still not ready for it..
and start wondering how to study for those mpe mmb and nm ...
honestly saying, i dont like them!!
systems are more easier for me to understand though i didnt score well in them but, at least i didnt lose my interest on them..


*******************************************************************************


just finished my nm assesment...
and dont ask me how was it..
i have no comment at all..
dont know is it because of my buddy told me the result wont be out or some of the people say it's not that important..
okay, let's back talking bout myself..
assesment is nothing !

it's been two years since i left secondary school..
and very sad to say that, last night when i was lying on bed, staring on those weight lose, nutrients etc....notes..
i have counted how many of my secondary schoolmates and those who considered as my best friend still in contact with me, still having a close relationship to me..
i found that, there's not that much...
i lose some of them...
i know, though we are still tapek on each other when we see each other but i know, we are not as close as last time..
sigh... i admit sometimes, i just dont know how to maintain the relationship, and i keep on use "i'm busy" as a excuse for me to not to contact with them...
i would like to apologize here to all of them...

I'M SO SORRY~~

yet, i still cant really take up some actions...
people who know me will know the reason why..
i cant really mix up well and start a topic to chat with those i lose contact long time ago..
it's like there's a gap between us, and there's too fake to start chatting how are u doing recently?
some of my friend do tell me that, just "fu yan"..
but somehow, i'm uneasy to do that...
so, most of the time, i will stay quiet and just listen to others, and then soon i will start get bored, and if there's a next time gathering, i will not appear anymore..haha..
that's me...
i would not say it's a good thing to be like me..
but life is just stick to yourself...who you are and what you have and seek for what you want ...
i dont think i wanna make my life complicated...
i do meet some of the people outside there, they make their life easier as they go for what they want , they tell what's in their mind..and they treat people with their true heart...and that's the way i think why they got so many friends around them...
i DO feel sad when i found myself do not have much friend..
but i never regret or doubt to be --myself...
at least, i'm not lost yet, i'm still ME..
unlike some of the cases i met is they often fake when they mix up with people until at the end,they dont recognize themselves and start to get depressed..
they dont live in happiness as they keep on fake...

not to criticize, not in purpose to change their mind, just expressing my opinion here as i think they will continue to be unhappy till one day they really express themselves..


********************************************************************************

being very honest here, i want to share sth bout my "relationship"
i'm still S.A.D...
properly dont have "D" lar..
hmm...those who want to know what S.A.D stands for just come ask me privately lar..
haha..
hmm... i gt some puppy love before, though some of my friends think that it's kind of too dramatic or "fooling people"...
but i'm happy and glad that i've experienced those so called "puppy-love"..
many of my ex schoolmates often ask, am i in a relationship..and once i said NO..then they start to doubt that what i tell is untrue...
i dont know why they dont believe and until i said i'm being "lelong" now but still i'm not sold...haha...and then only they start to believe and start to doubt whether is it because of i "look too high" and cant see the people under me...
okay...hmm...i'm here again to explain again, i'm single..
not in purpose to start "lelong" myself here..but just to tell those who really "concern" bout my current status... 38!!


Yes, once i thought i found it, i thought i was loved... i thought i falled in love... but somehow i lose it...
AGAIN, once i thought this is the person ... but AGAIN, it's NOT...
i'm not rush for a relationship as one of my friend said " Learn how to Love God before u Love someone else" "make sure you are ready before u start a relationship" "dont get in a relationship without consideration just because of you are kong xu" etc...
i know,, and thanks my friends that reminding me...
i know...
i easily to "bertindak terburu-buru" when things come to relationship..
i follow the feeling inside me...and that's always make me being fooled..
i'm not going to say myself to be not clever enough as i think there's no marks, it's not an exam or what...
we can't really use our logic thinking to solve the feeling inside us..
it's sth out-of-control sometimes...
and those who use their logic think to apply on "LOVE"...i think they dont really understand what is LOVE yet...
(jeh...being pro man! haha..)
no lar, just here to share my opinion...

yes, we all seek for LOVE...
we all need in the age of finding partner...
finding someone who really know us well and walk by us when we are in trouble..
but it's not that easy to "find" or even "wait " for the person to appear in life..
but trust me, there'll be someone ...
waiting you...
at the middle of your life...
he/she will be the one you long for...
he/she will be the one that you can hand over your life for...

OR,

even this person already appear in your life..
but it's just the matter of time...
you need to wait for it...while you have to go on with your life alone, carry up the Love from friends, the Love from family and the LOVE FROM GOD...


there will be someone there...

p/s : recommend a song again here (footprints in the sand by leona lewis) .the lyric means so much~~~


till here...

God bless everyone...
you will see me become more tough and tough!!
chao~

life is miserable IF i'm studying nutrition.

what i wanna shout out here loud is...
i hate nutrition!!!
study one small sheet of note also need about one hour...
what i really hate is those useless weight control, interaction between nutrients, minerals and vitamin...
aduh...hate betol!!!
tuesday need to sit for the assesment, friday another assesment for alimentary system..
dont know how to sit for the assesment for nutrition ...
frankly to said, didnt really attend most of the class..
coz it's kind of wasting time sitting there and listen, i rather study myself than listen to the lecture..


**************************************************************************


Final coming soon after this, still havent really get prepared..
study week will go back home..
home sweet home..
at least i no need to think of where to settle my meals, and have to wash my own clothes..
1st time try to study at home, hope that can concentrate well at home..
this will decide whether i need to come back here k17 alone while others are enjoying their holidays..
Cameron highland, ipoh, penang etc.. plan hope will be run as usual..
God please bless me much...


**************************************************************************


yes, people i know i shall not sitting in front of the laptop and blogging right now, but just gve me 10 minutes to finish it..
recently, find out that the rumour starts again..
sigh...
people, why you all so excited??
really cant really understand...
these people are meaningful to me and special to me as well..
i DO NOT know why u all wanna translate the relationship between these people with me to become sth like "doubtful" or " dubious"...
different gender cant be best friend is it?
DUH...
they have special role playing in my life, they are nice people who really treat me nice...
IF there's really sth between us, then why not i admit it?
sigh...
whatever how u guys wanna think of it lar...
i'm just here to express my disappointment towards those who really trust the rumour..



back to the seat. * study * AGAIN~ sigh...

i just wanna blog..about you...

It's Your Love - tim mcgraw and faith hill

that's in the dark
middle of the night takin your heart
and holdin'it tight

emotional touch
toughin' my skin
and askin you to do
what you've been doin' all over again

oh, it's a beautiful thing
dont think i can keep it all in
i just gotta let u know
what it is that wont let me go

it's your love
it just does somethin to me
it sends a shock right through me
i cant's get enough
so if you wonder
about the spell i'm under
it's your love.







now i wonder, why people said there is sometimes when things is better not to say it out than you tell.
i'm born with quite high sensitive to things that happened ...
sometimes, it's a good thing yes...
but sometimes, i think it quite often irritate me...
or change the way i say, i suppose people, or human being should at least has their own natural ability to sense sth dangerous or something weird what...
how come we need to transfer the message out by words only some people will know?
other than that, is there any better way to transfer message like body language?
is it that i need to smash the table when i'm angry only you will know i'm angry right NOW.?
haiz...
the solution not to damage the relationship among these "human beings" the only thing i can do is... endure...



p/s: thax for those who understand me, you may think of you didnt help me much but at least u let me know that i'm not over-sensitive as you let me know that, you also sense the same thing as mine, and think in the way i think...thax!


*************************************************************************

by the way, i start to miss my secondary school who always gila gila around with me..
crap jokes, and gossip around...that's the way we communicate?
haha..nope, we are more than that...
we share tears, we share our happiness, we share our memories too..
but somehow, lack of time to gather actually make some of the relationship changed..
some of them are not that close to me now, though i still treat them as my best friend..
haiz...just let everything go on in their natural way ba...
i cant force thing to happen in what i expect...
enjoy the current life.. and live the life to the fullest !!


*********************************************************************************


you!
yes, it's you...
i'm talking bout you...
never think of u can influence me so easily...
dont feel like wanna depend on u...
dont really feel like wanna let u know that i always seek for your help...
dont really hope that u realize the true "ME" is that dependent...
dont really wanna let u know the true ME -- the "little mui mui zai"...
i know i can stop all these...
and you will remain special to me...
ever...



******************************************************************************


let's call this fella as " thirdy "
there's so much misunderstand between us...
no matter it's before we lose contact or after ...
i'm so guilty that i didnt tell u that i never forget everything that happened when we are "best friend" ever...
i never forget bout the nun uni kada rikiden...
i never forget that you insist to bring the math question paper to my house even it's already 1am midnight with the lightning and wind blowing outside...
i'm still touched everytime i recall it bout the memories between us...
just wanna admit here, i'm thinking of you right now..
there's no possibility that we may become like last time...
i know, and i didn't even dare to ask for it...
yes, i know somehow, i had hurt u, so deeply that ...
u can said those words to me...
maybe it's kind of take revenge? lol...
let's take it as if u are to take revenge..
yes, u success, it make a deep scar in my heart...
you are so important to me last time...
and this lead to the scar will remain in my heart for my life...
i wont angry with u, and i'm not ...
maybe to u, i deserve it...
but IF, IF.....
if u know that i never forget ? and i always take it in heart??
if i had told u that i still remember and you are special to me no matter who you are?
if i have told u...
if i never said that...
if i apologise...
if i...
will you??
everything seems gone after that day...
you are sensitive as me...
i know why u act on that way...
but sorry... i didnt think of ur feeling...sorry that i didnt admit...
coz that time i just dont know how to react or continue if i admit...
thousand words i feel like wanna tell ...
but we got no chance anymore...
and i know i shouldnt disturb your life anymore...
just hope that u can live ur life happily...
and forget me as u can...
i know you can...

憋尿感言~

大家！
我又回归了！！
哈哈。。。
其实算是带着一个复杂的心情回来。。
四天在家里。。
真的什么压力都没有，很轻松自在的活着。。
生命的意义顿时是那么的有价值！哈哈。。
跟哥哥闹在一块儿玩。。
虽然二哥还是很嘴贱的说我的腿“吃三年都吃不完！”，“你真的需要减肥了！越来越肥，肥婆！”哈哈。。
无语啦。。随便啦，尽量克制啦~
很无忧无虑的过了那么轻松的几天，真的有点不舍得回来。。
买的车票有点迟，三点半的。
加上坐srimaju 的，有点慢，因为绕怡保回kl。。。
再加上一路塞车，还真的有点闷！
还好，半路上了一个“长相不错的异性”（还坐我前面的那种。）是有一点爽到啦！哈哈。。
不过，一件非常值得提的事想在这里说：
憋尿真的不是盖的“爽”！
其实已开始就有点有要micturate的感觉，因为妈在身边陪我说话。
也不想浪费时间去厕所，再加上上个厕所还要缴个三角钱！
算了吧。。
上车时，不回头一路潇洒的走向巴士！
所谓的潇洒，其实只是怕自己会不舍得，不争气的多余水分会从眼角跑出来。。
所以，潇洒的上了车，坐下，看着手机，不想抬头。。
知道老爸妈一定会跟我掰掰。
结果还是抬了头，望出窗，还真的是挥手。。
我是带着微笑挥了挥手。心想：两个礼拜罢了！！我会回来的！

***********************************************************


谁知，因为不排尿，这还真的害得我惨！
越来越急，车又一直跳。。
我的尿袋真的有要爆的感觉。
很痛苦。我还夸张到祷告只要巴士停，我以后一定会不做坏事之类的。。
神经病！可是，当我看着歇息站就从我眼前滑过，我还真的有冲动跑到前面捉巴士司机的领子起来，盖他几巴掌！
为什么不停啊！
我还真的是涨到肚子都打起来。。
开始有痛的感觉。。
如果700ml是爆肛的时候，我想当时我应该有699.9ml吧！！
痛耶！！ 我继续祷告，脸部表情应该也没好到哪里去。。
你们应该会觉得我为什么都不向巴士司机停？
谁没想过阿！可是我坐里面。。
作我隔壁的是一个蛮老的阿伯了咧！
在怎样我也不好意思叫他借过吧？
而且我那是真的就来爆的感觉。。
尽量不想，催眠自己，sakai到sms老豆告诉他我就来失禁了！
怎知，老哥尽然还sms来perli我：
“sayang, dah sampai ke belum??? dah kencing ke sayang?!! ”
!@$#$%&^&@#$#$^%^
只能说，尿袋！你一定要争气点！！

忍。。。
忍！！！
忍！！！！！！！



昏昏迷迷的，撑开眼一看，休息站！！！
巴士还没停，我就已经站起来了。。
谁知！！！

厕所爆满！！！
排到夸张的长！！
有几个安綈还插队！
不管了，我也插！！！
谁要是敢说两句话我还真的会骂人！！
急到~~！！！！！
等！！
我忍！！！
终于明白厕所的重要性！


解放了后，很得意的走出来看到还有很长的龙。。
哈哈。。。我解放了~~！！
你们慢慢等啦~
买了个100plus也没太喝。。
真的怕了忍尿！！
还真的会尿毒！不良示范！小朋友别学~哈哈。。
八点多后才到PUDU..
一个朋友来接送，终于也安全到家。。


回家这几天，只能说，我没后悔过。。
很开心，很轻松。。
RECHARGED！！！
我会从新拼过的！！
哈哈。。
虽然我还没有心准备就来到的考试。。
不知死活。。
可是，总之到时一定会温习的！
哈哈。。。本人有点堕落。。

念家记！

想家！想家！！想家！！！
想到头都快爆了。。。
没有私家车载送还真的麻烦到。。。。
老哥搬回家住，我就想被抛弃的婴孩，回家特别不方便。。
回家其实除了要扛很重的东西有点不方便，其实也没什么大不了的。。
到了pudu直接买车票就可以回。撇开安全不说，其实我还是可以回的。。。
问题就出现在，我必须从pudu车站一个人回来。
不是说我没回过。。
上次又一次跟朋友一起回来upm，要怪就怪那是突然下起雨。。
很狼狈的我就冒着雨，跟在朋友后面，忘了去记一记去找巴士的路。。
闷到！！结果，到现在我还搞不清到底从pudu回upm要去哪里找那该死的巴士！！
问题就在这里。。
要开口求人来载我，我又没那么厚脸皮。。
多多少少还是会怕给人添麻烦。。
重点是，我现在真的超级无敌想家。。
超级喜欢在家跟爸妈哈拉，然后看老哥打ps，看戏，去逛街，吃早餐！！
没了这些我就好像少了一块肉。。
不爽！！！
我也蛮久没见到我那帅气的老哥了。。
总是我回家他就去读书，我出去读书他就回家！！

话说回来。。
本人发现自己处事作风越来越像老哥。。
现在变成好像只有他们听得懂我在说什么。
他们听得懂我说的笑话，我的脾气，我喜欢些什么，我不喜欢写什么。。
在他们面前，我不需要伪装，我不需要勉强，我不需要压抑些什么。。
我可以喜欢说什么就什么。。
因为我知道不管我说错什么，做错什么，想些什么。。
他们会骂我（最多），然后最多我很勉强的说句锁里就没事了。。

很不好意思的说，我们三兄妹有三八别人的坏习惯。
刚好那就是我最喜欢做的事，我哥除了喜欢批评我之外，看到不认识女孩子走过，还会嘴贱批评下。。
哈哈。。不良示范！

还有老爸老妈。。
两个扮演着相反的角色，一个扮凶，一个是真的很lovely~~~哈哈
生活了十九年，其实我早就知道老爸是个超级含蓄的人！
哈哈，在这里揭穿我家人的面具，不好意思。。哈哈。。
老爸生起气来还真的不是盖的！！
我虽然是家里的唯一千金，可是我完全没有什么千金待遇！
还是一视同仁！被打的次数不会少过一般小孩啦~
为了什么事就不好在这里说啦。。
衰事做太多，所以咯。。。
哈哈。。。但本人知道老爸最疼就是我！！哈哈。。
老妈呢~~嗯。。。
超级典型慈祥，SWEET 到爆的妈妈。。
我遗传她发达的泪腺，一旦被刺激，泪水可以像pipe那样流到不能关。。
但是综合我老爸顽强个性。。所以，朋友们，要看到我哭，其实你还是要飞一些功夫的。。。哈哈。。

唉。。
总之，有的选择的话，我宁愿一辈子呆在家！！！
想家啦！！！
T——T

footprint in the sand

You walked with me
Footprints in the sand
And helped me understand
Where I'm going

You walked with me
When I was all alone
With so much unknown
Along the way

And just when I
I thought I'd lost my way
You gave me strength to carry on
That's when I heard you say

I promise you
I'm always there
When your heart is filled with sorrow
And despair

And I'll carry you
When you need a friend
You'll find my footprints in the sand
When I'm weary
Well I know you'll be there
Cause I can feel you
When you say

I promise you
I'm always there
When your heart is filled with sadness and despair
Oh, I'll carry you
When you need a friend
You'll find my footprints in the sand

[choir]

When your heart is full of sadness and despair
I'll carry you
When you need a friend

I promise you
I'm always there
When you need a friend
You'll find my footprints
In the sand



[by leona lewis]

recommended by my lovely brother...

it's really a nice song..
everytime feel homesick i'll listen to it..
i will feel better then...

A-2-2

昨天---jessie的生日。。
gempak 的地方应该就是我们“全家”坐在一间充满纸鹤，照片，公仔，礼物，蜡烛的地上，一个充满温馨的房间的地上，看着之前被录好的video。。。
很多感触。。。
我虽然不是主角，很三八的我却陪jessie哭了起来。。。


当晚在faculty cafe本人第一次“湿身”， 全身上下，从里到外，湿到很彻底。。
再此感谢：james,winsion, AJ, keith...etc...sorry for not mention those who has contributed ...lol...
p/s ：平时静静的winsion,突然也玩得那么开，有点吓到！！哈哈。。
第一次很不顾形象的玩到那么颠。。。
却很开心，很放纵，很爽！


说回那个video..虽然本人可以说是除了供应照片过后也没什么大作为，当时只想说py的video也做到太成功了吧？？
应该跟本人的泪水线发达没关系，因为看得出其他几个只是忍着忍着，不作声，其实也是热泪满眶了的。。。
嘿嘿。。。
看了那个video，说实话真的觉得，A22 是一个很特别的地方，一个聚集8个女生的地方。。。
在几个月前从大家开始踏入这间家开始，到现在可以毫不保留的彼此面前翘角吃饭，大声说大声笑，从第一间喊话喊到隔壁家都听到等。。。A22 真的很特别。。。


我们有冷战，互不爽，到开心，温馨，感动。。。
什么感觉，什么回忆都有，看似相处几年了，感觉像老朋友了，其实却是几个月累积下来的回忆。。。
看了那个video真的有“sigh,之前发生的事，不开心的，生气的，不爽的，都一笔勾销吧！让我们A22从新来过！”


很感性的说，很谢谢那些曾经在我生气时来安慰我的，在我发牢骚时安抚我的，在我伤心时听我说的，在我压力时陪我熬夜的。。。很多很多。。。
想说我们有不同的性格，不同的想法，但也因此我们更加了解彼此，更加亲近彼此。。。
很多回忆还需要我们来建造，A22我期待更多！！